(Closed) No registry, want cash only

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Eliza_Bee:  I would decline the heck out of that shower. That’s not a shower, thats a tacky money grub. Just regret, nobody is going to ask you why if they have any tact at all.

If the bride didn’t want a traditional shower, she should have had a bridal luncheon or something else equally lovely that’s not a gift giving occasion. 

Post # 47
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

CaroBee:  

MarriedToMyWork: 

I can’t decline in this situation unfortunetely.  I’ll just make it work, and do something I’m comfortable with.

Post # 48
Member
857 posts
Busy bee

I would say $100 at elast. But i would totally feel free to gift something else. Thats the chance you take not having a registry. people dont always like paying towards something or giving cash!

Post # 49
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Linda2014M:  I did a honeymoon registry as well and put different items at different costs.  I wanted to be sure that everyone could find an amount that they were comfortable with.  Most were in small increments of $10, 15, 20, 25, etc.  We had some people give us a couple hundred bucks, but most of our friends and family gave us $20-50/pp.  We certainly didn’t judge them!  Money is money and we were happy to get anything.

Post # 50
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Eliza_Bee:  I am genuinely sorry that someone else’s horrific manners has put you in this uncomfortable situation.  I hope that you are able to make the best of the event.

 

Post # 51
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m in the same boat as your example I want only cash to pay for my honeymoon but I don’t know how to get the word out without seeming like a money grubbing,selfish twat.  At the very least I can recoupe some of the expenses for the wedding or put some money towards my honeymoon.  If that is the wish of the bride and groom just give what you have i’m sure any monetary amount would be greatly appreciated as opposed to giving a gift that they don’t want.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  .
Post # 52
Member
25 posts
Newbee

I don’t think it is in poor taste to request money. You have to remember that today’s couples are far different than those past. Most of the couple’s today have lived together and many times do not need gifts for their home. In the past guests gifted items for the home because many couples didn’t live together and genuinely needed home items. Wouldn’t you rather gift the couple something they need? Maybe the monies will go toward purchasing a home or helping to fund their honeymoon. Either way, I’d rather gift to help the couple with their needs than be selfish and buy them a gift they do not need and may not want. 

Post # 53
Member
6445 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Perhaps it depends on where you are from, but I cannot imagine anyone giving anything except money as a wedding gift. Around here, no one gives physical gifts except the very oldest attendees; everyone else gives cash or writes a check. This was even true at my own wedding more than a decade ago. No one asks for money (as that would be in poor taste), and most people still register as a formality, but it is rare for anyone to buy off the registry.

Post # 54
Member
45 posts
Newbee

I think most people will appreciate whatever you gift them.  That said, I don’t think it’s rude for people to prefer cash.  Nor do I think that they want it so they can rank or judge people based on the amount given.

My fiance and I will have a registry with a small selection of items.  We would prefer cash simply because we’ve been living together for 5 years and there’s not much we need.  We will appreciate any gift we receive but cash would be most useful to us. 

Post # 55
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

Its not rude to prefer cash, its just rude to make the preference known.

Post # 56
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Fireflysushi:  I agree with you, sometimes people already have their home set up and don’t need another toaster. They would rather you take the money you would spend on a toaster and put it towards their honeymoon. I also think it’a a nicer way to ask for money,because you’re letting your guests know what you’re gonna use it for.

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