(Closed) No patience today

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

The only thing I can suggest is finding something to keep your mind off it.

Post # 4
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Oh god!  I seem to be in the “good spirits” phase of my Waiting Cycle, so perhaps I can offer support πŸ™‚

If I remember correctly, he asked for you to send the pictures, right? IF he asked, you’re allowed to talk about it without  worrrying about pressuring him. Just say “hey, did you get my email? What do you think and please be honest if you think any of my choices are ugly :-)”

And By The Way my guy is online at work all the time, doing stuff I’ll never be able to know about. Maybe he doesn’t want to look at the links in front of you….

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah I agree, find a hobby to distract yourself!  Sending a link to rings is already quite pushy.. watching him and questioning him about whether or not he has opened the links is over the line in my opinion.  I can understand that you are anxious and frustrated with the waiting game, but constantly nagging him like that won’t help.  You’ve let him know you’re ready to get married, now you need to give him the time to be ready himself.  If you keep pushing you are either going to drive him away, and force him to marry you before he’s ready (which isn’t good for either of you). 

Post # 7
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Moose1209: He did ask her for ring pics, so it’s not totally pushy. I do agree with you that nagging is totally conterproductive.  Telling him feelings is different than nagging. Nagging requires him to “do something” in response. Nagging is asking the same thing multiple times.

If you’re absolutely going nuts you can even tell him that.  “Hi Honey, I’m trying not to completely lose my sh*t since you asked me for ring ideas! So forgive me if you see me looking like a kid in a candy store. Or if my head seems to be all over the place. I’m just trying not to go nuts over here…”

But do stop watching him to see if he’s opened the links. Asking him directly is one thing, but watching over his shoulder and making yourself crazy is taking it another level. That will get unbearable very quickly.

 

Post # 8
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@BellsforHer: oh that’s right! Thanks for refreshing my memory. Do you think maybe it hurt his feelings that you didn’t want to go shopping with him?

Post # 9
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

As long as he asked, then just know you did the right thing! Boys do things on their own schedules, and maybe he was waiting until he knew you weren’t going to be around to really look at the pictures and think about what he wants to get.  Definitely do some things that make you happy to get your mind off of it, but be happy that he is at least interested! And even if he didn’t look right away, at least he does have the pictures so you know you will get something similar to what you want! I am too afraid to send pictures to Boyfriend or Best Friend bc he hasnt asked and I dont want to seem pushy, so be happy that he at least has them!! πŸ˜€

PS-Also know that boys like to be sneaky, so he may be doing a lot of stuff behind the scenes without u knowing it πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Ah! that makes sense.  As long as you’ve gone in yourself and tried the rings on, I think that’s acceptable. Or you can call ahead and ask for an appt with a salesperson who’s not going to be pushy about dates, etc.

You have tried them on though, right?

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