Post # 1
My Fiance and I have nearly everything we need for our place, we’ve lived together for over 2 years. Right now there is nothing we want or need, however, in the future if we were to buy a house we would likely need to fill it as we only live in a one bedroom apartment right now. Therefore, if people were to give us a gift we’d prefer cash to put away for when that time comes! (No, we won’t be using it for a downpayment or a honeymoon)
I put a note on our wedding website saying that we didn’t expect gifts and don’t have a registry setup. After reading this site I decided to just remove it because apparently if there is no information people will usually assume we want cash gifts. However, I just went to my friends wedding website and in her guestbook she had two comments about her not having a registry.
What do I respond to people who ask us to make a registry to help them out? We don’t want too, my friend caved and made one but I’m not interested!
Post # 3
It’s tricky because some people are always going to want to give a gift. We are in a very similar situation, and I’ve ended up suggesting charitable donations – not a particularly popular idea here on the ‘Bee but it’s the right thing for us.
Are you having a honeymoon? Some people suggest contributions towards that (and there are some good websites out there where guests can “buy” a particular part of your holiday). This isn’t an option for us as we aren’t having a honeymoon.
Post # 4
If people ask for registry info, all you have to say is that you didn’t set anything up because you have everything you need for your home. People will deduce that cash would be the best gift.
Post # 5
You did the right thing…who cares if they ask? Just tell them you didn’t need to register, and you don’t intend to. At that point, they will either get you something random, give you money, or give you nothing.
Post # 6
The one problem with this is that people like to give gifts, not always cash. So instead of you asking for things you would actually like and use, they will buy you things that are their style, not yours, because they have no direction. This happened to a friend of mine and she ended up with stuff she didn’t like and less cash than she thought she would get. I would reccomend at least a small registry.
Post # 7
@foreverthine: Usually it’s a good idea to have a small registry because there will always be people who prefer to give a physical gift rather than cash. And if they’re going to do that it might as well be something you want and to your taste.
But if you decide not to, just say “We have everything we need so we didn’t register. We are saving up for X though.” That’s the polite way to hint you’d prefer cash. If you are saving for new furniture or something you could say, “We have everything we need so we didn’t register. However, we are looking at getting some new furniture so a gift card to IKEA would be super helpful.” If asked outright what you want, I don’t see an issue with asking for gift cards for a specific purchase.
Post # 8
*Everyone* has “everything they could need” and would “prefer cash”, so you are hardly the first person in this situation. You are right that when someone doesnt register the assumption others will make is they are hoping for monetary gifts.
The issue some guests run into is not wanting to give a specific monetary amount. Say I’m a guest and can only afford to spend $50 on your gift. I may feel uncomfortable and worry you’ll think I’m “cheap” if I “only” give you $50….but if say you registered for a cute $49.99 wine rack, then I can get you that and not feel crappy 🙂 *That* is one of the pros of even a tiny registry: folks that cannot afford to spend alot can still feel like they picked something you wanted.
I would consider one, small registry 🙂
Post # 9
@foreverthine: we did a cash registry on wedding republic if you want to try that.
Post # 10
@badabing88: Yeah, I’m the broke student! I will scout out the store for sales on their registry. So, I end up buying them a gift worth $80-$100, but only spend $50-$60 and feel better about it.
Post # 11
@memo: Same here 🙂 and sometimes that even means I can get them more than one item 🙂
Post # 12
Etiquette Snob here…
If asked, this is what I would offer up, as it is the truth…
“To be honest, we chose not to register because our one bedroom apartment is full as it is… we are hoping tho to buy a home in the future so we are saving towards that”
That is it… don’t ask (asking for gifts is the offensive part), and no need to voluteer anything else.
Folks will take the hint.
You can also use your Immediate Families (Parents, Sibs) and the Bridal Party to get the word out incase anyone asks them about your Gift Wishes.
And in truth, there is nothing to say what you do with the cash that comes in… in the big scheme of things lets say you get $ 1000 it won’t matter if you put it towards the Down Payment or buying something else (furniture, drapes, etc for the new space) … because by the time that days rolls around, the money will be all coming out of the same pot anyhow… what you and your Hubby have to live on.
Hope this helps,
Post # 13
Thanks for all of the help 🙂
We aren’t having a honeymoon because we don’t have the money. We’d prefer to use any cash given towards home goods in the future to make up for not registering.
I will consider a small one!
Post # 14
Just wants to say, FI and I have been together 8+ years, and are on our second house together, and of course there’s nothing we NEED, but there’s still a few items we registered for. (new sheets, towels, kitchenaid attachments, etc) you could always register and start a hope chest for your new house if you don’t have any need for items now.