(Closed) No Proposal But Engaged?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 61
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

I find that for many couples I know, the proposal is just a formality that allows them to put it on Facebook and therefore make it official. Well before the guy buys a ring and gets down on one knee, many couples not only talk about getting married in the vague future, but actually plan out their engagement. For eample, I’ve heard friends be like “well, we didn’t want to be engaged during her last semester, so we decided to wait until summer. Some even do “pre-engagement” counseling (which from what I gather is basically just standard pre-marital counseling but before it is official). It all kinda lets the cat out of the bag In My Humble Opinion.

Post # 62
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
metalsandman999:  we did pre-marital counseling before we were officially engaged as well. I don’t know how surprised I was to get a proposal since we had been talking about and planning our wedding for years. It was just a matter of when I was going to get the ring.

Post # 63
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

Christmas morning I’m at home with my boyfriend (at the time…now fiance) and mom, opening presents. He’d made all these silly puns on the gift tags (he knows I have a love/hate relationship with puns lol), and this one box said “To my ‘precious’ Cassandra”. I had mentioned Precious Moments figures to him as something I’d love, so I assumed he’d got me a small figurine. I unwrapped it to find a ring box, and when I opened that, my ring was in there. I looked up at him and he just had this stupid grin on his face, not saying anything. Then I looked at my mom, and she goes “I don’t know what kind of ring that is”. So I walked over to my boyfriend, sat down on his lap, and said “So honey, what kind of ring is this?” He goes “well I guess it’s the kind you get before you get married”. Of course I start bawling. Last Christmas we’d got into a fight and I cried, so he just looks at me crying, then turns to my mom and goes “look, I made her cry two Christmas in a row!”

So not super romantic, but I love the man 🙂

Post # 64
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It happened this way with me and my first husband. My bf and his first wife too. How about this? We aren’t “officially” engaged, but we set a date. lol! He told me almost right away he wants to marry me, but every time we’ve talked about it, we joke “Are you asking?” because this time, he does want to ask in a special way. 

Post # 65
Member
3702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

My SO and I just talked about this over the last few days. We decided to skip a formal proposal because we have both agreed that we want to get married and I didn’t want the bended knee scene. We’ve already picked out venues (we have a traditional wedding venue and an eloping venue as we haven’t decided which route to go) and a general time to get married (March 2018). We’re going to look at rings together and once we get the engagement ring in hand, I’ll pop it on and we’ll be “officially” engaged. I’m happy we’re doing it this way. I know it’s not for everyone, but for us it’s been pressure free and fun!

Post # 66
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2017

We had talked about it a lot, then one day a local jewelry store was having a going out of business sale. He asked me if I wanted to go look at rings and we each ended up finding one that we liked. We started out calling them commitment or promise rings because we didn’t think we were going to have a ceremony. A couple months later we decided that we did want a ceremony, and we were started saying we were engaged.

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