Post # 1
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
Hi bees 🙂
We found out recently that our venue, where we’re also having the ceremony, does not do ceremony rehearsals the day before. They do them about an hour before the ceremony, which is fine. But I’m wondering if we still need to have an official dinner. My Mother-In-Law keeps pushing for one, but I’m not sure it’s a necessary expense.
The venue is about an hour away from our homes, so we did ask our wedding party to stay over the night before. We have 12 in the bunch (bmaids and gmen) and the girls will have to be getting ready at 7:30 AM and they’re all usually late arrivers! So we did that for peace of mind. The less stress the better.
I am wondering, do we need to do a rehearsal dinner the night before? We are not having a rehearsal so I feel there is no need. However, I can understand the argument that people are staying the night before, so it could be a nice gesture to take them out to dinner. My only concern is my fiance’s giant family. I would be fine taking the wedding party to dinner, but with the wedding party comes their spouses/ boyfriends/ girlfriends (now the number becomes 24 instead of 12.) Since most of our wedding party is comprised of family members (FI’s cousins), the aunts and uncles assume they are, too, invited. Now the number is 30. FI’s parents, my parents, FI’s mom is having her close friends come the night before (I have no idea why) so now we’re almost at 40. It’s just a very expensive additional expense. It is very hard to invite one without the other with this family. Trust me on that one.
Your opinions are welcomed, please help 🙂
Post # 2
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
Don’t you love how everyone starts having an opinion about “your” wedding!? LOL. I don’t see the need or added expense of having an elaborate rehearsal dinner at a catering hall, etc. Could you possibly just have a small potluck bbq/dinner or order/go out for pizza? I am actually having a rehearsal the night before at our venue, and we decided to go with an in-between option to save money, and we are meeting up for pizza and salad before hand. The venue offers a catered rehearsal dinner, but it would have been like $700, and we are trying to keep our budget tight. We are probably going to spend around $200 feeding everyone before the rehearsal, and it’s more relaxed/our style. Good luck & happy planning!
Post # 3
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
BrandyQ: haha I love you for saying that. YES everyone has an opinion on what we SHOULD do, have to do. I can’t stand it. What I can’t stand the most, is that FI’s mother keeps insisting on paying for this dinner we don’t necessarily want. Meanwhile our wedding is 2 1/2 months away and 2/3 of the money she promised to us for the actual wedding has yet to be seen. But that’s another story… =(
That’s good advice, thank you. Unfortunately, I think we may have to feed 40 people. & Most of these places around the area are $80-100/pp. It’s like another wedding! & although FI’s mom offered to pay, I’m not sure she will & we may be stuck paying (literally). I think a good in between is a good idea, I just have to think of how to do it. Hmm.
Post # 4
Member
6515 posts
Bee Keeper
mrsreardon2bee: no you def dont need to. And unless your Mother-In-Law is footin the bill, she needs to keep her mouth shut. And since there wouldnt be a rehearsal, it wouldnt even be a rehearsal dinner, it would be more like a celebratory dinner the night before the wedding
Post # 5
Member
1650 posts
Bumble bee
A friend of mine didnt have a ceremony rehearsal either, but did have a dinner. It was a nice time for the family to get together and mingle before the big day.
Post # 6
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
Daizy914: Agreed. I learned the hard way from trusting her when she says she will pay. She has champagne taste and penny pockets. I love her, she has good intentions, but it’s more stressful for us when she talks a big talk but can’t write the checks her mouth is writing. Fiance feels bad calling her out, but it puts more stress on he and I.
buzzinbee: This is very true. It is a nice thing to do and it’s nice to spend time together. Although we all live locally and see each other alllllllll the time. I just wish it wasn’t THAT many people. 20-25 people, fine, but 40 is a lot.
Post # 7
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
mrsreardon2bee: We have to fee approx 30 people, so I completely understand…that’s why we’re going the pizza and house salad route! 🙂
Post # 8
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
It’s up to you but if you’re not having a rehearsal I’d say you don’t need a dinner.
Post # 9
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
Hi! We are doing this!
Rehearsal dinner without the rehearsal! It works out just fine. We are doing the run through the day of at our venue which is no biggie at all. It will actually be nice to just drink and mingle with my future hubby’s family that I have not met yet.
Post # 10
Member
1175 posts
Bumble bee
mrsreardon2bee: Haha, love it when FMILs come in and have opinions without any monetary contributions. My Mother-In-Law wanted us to scrape our Destination Wedding idea when we first started planning and have the wedding locally. We were paying for the whole wedding on our own. DW was only not local, but in Cali (we’re from NY) because it would be closer to my parents, who are the caretakers of my autistic brother. My brother doesn’t fly, so my parents would have to drive the 2500 miles to New York or all of them couldn’t attend my wedding. Sorry, I digress. We had a rehearsal dinner, but DH wanted to invite all of his family (aunts, uncles, cousins, you name it) and out of town guests, so we had 60 people at our rehearsal dinner. Do I regret having a rehearsal dinner? Not at all. Everyone had a great time. Was I pissed about having to pay for and organize a dinner for so many people during the planning process? Absolutely. In My Humble Opinion, you don’t need a rehearsal dinner if you’re not having a rehearsal, and no, a rehearsal dinner does need to include people outside of your immediate family and wedding party and their SOs. It would be nice to have one, but again, not required or expected. If you have the wiggle room in your budget, I would do it, because it really made for some great memories, but if not, don’t do it. And like some of PPs say, it doesn’t have to be fancy, some pizzas and beers are fine. A few couples I know did a BBQ, and those are typically affordable. Also, you don’t have to supply the alcohol.
Post # 11
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
mrsreardon2bee: We are having a rehearsal the night before but after the rehearsal our venue lets us have 2 hours to decorate. So they want us to do the rehearsal at 6 till 7 then we will decorate till 9. That is kind of late to have a dinner after so what we are doing is renting the banquet room that is in the hotel where everyone is staying. We have it for 8 hours and we are picking up BBQ. We will all eat around 4-430 so we can get to rehearsal but then it will be there for anyone that arrives later and wants to grab something to eat.
The prices I have gotten so far (not catered, just pick up and serve) will run us about $400 with enough meats and sides for 50 people. I’ll pick up some plates, sodas and cups. Very informal but I wanted to make sure I did something.
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This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by
cookiebird.
Post # 12
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
Wow weddings in Ireland are so much more laid back than in the US. No rehearsal dinners done here! Or bridal showers too for that matter 🙂
I say no, dont have one!