Post # 1
Hello there bees, I just wanted to run something by really quick:
Is it ok for me to not have my guests bring guests?
This is more on MY list rather than my parent’s list and my future family-in-law’s list. I have a lot of single friends, and I felt it would be cheaper to just invite those friends and not allow them to bring a guest with them. Unfortunately this is even the case with friends who have recently started dating people.
I’m allowing some of my friends to bring their SOs because 1) I know them personally 2) they’ve been together a LONG time/or are getting married soon too. I’m also not even sending them a +1 either, I’m just sending one invitation for the couple, since most are living together.
Now, one of my friends, who I will say I haven’t seen in over a year–just started dating someone. She’s a childhood friend and I’d really like for her and her mother to come to the wedding. I have a feeling she might be offended or call to ask why I didn’t allow her to have a guest? It’s not like I’m singling her out, I want her to be at my wedding but I just can’t afford to have her bring a guest, cause if that happens, well, you know, then everyone will get a guest. Plus, who knows if she will even still be dating this boy by the time October rolls around.
Am I in the wrong? I’m assuming it’s pretty simple and that people should understand that we’re on a budget, but who knows. Thanks, guys!
Post # 3
Nope you are totally within your rights to not give her a guest. At our wedding you only got a plus one if you were living together or married/engaged. No exceptions.
Post # 4
i did the exact same thing!
No plus ones EXCEPT –
– engaged couples
– my cousin who is living with his Girlfriend
– and couples where we have a relationship with BOTH people
our wedding isn’t the venue to bring ur “flavor of the month”.. lol so we’ve been REALLY strict on that!
as well as no kids.. lol wish us luck.. invitations go out next week!
Post # 5
It’s totally fine, as long as there are clear lines…
i.e. only engaged and living together
Just don’t let lines blur 🙂 We’re doing the same thing with plus ones and kids.
Post # 6
I think it’s ok as long as there are other people there that won’t have plus ones.
I might be in the minority here, but I think it is awkward/unfair not to allow a guest to bring a date IF nearly all your friends/relatives are married/engaged in a serious relationship and are therefore allowed to bring +1s . . and there are like one or two guests that have to go solo b/c they aren’t in serious enough relationships.
Post # 7
personally, part of the “tradition” of going to a friends wedding is the bringing a date part. i know we are all trying to keep our budgets down and all that, but its not too much fun if you’re the dateless friend sitting at a table with a bunch of people you dont know very well. i know its stupid, but i know people who wouldnt even go to the wedding if it was going to akward wihtout their date.
we’re inviting a decend amount of friends, but rather than inviting everyone we know, we’re keeping our friends list down so we can accomodate their dates.
Post # 8
Thanks guys! I appreciate it! I’m happy to hear it, it’s puts my stress levels at normal for the time being 🙂
Angela: Yeah, I understand, and she definitely won’t be the only one there without a date. Let me see…only about 6 of my close friends are bringing someone who they live with/or are engaged to, and two of those groups are not, but I know them both and I’m friends with both. So 6 out of the 36 on my list are bringing someone.
Clair: Yeah, I totally understand! I definitely don’t want to offend anyone. I understand being the dateless friend sitting at a table of people you don’t know, but to make light of the situation, she’ll be surrounded by her friends as well, some of them also dateless. I’m not sure, plus this is the 3rd guy this year she’s dated, so maybe I’m overthinking and paranoid. I’ll definitely mull it over, maybe I can figure something out.
Thanks so much everyone!!