Post # 1
Need some ideas people!
There were a handful of people at our wedding who were lame enough to not give a present or even a card! I want to sneakily let them know that we are upset and very dissapointed in them without being nasty or them knowing we are pointing the finger. Any ideas??
We invited 3 of our 2nd cousins (they are all siblings) on the same invtation. only one let us know if they were actually coming to the wedding, the other 2 rocked up. only the one gave us a card and very small gift. (and it was belated) and nothing at all from the other 2.
Now the other was our photographer, obviously she thought we were only inviting her because she was doing the photos???! But we invited her and her boyfriend (who is our cousin) It wasn’t as if we had to invite her just to do the photos because we paid her top dollar and paid her to take photos of the reception and everything (which she hardly got any photos of). i was not impressed with this photographer at the best of times and we still have to organise our album through her. blehh.
So anyway I am very upset about it and I want them to know that I don’t agree with what they done (or didn’t do in this case) Just a card would have passed the test!
Post # 3
I don’t think there is much you can do in good taste.
We had several guests skip the gift and/or the card, but the past is in the past. It’s annoying and odd, to me at least, but there really is no good way to go about that.
Post # 4
The purpose of a wedding isn’t to get free shit. There is no way to sneakily let them know you’re pissed. Unless you want to be passive aggressive, which is immature.
Post # 5
Just drop it. There’s no appropriate way to inform these guests of your “dissapointment”. Technically they have time to give you a gift but even if they don’t, there’s nothing that you can do about it.
Post # 6
@BlondeMissMolly: since I didn’t know how to say this kindly, I’ll second this.
Post # 7
Not much can be done. There’s no “sneaky” way to tell them you’re pissed. It’s been nearly 2 months though, really just let it go. You’ll feel better once you’re not holding on to resentment.
Post # 8
@BlondeMissMolly: I have to third this.
No one is obligated to give you ANYTHING. Gifts are not mandetory.
Post # 9
I think saying anything will be poor form on your part. The gifts and cards are a bonus not a requirement. The 2nd cousins should have gotten their own invitations if they are older than 16. Maybe they felt like being passive aggressive over that faux pas? Just try to be happy that the people who matter to you came. If your photographer is somebody you know, as you’ve said, maybe she didn’t give a gift because she is discounting your photo cost…. That’s a huge gift right there if that’s the case.
There was one bee who had a ton of people at her wedding and only recieved gifts/cards from less than ten people. It could be worse…
Post # 10
I want to sneakily let them know that we are upset and very dissapointed in them without being nasty or them knowing we are pointing the finger.
dont – just dont
as far as your photographer is concerned, you paid her so she is a vendor and vendors do not bring gifts
Post # 11
OP they have a year from your wedding to buy you a gift if they WANT to.
Post # 12
I have to agree – although I was slightly irked that some guests hadn’t even gotten a card (one even called me the night before and asked if he could bring a guest, even after he’d declined a +1) there is absolutely nothing you can do about it without looking like a selfish brat. Our day was amazing, we’re happy that everyone came to celebrate, and we’re married so that’s what’s important.
Post # 13
@takemyhand: there’s no nice way unfortunately. I am not usually so blunt.
Post # 14
I agree with pp’s.
And you really shouldn’t be mad at all at the guest with the belated gift (and why would you include the fact that the gift was small; it’s the thought not the size that counts. what if they are tight on cash?)
Post # 15
Really? No one is obligated to get you a present. If that’s the only reason you invited people to your wedding, then that’s more tacky than not bringing a gift. Be grateful for the love shown to you on your special day. That’s more than enough.
Post # 16
I understand where you’re coming from if it’s not the present itself but the lack of sentiment that you’re upset about. As a guest, I would give a card at the very least.
But I don’t think there is a way to tactfully bring it up, so just be happy that they were there to celebrate your day and try to let it go.