Post # 1
I’m feeling really upset right now because there are very very few (14) people coming to my wedding. I sent my invitations out 9 months in advance to give people lots of time to plan and save (the wedding is also NOT a destination wedding, I’m having it right in town), but regret after regret came in. It’s too late to invite anyone else, and really, the people I wanted there were all invited already anyways. My moms suggestion? Let the people who are coming bring a couple of their friends just to boost numbers. Minimum number for the caterers is 25 so I’m paying for them anyways but I’ve never been more hurt and humiliated. The ironic part is that we were going to elope but our friends and family convinced us not to so every one could share in our day. I’m not sure if I should just swallow my pride and let anyone who is willing to come, even if I’ve never met or heard of them in my life and will never see them again, just so I don’t have to get married in front of row after row of empty chairs. Wish we had just eloped 🙁
Post # 2
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
How many people did you invite? I disagree with your mom’s idea of letting just anyone come. There’s nothing wrong with a small intimate wedding! I would have loved something with under 20 people, honestly!
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
I’m sorry you’re not going to get the turn out you expected, I’m sure thats very disappointing. How many people did you invite? Is your wedding during a date or time that would inconvenience a lot of people? Trying to make sense of the declines since its local. I wouldn’t invite strangers just to fill seats but thats me. If it helps the restaurant reception for my first marriage was only around 15 people and everyone had a wonderful time. 😊 As long as those attending are happy for you it’ll be ok.
Post # 4
I’m sorry, this sounds quite upsetting.
If it makes you feel better I will be getting married in a few weeks with a grand total of 15 guests! I know you had invited more, but that doesn’t mean a small and intimate number will ruin the day! I’m sure everyone will still have a lovely time 🙂
Post # 5
Thanks for the kind words everyone, I needed cheering up :). We invited 62 guests with the expectation that the end number would be around 40-45, so not tons of people but certainly more than are coming! I’m just bummed because I spent so much time and energy planning this wedding with my guests in mind and only a fraction of them are coming now. I’ll just have to adjust my expectations and make the best of what I’m sure will be a very lovely, small wedding!
Post # 6
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
Is it on a weekday? Has everyone else literally rsvp’d “no” or you just haven’t heard back yet?
Post # 7
I went through the exact same thing as you. Invited 70 people and 13 RSVPd. I know it’s stressful – and I had to suck it up and just pay the minimum – but once your day gets here you won’t even notice! I didn’t anyways. I thought it’d be horrible and I’d be so disappointed but it was still the best day ever. I didn’t even think about everyone who didn’t show up.
Post # 8
Instead of inviting random people (awful idea) talk to your venue about upgrades. They don’t care how many people are there, they care how much money you spend.
I’m sorry so many of your guests can’t make it but I’m sure your wedding will still be wonderful.
Post # 9
If your wedding is on a weekday, I wouldn’t take the regrets personally. It may help to look at the positives: you’re going to save a lot of money and you’re going to be surrounded by people who enthusiastically and genuinely want to be there.
There’s plenty of people who spend a ton of money and have a large wedding and it’s full of people who are there just for the party or don’t even really have best wishes for the marrying couple. I’d prefer to have a small wedding over that kind of negative energy, personally.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
If you have to pay for 25 anyway, can you upgrade some things? Top shelf liquor, see if they’ll do you a late night snack, another appetiser or two for cocktail hour? Sorry you’ve been disappointed by your friends and family 🙁
Post # 11
Ugh, I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It is my biggest fear in planning my wedding. We’re inviting about 75, and anticipating 50, but I keep worrying that only a few will come. Most of our guest will be from out of town so I think that’s where my fear comes from. It must be so disappointing, though. At least you’ll get to spend some quality time with each guest. When is the wedding, I know you said it’s too late to invite anyone else, but maybe it’s not. Maybe a few coworkers or neighbors could come?
Post # 12
We invited around 80, about 10 people RSVP’d properly but we have 60+ people coming. Is it a case of miscommunication, have they all said they are definitely unable to make it?
As previous posts have said is it a weekday or a day a lot of people would be away for instance?
I know it’s hard but try not to take it personally. I would rather a small intimate wedding with people that care about me than full of people I don’t know, try and make some positives out of it 🙂
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
Firstly, big hugs. I know how horrible it is to invite people and have them not come to something <3
I’m sure there was a Bee on here who only had a very VERY small wedding – I seem to recall that some of the venue staff sat in her seats so they looked a little fuller for the photos.
My recommendation would just be to only set out the amount of seats for the people coming. That way, you aren’t seeing empty seats 🙂
How far out is your wedding? Are you sure you couldn’t invite more people? <3
Post # 14
I’m so sorry that your current situation isn’t what you wanted and that you are sad about it – That said, if your first plans were to elope, is that still an option? If not then I agree with the suggestion of upgrading what you can, better booze, better flowers, hotel suite for you and H2B, best make up, best everything you can get for the same price you would have been paying for the cost of feeding 60+ and give yourself the best damn wedding ever – but whatever you do – don’t invite a bunch of strangers 🙂
Post # 15
My sister got married in December and she had maybe 12 or 14 folks (including them). It was beautiful and we had an awesome time!! Weddings don’t need to be huge to be nice.