Post # 1
I know people have different opinions on whether it is ok to not invite guests with a plus one. But, I’m fine with it. Anyway, I’m trying make clear whether people can bring a guest (I’ve heard too many stories of poeple just adding a guests name without getting a plus one)
I have seen the suggestion to put something like, “we have reserved # seat(s) in your honor” or “__ out of # guest(s) will attend” (with the # being filled out by hand by me).
What do people think about that tactic? Does it come of as weird, like I didn’t put “and guest” on the invite, I’m just rubbing it in now.
Post # 3
I think that’s fine, I just didnt do “and guest” and it turned into a nightmare of people adding on! I would totally do “___ of # accepts/regrets” if I could do it over again.
Post # 4
I did the _ of # will attend and it worked wonderfully (in addition to listing each guest’s name on the inner envelope). I did have 2 guests ask if they could bring someone, but if I hadn’t put that line I don’t think they would have even thought to ask, so it was very helpful. I think that route is being clear without being rude at all. And I’m super thankful to the Bee who blogged about this idea and numbering the back of the reply cards because if it weren’t for WB I wouldn’t have thought of this!
Post # 5
If I’ve learned anything in wedding planning, it’s: NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!
The more clear and question-free you can make things for people, the better.
I used both methods (the # of seats reserved on the RSVP card, and the clear wording of names on the envelope) and I STILL had questions from people asking if their child was invited…..
Post # 6
I agree with the language and will be doing that myself. I also agree that I never would have thought about numbering my response cards if it weren’t for this site! Awesome idea!
Post # 7
Thanks! I appreciate all the feedback– I was just worried that single guests might think I was being really agressive about not allowing them to bring a date when I wrote a big “1” for them… but, it seems like it’s a better tactic to take than having them just assume they can bring a date.
Post # 8
we did “We have reserved __ seats in your honor” and it seemed to work just fine! Didnt have anyone bring a guest that wasnt invited or even try to do so by writing the name in!
Post # 9
I also did we have reserved _ seats & then _ out of _ will attend so far no add ins
Post # 10
@AEMalmostK: We thought about the singles with a 1 being a little uncomfortable too, especially when we wrote one for my Grandma on my Dad’s side who is now a widow (widower? I never know). But better to be clear and upfront than risk it.
Post # 11
we just had it marked by the names on the envelope, and had only 1 person ask about a guest. and, it was an out of town bridesmaid, so totally a legit question for her to ask
Post # 12
Please, please, learn from the nightmare I am currently in right now: DO NOT PUT A NUMBER ATTENDING and then a blank line on the invite. I am eating my words as I speak. I have found that people who have ZERO sense of etiquette (or people who simply don’t care) are viewing that little blank as a free for all and I’m currently having to say “okay, fine” to letting 8 uninvited guests come and that number is STILL growing. It’s to the point where we can’t afford, or seat them all. I agree with the ___ seats in your honor or the __ out of __ attending. If I could go back in time and fix mine to say either one of those, I DEFINITELY would. Good luck!
Post # 13
I jsut didn’t put “and guest” on the envelope, and was only asked by one person to bring a guest that wasn’t intended to have one. And really it was my issue, because I didn’t realize he had a long term girlfriend, and had extended a guest to his sister in the exact same situation.
Post # 14
There are ___1__ seat(s) reserved in your honor.
Post # 15
We did “__ out of # guest(s) will be in attendance” and we haven’t gotten any unexpected plus ones yet. I thought it was best to be clear.
Post # 16
@AEMalmostK: We’re doing the “We’ve reserved ___ seat(s) in your honor. ___ of ___ guest(s) will attend” thing. I don’t think it’s rude at all!