No plus 1 for single people?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 61
30 posts

I do believe that most posters understand that rules of etiquette vary by region and culture. They also vary by upbringing. I was taught that when people make an effort to attend your party, they should find the experience celebratory. Prioritize people over place and make sure your guests enjoy themselves.

Maybe the question isn’t “who is right” but rather “who is kind?”


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anonymousbee001 :  

Post # 62
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - California

I never got a plus one when I was single. After I got into a relationship, my bf (now DH) was always invited by name, as opposed to my getting a plus one. I think it varies from wedding to wedding but I was never offended at not having a plus one when I was single. That being said, I would guess it is easier when the single people know other people at the wedding, and that was generally the case at weddings that I attended, so I never felt like I was alone or didn’t know anyone. 

Post # 63
1678 posts
Bumble bee

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weddingbelle1 :  I do think it varies by upbringing, but I would also hope that people would be raised such that they can find an event enjoyable and celebratory even attending without a plus one. Additionally, it is entirely likely that people who choose not to reflexively invite SOs are prioritzing people over place.

With respect to asking “what is kind?”, it would be kinder not to judge or impose one’s beliefs on other people’s choices and weddings. While people may choose to limit the guest list for financial reasons, it is often true that they choose to do so for cultural reasons and because it has implications on the tone and intimacy of their wedding. I do think it would be kinder, also, not to jump to the conclusion that another’s wedding choices has any impact on one’s own relationship.

Post # 64
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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overthemoon2018 :  I would say maybe spare a thought for any of your singles who are old/disabled, travelling a far way, or won’t know anyone else at the wedding.

Other than that I think there’s no need for a +1

Post # 65
32 posts
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Australia

In Australia, it’s common practice to not give a plus one to single people. Though, if there’s room in the budget, it’s sometimes done, just not expected!

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