(Closed) “no one noticed”

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Have you noticed details that the bride thought you didn't notice?
    Yes, but they were bad things and I didn't want to tell her. : (24 votes)
    35 %
    Yes, but I never got around to mentioning anything to her. : (11 votes)
    16 %
    No : (19 votes)
    28 %
    Not sure : (15 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    2201 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Ditto – I figure that it’s a bad guest who mentions bad things to a bride either on her wedding day or after.

    But, I do try to mention cute things if I remember later, like “those truffles were delicious!” or “the family wedding photos were a nice touch.”

    Post # 4
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I completely agree.  No one tells you the truth!  …that’s why the hive is so great! 🙂

    But – I also have a handful of close friends that I know would be honest with me… so, it’s to them I wanted feedback of the wedding (not the typical: oh, it was so great, everything was so beautiful, blah blah blah)

    I would NEVER mention it to the bride, unless we were super close and she asked me point-blank (for the negative feedback).

    Post # 5
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think it depends on who you are. We are all brides on this website with wedding on the brains 24/7. I think we all notice the little things because we are focused on the little things too. A person who doesn’t have wedding on the brain may not notice.

    Post # 6
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I remember a grumpy bride once, but her memor of the day is that she was carefree and easygoing.. and she was, but not until the reception.  I would never inform her otherwise though.  I wouldn’t say anything negative after the fact because the bride can’t do anything about it now except mull over it.  I would tell her positive things though!

    Post # 7
    2237 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Miss Tattoo: I totally agree with this.  Even before I got engaged I loved watching wedding shows, but until I was planning my own wedding I wasn’t noticing all the little details that I either loved or thought didn’t work.  But now it’s as if I have wedding radar, lol.

    Post # 8
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    There was only one wedding I’ve been to where I thought, “wow. This food is really quite bad”. But I knew my friend and her husband were on a major shoestring budget so would never have thought to say anything to them about it – that would be in horrible taste.

    Post # 9
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I always make a point to mention to the bride and groom how wonderful everything is and I point out all the details. Because really, I know they spent a lot of time on them from personal experience! Although I would also never point out anything that went wrong or was poorly planned or inconsiderate to guests. I have a ‘this is their day’ mentality when it comes to weddings and I’m able to suck it up.. unless it’s REALLY bad.

    Post # 10
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Fiance and I went to a wedding once that was awful – three hours in between ceremony and reception with no food, very limited alcohol, etc.

    I told the bride everything was beautiful and we had a great time! Was it and did we? No and no.

    You just don’t say anything.  It’s like telling someone their baby is ugly.  You just don’t do it.

    Post # 11
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @Linz1231: I totally agree. You are a guest at the wedding, and you take what you get. I don’t think it’s right for anyone to complain or rant or rave about how awful things are. You just keep it to yourself b/c it’s not your day.

    Post # 12
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I also agree with Miss Tattoo that those of us engaged or recently married notice all the tiny details. I’ve always loved weddings but never paid so much attention to table card numbers and length of table cloth, size of cake table, and all those little things. Most guests just zoom out and view the bigger picture.

    Post # 13
    2820 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think sometimes the ‘no one noticed’ comments are more meant as ‘it didn’t interrupt the day or affect our happiness’. 

    Sure there’s always little things that go wrong at a wedding and people put in so much work to have things go perfectly that it almost seems like a surprise when it’s like well yeah all the details weren’t perfect as planned but the day was still perfect for us.  

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