(Closed) no present or even a card from some of our guests!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think there is much you can do in good taste.

We had several guests skip the gift and/or the card, but the past is in the past. It’s annoying and odd, to me at least, but there really is no good way to go about that.

Post # 4
Member
5400 posts
Bee Keeper

 The purpose of a wedding isn’t to get free shit. There is no way to sneakily let them know you’re pissed. Unless you want to be passive aggressive, which is immature. 

Post # 5
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just drop it. There’s no appropriate way to inform these guests of your “dissapointment”. Technically they have time to give you a gift but even if they don’t, there’s nothing that you can do about it. 

Post # 6
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BlondeMissMolly: since I didn’t know how to say this kindly, I’ll second this.

Post # 7
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Not much can be done. There’s no “sneaky” way to tell them you’re pissed. It’s been nearly 2 months though, really just let it go. You’ll feel better once you’re not holding on to resentment.

Post # 8
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@BlondeMissMolly: I have to third this.

No one is obligated to give you ANYTHING. Gifts are not mandetory.

Post # 9
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think saying anything will be poor form on your part. The gifts and cards are a bonus not a requirement. The 2nd cousins should have gotten their own invitations if they are older than 16. Maybe they felt like being passive aggressive over that faux pas? Just try to be happy that the people who matter to you came. If your photographer is somebody you know, as you’ve said, maybe she didn’t give a gift because she is discounting your photo cost…. That’s a huge gift right there if that’s the case. 

There was one bee who had a ton of people at her wedding and only recieved gifts/cards from less than ten people. It could be worse…

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I want to sneakily let them know that we are upset and very dissapointed in them without being nasty or them knowing we are pointing the finger.

dont – just dont

as far as your photographer is concerned, you paid her so she is a vendor and vendors do not bring gifts

Post # 11
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@UpstateCait: Yep. 

OP they have a year from your wedding to buy you a gift if they WANT to.

Post # 12
Member
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have to agree – although I was slightly irked that some guests hadn’t even gotten a card (one even called me the night before and asked if he could bring a guest, even after he’d declined a +1) there is absolutely nothing you can do about it without looking like a selfish brat.  Our day was amazing, we’re happy that everyone came to celebrate, and we’re married so that’s what’s important.

Post # 14
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with pp’s. 

And you really shouldn’t be mad at all at the guest with the belated gift (and why would you include the fact that the gift was small; it’s the thought not the size that counts. what if they are tight on cash?)

Post # 15
Member
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Really?  No one is obligated to get you a present.  If that’s the only reason you invited people to your wedding, then that’s more tacky than not bringing a gift.  Be grateful for the love shown to you on your special day.  That’s more than enough.

Post # 16
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I understand where you’re coming from if it’s not the present itself but the lack of sentiment that you’re upset about. As a guest, I would give a card at the very least.

But I don’t think there is a way to tactfully bring it up, so just be happy that they were there to celebrate your day and try to let it go.

The topic ‘no present or even a card from some of our guests!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors