No plus 1 for single people?

posted 7 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

It’s pretty standard to forego a +1 for people who aren’t in established relationships. If you have someone traveling to your wedding, however, it’s definitely nice (though not expected) to offer them a +1. 

Post # 3
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

overthemoon2018 :  We didn’t give plus ones to our single friends, didn’t seem to be a problem.

ETA When I’ve been single and invited to weddings, I wasn’t given a plus one either and didn’t care.

Post # 5
Member
930 posts
Busy bee

Depends on if there is traveling involved. i know many ppl may not necessarily bring some ‘date’, but maybe a friend that they can spend the night with as bride and groom are usually busy throughout the day/night. 

A plus 1 may be nice if they wont have ppl they really know or are super comfortable with. 

Post # 6
Member
3393 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Hahaha you’ve opened yourself a can of worms with this one. There tend to be some pretty strong views about plus ones on this site .

Personally, I don’t think there is anything at all wrong with not extending plus ones. I think the whole concept is strange – you’re basically giving people carte blanche to invite random strangers to your wedding, which is supposed to be an emotionally intimate event to some degree (even if it is a large guest list), which I think is just weird. 

I much prefer to invite all guests by name – so established couples are invited as a unit with both names on the invitation, and no one is given a “plus one”. Should anyone’s relationship status change significantly between now and then, I don’t think there is anything wrong with them simply asking if you’d be willing to add their new partner to the list, as long as they’re not pushy about it and understand if the answer is no. 

That’s basically what my fiance and I have decided we are gonna do when it comes time to send invites. We have a couple of friends that are currently assumed to be single but if that changes in the meantime we will try to be flexible. 

Post # 7
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

I extended a plus one to everyone, including known singles, to my wedding.  I can’t tell you how many people reached out specifically to thank us for for that additional invite.  I would make sure your bridal party and all family, at least, are offered a plus one. 

Post # 9
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

I personally would offer plus ones to friends who have to travel far, and they won’t have a friend group there. Single family members, even if they have to travel? Nah. I have some social anxiety and would worry about going to a wedding alone and not knowing anyone, so I probably wouldn’t attend without one. 

Post # 10
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

We are not giving plus ones to our single friends. Our guest list is capped at 100 people per our venue capacity. In fact, FH and his family are going to have to make some tough decisions on their side as to who gets an invitation at all. His family is pretty big… so some aunts, uncles, and cousins will be left out entirely. 

I don’t understand when bees get all up in arms about plus ones. This is your day and your money. For some people giving everyone a plus one could add 20 or more people to their guest list (adding up to $2,000 or more to the budget). I say don’t give the plus ones to single people. Sit single friends together and single family with relatives and it’ll be fine. 

Post # 11
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

I was a bridesmaid in a friends wedding and didn’t get a plus one. I understood budget and all that but- it would have been nice. I knew a few people- not that well. And when trying to start a conversation they went off in their own clique and left me behind. 

I ended up hanging out at the bar. Few free drinks here and there. 

For me it was the most boring wedding I’ve attended. 

Post # 12
Member
2794 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It depends if the single person is part of a friendship group / families that are invited (therefore know other ppl at the wedding)

if so then no plus one, but then plus one ransoms aren’t the norm here.

Post # 13
Member
13594 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I personally find it rude to not give single adults the opportunity to bring a guest.  Especially if they don’t know a LOT of other people there – and of those, other single people, because the couples will be dancing with each other.  

I don’t want to celebrate someone else’s love by being lonely, TBH.

Post # 14
Member
3446 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I gave plus ones to single people who were going to know less than 5 other guests at the wedding. Anyone who knew 5 or more guests didn’t get one. And a number of people we gave plus ones to didn’t even use it.

I’m fine going to weddings alone. I’m fully capable of socializing with other adults for a couple of hours without it being an issue. 

Post # 15
Member
2811 posts
Sugar bee

 

Most single people were coming in groups of friends or family so I just addressed their envelope directly to them. But I gave a couple of +1 to people that didn’t have a ‘crew’ to go with. Most didn’t use it. 

A lot of our friends were single though too so they wouldn’t really feel like the odd person out. I think if there were only a few single people I would offer a plus one because that can feel a little weird. 

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