- 3 years ago
Ok. Let me just start by saying I am WELL AWARE you don’t need to validate why you aren’t going to a wedding. It’s not expected and it’s not something to get upset over if every person doesn’t give you a why.
That being said, we have a few friends who we were kind of shocked by their “not attending” responses. We were even more shocked by their lack of reason. One of them actually didn’t RSVP at all.
If it were some rando person or a distant relative, I wouldn’t have thought twice. BUT..
1. One girl had a crush on my now Darling Husband in college. She objected when we started dating and told him how she thought THEY should be together, not us. Awkwardd…anyway. He invited her because we sometimes still see her around and we have no problem when we hang out. She is part of one of our social “groups” so it made sense. She has had a serious Boyfriend or Best Friend for over 3 years. I would assume she was well over him. When she RSVPd No, my Darling Husband just chuckled. Like he knew why. I was kind of annoyed, because I am now assuming she isn’t over him (but I don’t want to assume anything, of course).
2. One of my good friends i’ve had since JH just said No. no explanation or anything. Even my other friends were shocked. Her wedding is in May, so I am anxious to see if I get a Save the Date in the next few weeks.
3. The one that kills me is my BEST Friend since college. He is a guy….the awkward guy you kind of have one of those “why don’t you just date already” relationships with in college. I basically turned him down by starting to date my Darling Husband. We have stayed close and hung out many times since then. He got a gf soon after I started dating my Darling Husband and has been with her ever since (4+ years!). But when they first got together, he made it very obvious at times he would rather be with me than with her. To the point of awkwardness in public. It has been much better since we graduated.
So I sent him an invite because we have stayed good friends. My Darling Husband has never had an issue with us hanging out or him. But he never RSVPd. I thought ok, maybe it got lost in the mail. So I texted him asking if he got it or even my STD. It said “read”. No response. I texted him again a few days later asking if he was even alive, no response. WTF. I am extremely puzzled and at this point hurt that he wouldn’t even respond. If he didn’t want to come, he could have at least made up a lie about being busy or something. Don’t just leave me hanging. Because now I feel like that relationship is just over.
The most frustrating part is I know you don’t have to give a reason. But it is the curtious thing to do this day in age. I know if I were good friends with the bride or groom, I would either write on the RSVP or at least send them a text saying “hey sorry i can’t make it! I wish I could be there!”…which most of our non-attendees did.
Am I just taking this too personal or am i right in this being kinda weird? Don’t be too harsh, here….