(Closed) No receiving line – how to tell guests?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 1
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

The wedding is one week from today!  EEK!  🙂

Ok, bees.  I need advice.

Our ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception are all at the same location: Longue Vue Club in Verona, PA.  The outdoor ceremony is on one end of the white terrace (fancy name for patio), while the cocktail hour is at the opposite end of the white terrace.  The reception is inside, in the ballroom, directly off of the white terrace.

Fiance and I are choosing not to do a receiving line.  After the ceremony, we would like a way to indicate to the guests that they should move to cocktail hour (other end of white terrace) while we take some formal family portraits near the “altar.”  My mom uses a walker to help her get around and can’t stand for long periods of time, so asking her to wait aroudn to do family portraits is ridiculous, which is the main reason we are saying NO RECEIVING LINE and we are stead-fast on that.  (Immediately following formal family portraits, the wedding party will move around the grounds to take photos, while our families will move to cocktail hour).
 
What we don’t want happening is guests lingering after the ceremony and trying to take their own photos while our photog is shooting our formal family portraits (I can see disasters happening here…everyone looking at different cameras, being distracted, etc!).  We also don’t want them thinking that there is a receiving line or lingering to talk to us right then, as we plan to spend time with each table as all guests eat dinner 🙂  And since the ceremony and cocktail hour are basically in the same place (both on the white terrace, just on opposite ends), we feel that guests are definitely going to need a little guidance so as not to linger.
 
Here’s the dilemma:
 
1.) Should this be the job of the officiant?  Should he say something after the ceremony to the effect of “Thank you all for coming this evening.  On behalf of our couple and their parents, we ask that you please partake of the cocktails and hors d’oeuvres at the other end of the white terrace while formal photos are taken.  The bride and groom will be visiting each table of guests during dinner.”

2.) Should we print something to that the effect in the wedding ceremony programs?  I’m finding a hard way to put it in print, yet remain polite and tactful.  I feel like I’m pretty much saying, “Sorry, people!  Can’t wish us well yet!  Just wait about an hour and a half and we’ll see ya then!” HAHA!

Here’s what I have in the program so far:

“Immediately following  the ceremony, please enjoy cocktails and hors d’oeuvres on the white terrace. 

In lieu of a receiving line, the bride and groom will be making their way to each table, greeting guests during the reception dinner.”


I personally have never been to a wedding where ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception are all at the same place!  This is SO new to me!

Any suggestions, advice, opinions are GREATLY appreciated!

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Post # 3
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsAmyBeiber:  My wedding, cocktail hour and dinner were all in the same room, We didn’t do a receiving line (went from table to table) and didn’t tell anyone there wouldn’t be a receiving line. We had about 65 guests. No one seemed to have other expectations

Post # 4
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Your suggestion is ideal. We had everything at one place, and after the ceremony was over, we just had our officiant explain what was going to happen next. That said, I think your “In lieu of a receiving line…” is unnecessary in print. It’s generally assumed that the bride and groom will be visiting everyone during the reception, and receiving lines are no longer as common as they once were.

 

Post # 5
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@nycsa:  Good to know!  Thank you!  I’m not sure if our guests would “expect” one or not….I guess that’s my main worry?    And we are having about 105 guests at the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
86 posts
Worker bee

The last few weddings I’ve been to had no receiving line, so I wouldn’t stress too much about it. But it is important to communicate to your guests where to head once the ceremony is over. I would utilize both the officiant and the program just to make it clear. I wouldn’t include the line “…in lieu of a receiving line” however, because it seems to emphasize to the guest that something is missing. The officiant only has to tell the guests that they are now asked to make their way to the other side of the terrace where hors d’ouvres are being served, if folks are lingering to the point of interfering with photos you can have your officiant or an usher guide them back to the reception area. Don’t feel guilty! Most wedding guests completely expect that the wedding party is going to be taking photos before dinner, just make sure to say hello to everyone during the reception.

Post # 7
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You’ve got it more than covered witht the program + an officiant announcement. Presumably the officiant will be heading to the cocktail area, so everyone will likely follow him/her.

We didn’t have a receiving line, no program, no announcement and no one acted like they were expecting one. People generally go with the flow! In fact, all of the weddings I’ve attended didn’t have a receiving line!

Post # 8
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

@MrsAmyBeiber:  Our ceremony was at a different place than the reception and due to the weather, we didn’t have a receiving line. We decided not to last minute, and didn’t tell anyone. Nobody seemed to care.

Post # 9
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you need an announcement – since you’re the first people out of the ceremony simply keep on walking to the photo location. If you aren’t around there’s no receiving line. People will get it. Personally ive never been to a wedding with a receiving line ad always assume cocktail hour is up next.

someone from your venue whether it be a day of coordinator or head of catering should be the one ushering guests from ceremony to cocktail hour And then from cocktail hour to reception.

Post # 10
Member
3479 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

People will be relieved there’s no receiving line.They want to get to cocktail hour!

You just need to immediately get away from people ater the ceremony. We quickly exited to the cocktail hour (we didn’t do photos at this time) and therefore didn’t have anyone lingering.

Post # 11
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I didn’t do a receiving line, and didn’t announce it either.  You could have your officiant announce it, or make a cute sign (“Cocktails this way”), or have a coordinator usher people to the right spot.  

No one likes receiving lines, from what I can tell, so you shouldn’t have any complaints!

Post # 12
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My groom could not stand long enough for a receiving line, so we decided not to have one. Wrestled with the same question. Ceremony was outside, followed by reception in a nearby building. The bridal party walked away from the ceremony and “disappeared” onto the patio of another building on the grounds. At the same time, our wedding coordinator very quickly made an announcement asking everyone to follow her to the area where the reception was being held. It was important that she clear everyone out of the area, so that we could return and take pictures without anyone else around. This approach seemed to work fine.

Before the wedding, I wondered if I should explain that there would be no receiving line and why. I never got around to telling people, and it did not seem to matter.

It seems okay to have something in the program, but I would not rely on that. I would say you definitely need someone, either the officiant or someone else, to direct or guide people right at that moment.  It would also help if, rather than just walking away from the altar, you walked away somewhere and disappeared for a few minutes.

Post # 13
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

All suggestions are perfect!  

I did decide to have my officiant say something after the ceremony, which will be great!

I also decided to put the following at the bottom of my ceremony programs:

“Now Let’s Celebrate!

We can’t wait to celebrate with you!

After the ceremony, please enjoy the cocktail

hour while we take our first photos as

Mr. and Mrs.

We’ll see you soon!

Love, Tim & Amy”


And in reply to everyone’s suggestions of “just walk away” or “just get out of that area” so people don’t linger….

We HAVE to do family photos immediately following the ceremony and it HAS to be at the “altar” because my mom has limited mobility and cannot walk without the aid of a walker (and even then, she can’t walk far).  AND it just so happens that the ceremony is at one end of a patio, while cocktail hour is just 20 feet away at the other end of that patio. No vacating the area for us…at least until family photos are done!

But I’m just taking deep breaths and I know that everything will work out just fine between the officiant and the little “blurb” I put in the program Smile 

 

Post # 14
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsAmyBeiber:  Are family photos the only ones that are needed immediately after the cermony?  If not, you could “disappear” and do the bridal party/bride & groom shots first, and then return for the family photos.

 

You (the couple) could also disappear for 5-10 minutes and take a quiet moment to enjoy each other immediately following the ceremony.  This may be the only private/quiet time you’ll have 🙂  When you return, take all the family shots.  Most people will have moved onto cocktails and aps by then.

Your mother and other family members will be able to remain (sitting) during this short break.

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