(Closed) No plans for rehearsal dinner

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would say yes…..that way YOU can sleep easy, knowing it’s taken care of. It’s really unfortunate that they said they’d pay but now seem to be backpeddling. 🙁

Post # 4
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If they offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, I would have Fiance do the follow up with them. Have him get a clear response from them re whether or not they still plan to do this, if so, what plans have they made, or whether they would like the two of you to plan it within their stated budget?

Post # 5
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I would go ahead and plan something casual and inexpensive without their input. If they hand you cash that day to help pay for it, awesome. If not, at least you know you’ve already got it covered.

Post # 6
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@julies1949: <

  This.  Have your Fiance check with his parents to make sure … and if they haven’t planned anything and don’t intend to, I would go ahead and plan something yourself.

Post # 7
4485 posts
Honey bee

Rehearsal dinners are casual so pizza, etc is the norm. Since they offered, have your fiance double check to see what is going on before you do anything.

Post # 8
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was on the same boat as you. One month out and his parents didn’t book anything! Turns out they thought hosting was just writing a check (not planning, decorating etc). ughhh. They had expected me to do all the work and I ended up having to do it all.

Post # 9
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

let Fiance ask them, to make sure they are still up to it.


in the mean time, you can do the planning, make a list of what are you planning to do, what would you need, so if they wont pay for it.. you have a PLAN B

Post # 10
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@SimplyChic11: This is almost exactly what happened to us. Future Mother-In-Law came to us a week ago and said she could no longer afford to the contributions she herself INSISTED on doing; Photography & Rehearsal Dinner. I told myself this would happen; she not reliable. And now I’m kicking myself, but how could I tell my Fiance “No I dont want you to rely on your parents and/or we dont need their help.” So I didnt, I figured it was one thing she couldn’t mess up too bad.

Well she did. Now we are hustling trying to find another option to provide people with a light dinner or shoot even drinks to show some appreciation, before sending them back into traffic (Rehearsal is on a Friday @ 4pm!)

We remembered one of our favorite hole in the wall Italian spots, and they offere a GREAT take out special under $100 and can feed up to 30 people! And the food is AWESOME! So that is our #1 Pick unless we find something else better and cheaper.

On top of it all, Future Mother-In-Law said NOT to invite her if we chose to do any food/restaurant for the Rehearsal. /sigh. So concerned what she looks/appears to others; but it wasn’t enough to follow through for her son.

I guess Im just being protective and bummed on behalf of Fiance since he wont allow himself too, he just feels “sorry” for her and what shes “going through”; another story for another day!

I hope your situation gets resolved and your able to do SOMETHING even if you make Spaghetti or a Frozen Lasagna and salad! or Appetizers or Desserts? We were open to doing that too! Still are if money is tight. Nothing like homecookin!

Best of LucK! Sorry for rambling on your post!

Post # 11
1699 posts
Bumble bee

I hate to pass judgement on a lady I have never met, but from all your posts I have come to the conclusion that your future mother in law is somewhat less than refined.

You see, to host people to dinner is an honour; and all the moreso is it an honour to host a dear son’s most intimate friends on the eve of his marriage. A hostess who is entitled to that sort of honour should be knocking on your door to ensure herself that you — her primary guest of honour — will accept the invitation. By failing to step up and issue the necessary invitation — to YOU — I’m afraid your future mother in law has lost her perogative. So sad.

Well, my dear, it is still an honour to host such a dinner, even if you are hosting your own and your betrothed’s best friends rather than your son’s. Congratulations: smile and be charming. And invite your future mother-in-law, so that she can observe how a lady of refinement does things.

Post # 12
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@aspasia475: ITA! =) Show her that your man got a REAL woman!

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