Post # 1
If we don’t register anywhere at all and make no mention of a registry anywhere, do you think most people would give gifts of cash?
We are going to be in a really tight spot this year — I’m having a baby soon and we’re having the wedding (which most of it is being paid for by our parents, but there are still plenty of other expenses we’ll have to take care of). We have been living together for 2 years and don’t “need” anything for our house.
However, I’m afraid if we don’t mention anywhere that we’d prefer gifts of cash, that we’ll get random weird and strange gifts from people (pink and purple towels or table cloths or who knows what).
Should we state on our website somewhere that gifts of cash are preferred?
Also, when you do this, there is really no need for a bridal shower, correct?
Post # 3
Let your family try and get the word out that you would prefer gifts but I wouldn’t put it on your website. I might still register because some people will always get a gift not give cash. This way you know where it came from and can return it rather than getting random items.
Post # 4
I know that I have a lot of relatives who don’t spend more than between ten and fifteen dollars on wedding gifts because they don’t have a lot of money. Having items on a registry at a variety of price points allows them to spend what they are capable of spending and know they’re getting you something that you’ll use. I think you will receive a lot of random figurines and towels if you don’t make a registry at all. One of my friends was in this tight spot when she got married, and they put baby supplies like diapers, formula, etc. on their registry. People bought them A TON of stuff that they actually put to great use. This might be an option.
Post # 5
It really all depends on your family, too. My fiance’s family doesn’t do gifts; they write checks or give gift cards. My family, no matter what, gives gifts instead of money.
Post # 6
I think this thread might blow up, only because some people will come in on a high horse saying how wrong asking for gifts/cash is and blah blah blah.
I think as opposed to putting it on your website I would go for word of mouth maybe from your family members or bridal party. I also recommend making at least a SMALL registry because there will always be people who will like one to pick from.
Post # 7
Yes, no registry means random stuff, like lots of frames, and random decor stuff.
Many people rather give a gift b/c it feels more tangable and personal that cash. If I were you I would have a registry and then just secretly return the items and keep the cash. But, you want to be sure you register at a store that will give you cash back instead of store credit, if I’m not mistaken Bed, Bath & Beyond gives cash back.
Post # 8
You can let your mom spread the word politely, but I wouldnt state it anywhere. However, it could backfire. There was someone on here that said they didnt register hoping for cash and they ended up with the vast majority of guests not giving anything.
Post # 9
We’re sort of in the same position. We only need a few things, and I don’t think we’d ever use china or crystal. At the same time, if we don’t register we don’t know what we’ll end up getting.
A lot of this depends on your family. If anyone in your or your FH’s family got married recently, talking to them would be a good place to start. Some people will give you a gift even if you aren’t registered. You have to try to figure out how many of those people you have. I’d probably make a small registry either way.
Don’t put anything about cash on your website and don’t have a shower.
Post # 10
Asking for cash in any form is rude and it is very unrealistic to expect/assume that you will receive cash if you don’t register. Plus, countless people do not give cash gifts for any occasion. The reality of what will happen if you don’t register, contrary to popular belief, is that you will receive instead a crapton of gifts you don’t want and can not return anywhere.
Post # 11
Actually, it really IS OK to request money, but by word of mouth. You could do a small registry for some things you might need, as some people will only buy gifts. If I saw no registry, I’d give cash (but I always give cash for weddings anyway).
Post # 12
I registered and got a lot of things off my registry for the shower but only about 10 gifts at the wedding, the rest was cash and not one single gift card. I was pleasantly surprised.
My friend did not register and got a bunch of random gifts and a lot of cash.
Word of mouth would be best but I think it really depends your guests and what they are comfortable doing.
Post # 13
I doubt it. If people don’t know where you’re registered, they will buy you a present they think you will like. (Haha people do that even if they know you are registered somewhere). Some may give gift cards, but don’t count on that many.
Post # 14
It depends where you are in ND. There are not a ton of shopping options, like there are in larger areas (I lived there and traveled the state for almost a year). I would create a small registry at a place that will allow you to easily exchange things for things you might need for the baby or other items.
Post # 15
I agree with @tksjewelry:, create a small registry and see what you get. You can return the things you really don’t need. Another PP had a good suggestion of placing some baby items on the registry (crib, bedding, etc). It is ND, so word of mouth does spread quickly if you’d like your family to express your preference for monetary gifts.
Post # 16
Word of mouth aside, (which should come from your parents and friends, NOT directly from you unless specifically asked), there’s no real pretty way to ask for cash–websites or otherwise. And the other thing is, you will get random stuff either way, even if you DID register.
I would suggest that you tell your parents to pass word of mouth and then do a small registry at a place with a great return policy. Even if you can’t return for cash you can get gift cards and sell them on ebay 🙂