(Closed) No Politics Rule

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d just avoid mentioning it all together. I feel like forbidding it will just make people more inclined to talk, you know?

Post # 4
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

While I can appreciate the sentiment (particularly since my wedding is in what is colloquially known as the "Redneck Riviera" and my politics leans decidedly in the non-Redneck direction), do you honestly believe you have any right to control what your guests talk about? 

Post # 5
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I agree with Caroline. It seems a bit silly to limit discussions of your guests. The definition of a guest is "a visitory to whom hospitality is extended" … that doesn’t seem very hospitable. <font size=”-1″></font>

 

Post # 6
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I agree.  Let people discuss what they want.  I think it’s really rude to require that conversation be directed (or not) towards any particular topic. 

Post # 7
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I have no suggestions. I just wanted to say that I have a no politics rule for myself all the time. I hate talking politics with people, it’s a never ending battle, no one is ever right and with me being military its a sensitive subject. No matter if I like who gets choosen for president they are still my commander in chief.

Post # 8
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I agree with the other posters.   If I were invited to a wedding and was requested to not talk about certain subjects, I would be insulted.  It would feel like the bride and groom didn’t trust me to be an adult and have mature, respectful conversations with their guests.  Also, I agree that you don’t have the right to say what people can and can not talk about, even if it IS your wedding.

 My advice is to just trust that your guests are adult enough to handle it and agree to disagree if need be.  Hopefully since it’s your wedding, that will be the dominant topic of conversation anyway, even if people are fired up about the impending election.  If you think there are a couple people who genuinely won’t be able to keep their opinions to themselves and be respectful about it, maybe find a way to speak to them directly about it before your big day?

Post # 9
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

It sounds like you’ve already decided you will enforce this rule? While I don’t think it’s the best idea, I won’t say too much. In terms of suggestions, the quarter idea is cute. I would urge you to keep it light, casual and more just for fun.

But again like others have said, in some ways, you are drawing more attention to the subject by even having the rule. So please consider that before enforcing it!

Post # 11
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Are you having a really small group of guests?  Because otherwise, I don’t see how this is going to work.  We had 130 (not huge) and honestly, I have no idea what most of the guests talked about most of the night.  However, I hope that they talked about things that were interesting to them – whether that was work, or politics, or their kids, or their hobbies.

I think that most people will, in a purely social situation and with people they don’t know well, try to keep conversation light.  However, if they don’t – you can’t really do anything about it.  And honestly – if I was your guest – I first of all wouldn’t have any change on me.  And I don’t sing on demand.  While I’m not inclined to talk about politics anyway (my views are nobody’s business, and I don’t believe you will ever change anyone’s mind by arguing with them) I would be offended if you tried to tell me what I could and couldn’t talk about.  I would vote for keeping censorship to a minimum.  Let your guests talk about whatever they want.  Those guests who don’t want to talk politics can change the subject or just walk away.

Post # 12
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Alright, alright people. She asked for some fun ways to maintain non-political talk…

Ahem!

I went to an Airforce function with a friend of mine. And basically the games they played that night was to maintain light heartedness despite the nature of their jobs in the logistics/sattelite placement over unfriendly territories and away from ‘politics’. So they had various games. One was to come up with Rhymes.

Each table had blank index cards and a pencil. If someone said a taboo word (which was announced at the begining of the function, you would know if the word was said because other tables would rat them out) They would be asked to write a rhyme about the hosts and hostesses (in good fun- the hosts were usually one of various logistical teams from the airforce: i.e. the pilots versus engineers) Then a ‘representative from the table would go to a microphone to read it out loud, and if the Rhyme from the table wasn’t good enough the reader of the index card was asked to swig a drink then place the cup they drank from upside down over their heads. I am sure you don’t want you guests to do that part- but maybe you can make them do something silly if a taboo topic came up? Make up some sort of variation to this game.

I hope that helps in SOME way! =0) If the friggin Airforce can do it- and make light of tough times, you can too.

 

Post # 13
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

If I went to an event where they forbade me to talk about a subject, I would be really irritated.  I would also be *more* likely to talk about it.

I think you should trust that people will be adults, and if those people don’t want to talk about politics, they can just say so to the people they’re talking with.  If there are individuals that have you worried, talk to them before the event, but don’t make it a big deal at the party.  

Post # 14
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

SoloDucki – I love that you are so concerned with your guests feeling comfortable.  Might I suggest a really fun way to keep the conversation off of this?  I work with high-power executives and have them in front of the press for long lengths of time.  One event would have executives with journalists in a car for almost 8 hours driving across the desert. We had an executive that when he didn’t know what to say would often start talking about hot issues like politics – NOT what you want them doing with a journalist that could print these comments. 

So, we made these little conversation starter cards…and we really had fun with it.  A lot of them had to do with fun, lighthearted conversation:  Been to any great movies lately?  Don’t you think the Smurfs should be brought back on air?  Aren’t gummy bears the best candy ever? …  completely silly yes.  But we handed them out to everyone and they all laughed a little and read them off because they were so funny.  Then they made up their own silly questions.

Anyway, maybe you could have fun "conversation starter" cards at each place setting with some fun things like this.  You don’t have to say "no politics" because they’ll be laughing over your wacky ideas (which you can totally play off your own personalities with) and probably using them!

Just a thought…good luck whatever you do!  🙂

 

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