(Closed) No Proposal But Engaged?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My parents did it this way. I asked my mom how my dad proposed to her and she was like…”well, we just kinda had a conversation and decided to get married”

I was like….Oh, ok! lol

Post # 4
671 posts
Busy bee

This was exactly how my parents got married too ๐Ÿ™‚ Thirty years later they are still as happy as can be. When we were children we weren’t very impressed by the story though! (As an adult I appreciate it a lot more.) A strong foundation doesn’t mean a ring or a “proposal” from one person to another – it means making the right decision for you as a couple! I got the ring and the proposal, but Fi seemed to want that more than me (I think so then he could get out of planning the wedding – he’s done his part). I think proposals are getting more common now than they were say 30 years ago, it’s like we’ve moved back to being more old fashioned.

Post # 5
2 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

Another parent story to add to the mix. My Mum and Dad worked together. Dad said to Mum one day, “so when’s the wedding?” and they made a date. Then they went and got a ring made for Mum that she liked. The rest is history I guess!

Post # 6
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

thats how my parents did it too!!  28 years later and they’re still married.  i think we all have that conversation about getting married, then some have a “formal” proposal and some don’t!  congrats by the way!

Post # 7
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My parents too!  I asked my mom how my dad proposed one time and she said it was lame, he just kind of said, “ok, well, should we go buy a ring?”  And she was like, “Umm, are you proposing to me?”  Knowing my mom I’m actually surprised she didn’t make him do it again. They will have been married for 30 years next summer.

The fancy proposal must be more of a recent thing!  

Post # 8
3605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i had no proposal and i make fun of it to hubby… lets just say him telling me he was going to buy me a ring and we were going to get married is a little bit R rated but here we are… married and happy and he still hasnt asked me to be his wife ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
442 posts
Helper bee

There was no big proposal for me either. He casually asked me over and over for months, but no ring. By the time he bought my ring, he just handed it to me. No romance at all. lol. I don’t mind.

Post # 10
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

lol, you’re like the charlotte/trey plot.  “I suggested we get married, and he said ‘okie dokie'”…..

i think it’s really common.  a lot of people make this huge decision…shocker…RATIONALLY!  through a conversation and a mutual decision that this is the next best step in their relationship.  don’t worry about it ๐Ÿ™‚

and hey, you can always just tell your kids he proposed in front of tiffany’s ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 11
5280 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

My son’s father and I decided to get married as well. It felt right at the time.  We broke up after that, but it had nothing to do with the way we decided to get married or anything like that.  We had different goals in life.  I definitely think that it’s a cool way to get married.  The proposal and surprise are nice, but I’d love to have the control.. However M is a traditionalist so I’ll have the surprise etc. and I am happy to make him happy with it.

Post # 13
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That’s how my parents got engaged, basically!  At Christmas my Dad gave my mom a record and a ring, except that it was a surprise to nobody, since they’d discussed getting married beforehand.  And they were babies!  My mother was barely 20 and they handled it with such maturity! 

Post # 14
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

my parents didn’t have a real proposal either! they always just say that they knew they were getting married. it was really important to my fi to propose, but by the time he did, we had already talked about it so much that it was really a formality. a wonderful, totally surprising, amazing story to tell, but still–we were already engaged, for all intents and purposes!

Post # 15
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2022

My FH and I decided to get married a while back, but I didn’t want to become “engaged” until I got an engagement ring (is that wrong?).  So when he bought me a ring, he called me up from the jewelry store, and said, “Hey hun, so hypothetical here.  If I was hypothetically in a hypothetical jewelry store, and hypothetically I was holding two hypothetical rings, hypothetically which one would you choose? [insert description of two beautiful rings]”  I told him that “hypotheticall” I’d want him to choose and surprise me.  When I got home that night, he did in fact get down on one knee, and started the proposal, but completely forgot to ask him if I wanted to marry him.  He asked if I wanted to see the rings!  (bridal set)  Keep in mind this was in our messy kitchen right next to the litter box.

He’s too funny, and I love him to death.  So when it comes to “normal proposals” I don’t think we’re up there.  Especially because I was already planning the wedding before he bought me a ring!  Wink

Post # 16
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

maybe because  I am the age of most of your moms our decision went the same way, no candy and flowers just every week he would say “when should we get married”

I would say “lets see- after final divorce papers, after bills are paid, after your colonoscopy, after, after, after, after.”  Finally he kidnapped me and drove to  David’s Bridal on a rainy saturday afternoon and “forced” me to try on wedding dresses. When he said “you have to marry me in that ONE” and got teary eyed I said ok.  Of course then came the issues of where, when etc.  So as interim we are having an awsome engagement party this Sunday.  I hope to have some pixs to share.


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