Post # 1
Hi..I’m new here….I have a question… My SO and I are both 50. He has been married twice and has kids…. I have been married once and have grown children. I moved in with him 2 years ago. He said he wanted to get married. He was newly divorced at the time. So fast forward 2 years later…..no proposal, we don’t sleep together when his kids are with us (half the time). I have brought marriage up on more than one occasion, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Even if we lived as a “normal” couple, that would be a first step.
I will admit that I respected his decision to not sleep together when the kids were there, but I thought it was only going to be temporary. The kids have known me for 10 years. I’m not a stranger. They are 13, 16 and 20. During those 10 years our relationship was on and off..during the off time he married someone, but it only lasted for a year.
Post # 3
@stillwaiting123: Hello! My advice for you is to sit down with him and actually have a conversation. Not the I want to get married. Like tell him what you just said how you have been around with his kids long enough and you want to take the next step.
Post # 4
Can i ask why you dont sleep in the same room when his children are around? That seems odd to me if they know you are his partner. But i agree i think you and him should sit down and talk everything through, be honest with your feelings
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY
@Steph18: I think she might mean sleep together not sleep together. lol 😉
Post # 6
sorry… he married someone ELSE during a breakup with you?
With admittedly limited knowledge of your relationship I’d say it sounds like you’re good enough in his eyes to keep around as a roommate and occaisonal sexual partner, but not as a “life” partner. You need to sit him down and have this uncomfortable conversation because 50 is too old to be girlishly skating around something like this… and far FAR too young to waste another day on a man who doesn’t think you’re the one.
Post # 7
@stillwaiting123: It’s quite concerning to me that he married someone while you two were “off” yet has all this history with you and won’t commit.
Post # 8
@Jilliebean1: oh. haha dont i feel dumb. That i understand more
Post # 9
From what I can gather, he seems to not want to fully incorporate you into his life. It sounds to me like he might not appreciate you, and take for granted the fact that you’ll always be around. I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum or nag him about marriage. I think he knows that you want to get married but is putting it off for some reason. I’d get busy with other things in my life, and make myself less available. If he still doesn’t come around I’d move on.