Post # 1
Before I start, yes, I am aware that I cannot control peoples actions. They may choose to ignore our request.
My Fiance and I talked it over and both really hope that we can get as few people as possible to take pictures during our ceremony. I paid $2,500 for my photographer and really don’t want her shots impeaded.
FI’s family is NOTORIOUS for standing up and taking photos during/before/after events and getting in the way of photographers. So I was talking to his mom, who I had NOT seen do this. Said, “FI and I really hope we can get people to just enjoy the ceremony and they can take pictures at the reception. We’ve paid a lot of money for professional photos and I really don’t want a bunch of people in the background with phones and cameras out. We think it’s so tacky when someone steps out into the aisle to get a photo when the person they paid is trying to capture that. We’ll have a DVD so everyone can have all the pictures they want. Our officiant will make an announcement, but we are trying to spread it by word of mouth through both famlies as well.”
FMIL’s response “Well I do that at weddings! No one has every told me I can’t. I did it at FI’s Cousins wedding and so did the rest of the family. Why is this wedidng different? It really doens’t matter what you ask, no one is going to NOT take photos.”
It’s the rudest response I have ever gotten from her. I wasn’t trying to be mean but it IS TACKY when people get in the photographers way. It’s rude and your crappy iPhone flash may just ruin the first kiss shot.
Ugh. I guess asking was the best I can do. It just ticked me off that she swept her son’s request under the rug so easily.
Post # 2
What an irritating response. Show her this website, seeing ruined photos may help her understand: http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding
Either way, you can post a sign, print it in your programs, and/or have your officiant say something before the ceremony begins to dissuade others.
Post # 3
I completely agree with this, and as her being your Future Mother-In-Law, she should respect your wishes. I’m actually making a sign that EVERYONE will see before they enter our ceremony area. It’ll say something along the lines of “Welcome Family and Friends. We invite you to be truly present with us at this special time. Please turn off your cell phones and put away your cameras. We have hired a photographer who we trust to capture how this moment looks- we want you to capture how it feels with your hearts- without the distraction of technology.”
Or something like that. Honestly, I’m going to be pissed if I’m looking at my wedding pictures and see more cameras than people faces.
Post # 4
- Wedding: December 2014 - Loft
I think it’s tacky to control other people. You can ASK, but what are you ultimately going to do if someone takes out their phone to snap a pic…stop the ceremony and cuss them out? Just live in the moment and hope for the best. I think harboring all this unnecessary anxiety about the issue is the reason it shouldn’t even be asked of guests. It’s like saying to guest “please chew with your mouth closed at the dinner. Good luck, but it’s just not worth it.
Post # 5
“This wedding is different because it’s not cousin’s wedding, it’s our
wedding. And this is what we want. We hope you will respect that.” Then send her that link. “It may seem foreign to you, but there are legitimate reasons for this, and maybe this will help you understant it a little better.”
Post # 6
One suggestion I’ve read is for the officiant to ask the guests to put their cameras away before beginning the ceremony. Maybe allow guests to take a few photos then put the cameras away before the ceremony begins. I think getting the officiant to say something could be really effective.
Post # 7
So frustrating! It’s good you have your officiant make the announcement, even if it might go unheard. Would she calm down if she knew she could easily recieve pictures from the photographer after the wedding? This is your request to not take pictures, shame people cannot respect it and they get haughty over it too!
Post # 8
Though I agree with you, she may have felt defensive after you called it tacky.
Anyhow, sometimes it’s in the photographer’s contract that other people should not interfere with the shots and they are not liable/can leave if this happens. While I think this is just to cover them in case, say, your first kiss shot is ruined, maybe you can use this as ammo to scare her off a bit?
Post # 9
I feel your pain. I’m a wedding photographer, and I deal with it all the time
. It gets worse every single year. You’d think people would have more common sense than to get up and walk around at someone’s wedding ceremony, but sadly, they don’t. I spend whole weddings battling iPads being held into the air for photos. Not.Even.Kidding.
If you want to go unplugged (which I highly suggest!!!), definitely put it in your programs. However, you can also ask your officiant to read the saying at the start of your ceremony – before you yourself come down the isle. Are you getting married in a church? If so, many of them have that rule anyway.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
I shoot weddings and have had the officiant ask guests not to take photos, that seems to work. I’ve also seen signs asking not to, as a photographer if someone is in my way I will ask them to move if i have to, I don’t play around.
Post # 11
Are we marrying into the same family??? lol
Fiance and I decided early on that we wanted our pro to be the only one taking pictures during the ceremony, but we both struggled to come up with a way of giving Future Mother-In-Law advance notice since we were sure she would basically react the same way yours did. We caught a lucky break, though, because Future Mother-In-Law actually posted a link to a random photo-sharing ap to FI’s FB page saying, “you guys should definately do this!” and it gave us a great “in” for explaining in depth our reasons against it in a non-confrontational way.
We basically listed out all the reasons as to why we made our decision (we went the touchy-feely route and said things like, “we want everyone to be truly in the moment rather than separated by a screen” and “We feel that the extra technology will make it harder for everyone to truly be present with us”) and then posted a couple links to articles about unplugged weddings (one was nothing but a collection of wedding picutres that had been ruined by guests on their camera phones).
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2014 - Squaw Valley
Both sides of our family have some camera crazy relatives! So I had this sign at our ceremony entrance plus a note in our wedding program. Did it eliminate 100% of all audiance/guest photo taking? No, but… we had almost 300 guests and I only can see one guest camera in some of our photos. So I think it was very effective. You can’t force people to not be rude or selfish, but asking nicely should eliminate some of it.
Post # 13
WOW!!! I’m so glad I came across this! Thank you so much!
Unplugged Wedding here we come!
Post # 14
Right!? Thank you, Pinterest!
Post # 15
Back in my day, no one would dare take a photo in a church. My photographer could take photos – without a flash – from the back of the sanctuary and from the balcony. The church that we were considering, which was across from my daughter’s reception venue, has the same rules (2013). The photographer must stay behind the last row of guest seating, or the balcony, and not use a flash.
For daughter #1, the unplugged ceremony was nicely stated on the website. One uncle took offense to it and argued with me at the rehearsal dinner; his wife still managed to take over 400 shots. The officiant announced it before the processional, and we had 100% compliance. The photographers/videographer were very happy. They have horror stories of missed shots, because guests block them. There was also a line in their contract that says that no one else can be taking photos while they are setting-up and taking photos. I included that line on the website.
I don’t know if it helped, but for both daughter’s weddings it was announced that guests please remain seated for the processional and recessional. All the guests complied and no one took a few steps out into the aisle, to get a photo.
For the 2nd daughter’s wedding, my husband made the announcements, prior to the processional. He thanked everyone for coming, etc. We had all but one guest comply – the FOG.
He had verbally assaulted both my huband and I at the rehearsal dinner saying “he was taking his own video of what he wanted and no one was going to stop him.” I responded that I didn’t want to pay thousands more, for photo and video editing, but it fell on deaf ears. (We hosted the wedding 100%). So instead of walking down the aisle with his wife, he walked over to another section of the ceremony room and stood with his eyes glued to his camera, throughout the whole ceremony. Our opinion of him will never change …