(Closed) No One is Thowing Me a Bridal Shower

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

Well, from an etiquette standpoint, you shouldn’t throw one yourself (and you’re already planning a wedding!  Planning your shower would be extra work!!).  And if you want to get really technical, your mother/ sister/ etc shouldn’t either (unless, I suppose that’s who your Maid/Matron of Honor is…)  Speaking of Maid/Matron of Honor, I assume you have one, and maybe some BMs too.  You could always drop some hints!  Mention watching some bridal show (or the movie Bridesmaids for that matter!) and how the bridal shower was really nice or something.  Asking for one is just as… uncouth… as throwing one yourself, but I see no problem with dropping some hints if it means that much to you, which it sounds like it does!  I’m sorry you’re in this situation but I really hope it works out for you 🙂

Post # 4
Member
8681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I personally wouldn’t throw one for myself as it would seem really gift grabby. I am sure it is upsetting that no-one has offered to throw you a shower but unfortunately life can suck at times!

 

Post # 5
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I kind of asked the same question a few months ago. I just moved to a new city and state and didn’t feel I would have a shower but I wasn’t doing it for the gifts I just wanted the experience (if this makes sense). In the end, I still want a shower but a few bee’s came up with the idea of having a ladies toast, lunchoen, craft party (whatever you want to call it) but just not call it a shower. I told a few ladies I may consider having a craft party to get me in the spirit of the wedding. My plan is to have a few ladies over and having them help me with wedding projects. (nothing to crazy or hard). I was going to make drinks, a few apps, do some easy wedding craft and play a few games. Since I am not doing a shower for the gifts I am totally fine with the experience of my craft party. Besides, the few ladies I told loved the idea. Keep in mind I am talking about 4 maybe 5 ladies. Good luck

Post # 6
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with j_jaye. I’m sorry your upset about not having one. What is it exactly about a bridal shower you were hoping for? I didn’t have one, so personally don’t see the need for one.

Post # 7
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@actime:  nailed it.  You can absolutely throw a party – just don’t call it a shower.  Its the experience you’re after anyway, not the gifts – I hope?  Chances are a few, but don’t expect all, will get the idea that this is in lieu of a shower and bring you gifts.

Post # 9
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well i thought about having a hat shower before we started planning the wedding. You know when each person has to wear a gorgeous hat and cannot wear white only the bride can but with planning our own wedding and all of the DIY things i have going on i decided i didnt want to plan my own shower. ( Im a control freak so i only wanted to plan my own i had a bad experience with an event that was planned for me and didn’t happen and i had to do it myself anyway )

So my sister insisted she throw me one but now she is preggo with my niece and will be due right before the wedding and i told her not because 1. we have a baby shower to plan and 2. i don’t want the gifts i just want people to come to the wedding and enjoy themselves.

So don’t feel bad throw yourself and amazing celebration gathering and have a good time.

Post # 10
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@actime: That sounds really fun! What a lovely idea. (Also, hi month twin!)

Post # 11
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

A bride cannot in good taste throw herself a shower; showers are by definition about getting gifts, regardless of your subjective intentions.  If it’s not the gifts you’re after, but rather the togetherness and bonding time, you can host any kind of non-gift centric party you want.  You can invite people over for Sunday brunch, or a wine tasting party, or a movie night, or a pool party, or anything else that sounds like fun to you.

Post # 12
Member
673 posts
Busy bee

@JDBroadnax:  If you don’t care about the gifts, then just throw a party for yourself. Don’t call it a shower since that comes with certain expectations for gifts, and, as others have pointed out, isn’t in line with common etiquette.

Host a brunch, do a ladies night out, have a picnic at a park, or any number of other activities. There are tons of activities you can do where you have fun without coming off as gift grabby by self-hosting a shower.

Post # 13
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@JDBroadnax:  I won’t be having a shower either because our wedding is super small (14-16) and almost everyone lives hundreds to thousands of miles away from me.  I feel badly sometimes and even a bit envious of other brides who have friends through them such amazing showers.

My mom and I love going to coffee together and someday closer to wedding time, we’re arranging for a quiet corner at our favorite coffee place.  Even though it will be just us, we’re going to have a mini-shower.  That way I’m not violating etiquette rules, but I get a small shower.  We’re going to wear hats, bring in pink balloons, the works. 

Post # 14
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

where do you live? ill throw it! 🙂 hang in there. believe me, i know this wedding stuff can have its heartaches. its NOT like the movies at all!!!

Post # 15
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2023

Maybe it’s a British thing, but showers are almost completely unheard of over here. I don’t understand at all why you would need one?

Post # 16
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Fairy Penguin:  Hey date twin, thanks. 

 

@Nellop: I don’t think its so much “we need one” its just apart of the spirit of a wedding. Its the moment when all the girls come together and just have a fun day. This is a very special and happy moment for me (us) and I just want to be able to celebrate it. It’s like a baby shower, yes most people do it for the gifts but it is also just a day to celebrate the newest joy in ones life. 

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