Post # 1
I’m in a tough spot right now. My Future Mother-In-Law has texted me stating that she doesnt know what to do about her dog. She has two. Apparently she is willing to kennel one for the trip but not the other due to emotional attachment. Yet if her dog can’t come to our wedding, she isnt sure she will.
I told her that the venue has a no pet policy and my hands are tied. But now she keeps asking me what she is supposed to do about her dog, who she is unwilling to leave unattened.
In addition to this, I have my family staying at my house the night before from the other side of the country (mother, grandmother, bridesmaids, sisters) to help me get ready as my Fiance will be at the best mans house. My Future Mother-In-Law was extended the invitation to join in with the ladies for spa/hair/nails to get ready as it was my treat. She has refused this and now wants to drive 6 hours on the day of the wedding because they (his step father, grandparents, brothers etc) are all offended that they all will not be staying at the house the night before instead of my own family and do not feel they should have to pay for a hotel even though the hotel accepts small dogs.
I refuse to board the dog for the day as she adamantly refuses to place it in a cage, I have a cat, the dog is untrained and a normal weekend visit from them results in 2 feces hidden under beds and 6 urination puddles on the carpet and my bed, as well as leather furture scratched.
Now i am made to feel guilty about both her dog not being a wedding guest and the hotel costs. Is there a proper way to address this without hurting feelings?
Post # 3
That sounds like a tough situation, what does your Fiance say about it? I would have him talk to her. She should understand that the property is not pet friendly. Does she have a neighbor or friend who can watch the dog while she attends the wedding? I would hope that her sons wedding would be important enough of an occasion to find a solution…
Post # 4
@novathecat: She sounds insane. I love my pets, but I’m well aware they’re not welcome at weddings. If it’s not a service dog, she needs to get the hell over it. If she doesn’t come, so be it. Weddings bring out the worst in some people.
Post # 5
I have literally never heard of a guest bringing their dog to the wedding. I’ve seen dogs as ring bearers and whatnot, but never at a reception.
I don’t see any reason she can’t put both dogs in the kennel. I’m quite the animal lover, so I do understand an attachment to one’s pets, but I also would never ask a bride, “Hey, my cat can come with me, right?”
I think this is the most ridiculous request I’ve ever heard a guest make. I just can’t believe the gall of this woman. Sorry, I have nothing helpful to suggest.
Post # 6
Seriously she is putting a dog in front of her son? WTF thats kinda screwed up. …
Post # 7
I have tried to speak with her but i do not want to offend. She feels entitled to have our house extended to them even if her son wont be there and places her family over mine.
As for the dog, no, not a service dog. She refuses to leave it behind, refuses to kennel it, refuses to put it in a cage and refuses to leave it in a hotel room. There is no valid reason for it aside from the dogs loud and vocal anxiety.
Post # 8
I can’t believe she is being so crazy about this dog. The fact that she’s acting neurotic about this one but not the other is weird but whatever. Stick that little shit in the smallest bathroom (put everything in there away) in your house and be done with it. If it uses the bathroom in there at least it will be an easy cleanup for her.
Post # 9
I have begged my Fiance to address it as it is his family, but they go behind his back to guilt trip me through text messages. I know he is trying to be nice as well and not saying it as sternly as it probably should.
Post # 10
@novathecat: This sounds like an issue that your Fiance should be dealing with, not you. Anytime she asks about it you should refer it to him and in turn he should say something like “If you are really willing to miss my Wedding so your dog doesn’t have to be alone for a few hours then I guess that’s just how it has to be”. She’s pushing it because she thinks you’ll cave to her.
Post # 11
This is insanity. Either she boards the dog or she doesn’t come to the wedding. What kind of person makes their dog more important than their son’s wedding day? It sounds like she’s hoping that if she pitches enough of a fit, you’ll let the family stay at yours free of charge, and she’ll be allowed to bring the dog to the ceremony. And none of that is okay.
Make sure your Fiance is on board with this, and have him talk to his mother if she won’t listen to you. You cannot be expected to keep the dog in your house unattended on your wedding day. His mother needs to board both dogs, or get a dog sitter to come stay with the problem pup, or she’s just going to have to miss out on the wedding. Period. And I’d put my foot down about this one. Weddings don’t include canine companions unless they’re service animals.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
Hahaha I’m about as “furmommy” as you can get with my dog, but just leave it at the freaking kennel with the other dog for company and they will be freaking fine. They even have those stupid pet “spa” places that charge like a 5-star hotel for the dogs of people like her.
Seriously I’m only hesitant to kennel my own dog for the honeymoon because he has escaped every boarding place we leave him at, and destroys every crate we ever leave him in.
Post # 13
@Sassygrn: I was thinking the same thing! It’s her son’s wedding. I guess it’s just too crazy for me to wrap my brain around.
Post # 14
Your Future Mother-In-Law is a nutter.
I feel bad for your Fiance that his mom might not be there, but you can’t let her just have her way on this. It’s crazy.
Post # 15
She’s being crazy. Sounds like it’s time for a little tough love. Most people don’t make exceptions like this for CHILDREN, let alone animals. And at least kids sh*t in diapers.
Why isn’t your Fiance running interference here?!
I’d photocopy a copy of something from your venue saying no pets, attach a note saying that X person in your family is allergic to dogs, and a note saying you wish she could be there but you understand her predicament and you’ll miss her the day of.
If Fiance wants his mom there, he can step up and start handling this like a man instead of letting you be the hardass. That’s not really appropriate at all and doesn’t bode well for the two of you’s future dealings with these people.
Post # 16
@novathecat: This is batshit insane. Your Fiance needs to deal with it. I’m a firm believer that everyone deals with their own insane mothers. Do NOT have the dog at your wedding. Do NOT have the dog at your house. You’re supposed to get ready for your wedding while worrying about stepping in the dog’s pee? Nope. Not an option. She can figure something out.