Post # 1
Hello, Bees! My first question to you is about basic human requirements: guests attending our ceremony will be 3-4 hours away from proper restrooms.
Our ceremony will be outdoors at a rugged location in the mountains. Regular passenger vehicles will be unable to access it, so we’ve hired a Jeep touring company to shuttle our guests to the area. The ride itself will be 2hrs ROUNDTRIP. Ceremony will be no longer than 20 minutes, and I’m planning to give everyone time to enjoy the stunning scenery before we begin sending the Jeeps back down.
Ordinarily I wouldn’t be too concerned, but this is a destination wedding where our 60-80 guests will have to arrive the prior day after a minimum 6hr drive, and there will be lots of kids under the age of 8 along with some older folks. Having Port-A-Potties up there is NOT a possibility! I want to consider their feelings and warn them ahead of time, which I’ve already done on the website, but I fear no on really reads these things… So how do I go about notifying them?
What about the possibility of carsickness on the Jeep rides (they’re open-air Jeeps, so that should help, but still…) – should I mention dramamine or puke bags too?
FYI, all the guests know my fiance and me pretty well and won’t be surprised that we’re holding a ceremony like this… or at least until they realize that they, too, will be sharing in our remote environment for 3-4 hours.
Post # 3
Oh, this is a tough one. I honestly would consider declining if a wedding was a 2 hour drive each way in rugged terrian for a twenty minute ceremony. No offense (I’m sure it’s gorgeous), but that’s a lot to ask of your guests, especially those with children.
Perhaps you could put an enclosure in the invitation that outlines the lack of facilities and the long drive so people are fully aware before committing.
Post # 4
It sounds like really unique idea. I for one would decline if I had to hold my bladder for 4 hours. That would be a very uncomfortable time for me past two hours.
Post # 5
Yikes. It sounds lovely but I dont know if I could go to that. As soon I know there isnt a bathroom around I literally have to pee right that second. Haha. Asking elderly guests and children to hold it for 3-4 hours is way too long.
Not to mention I would be disappointed to make a 2 hour car ride for a 20 minute ceremony. Have you rented enough jeeps for everyone to make the trip back at the same time?
Post # 6
Have you looked into renting a porta potty? That’s common around here for outdoor weddings. Even you just got one for emergencies. I drink a lot of water and there is no way I would make it 4 hours.
Post # 7
Oh no no no… I’m almost 34 weeks pregnant and can’t hold it for more than 5 minutes. I’d make sure your guest list contains absolutely ZERO people who are old, very young, have health conditions, or are pregnant if you expect them to go that long without a restroom facility. Is there no way to bring in some sort of bathroom?
Post # 8
I’m with the other 2. It sounds lovely, but I would likely decline if it was 2 hours each way in a Jeep and no bathrooms.
And for those with kids, that is A LOT to ask. Kids can’t control it.
I would honestly look into having port-o-potties or something. 4 hours is a LONG time
Post # 9
Eeek! That is a long time. I’d put it in the invite so you know that people are for sure seeing it. Usually word of mouth is great for an extra notice of something, but since bathrooms are fairly vital to the elderly, pregnant ladies, children, people with stomach issues, etc., I’d say enclosure slip just so you’re 100 percent sure they know what they’re getting into.
Post # 10
I think its a lot to ask your guests to drive 2 hours in each direction to a remote location for a 20 minute ceremony. Don’t be surprised if once they learn the details, they may decide not to attend the ceremony. You should definitely let gusts know in the invitations about the travel details and lack of restrooms.
Post # 11
Sorry, I think it’s being a really bad host to not have facilities available for 3 – 4 hours. To the point of being unacceptable. Even those with strong bladders would be having a rough time.
Since you asked how to make it clear on invites, I’d put it on a logistics enclosure card. In big bold letters.
And realize that people STILL won’t read it. I’ve been blown away by people who are otherwise very smart and with it asking me questions that are clearly addressed in the invites.
So yeah, expect some unhappy guests.
I wouldn’t do it unless you can make some arrangmenets for at least a port-a-pottie. It’s really just thoughtless to guests. And a 2 hour drive for a 20 minute ceremony, even with “viewing” time, sounds also inconsiderate.
If you really want to consider their feelings, as you say, consider their most basic of needs.
Post # 12
so with the round trip to the site, the total time away from proper restrooms will be +6 hours. I’m not old or pregnant or sick and that would still be hard for me. See about renting a nice porta-potty
Post # 13
I think it’s unreasonable of you as a host to not furnish some sort of restroom facilities for your guests. No one is going to want to squat in the woods. Please look into some sort of portable restroom facilities and other arrangements. It’s not a matter of comfort but rather of basic human bodily functions.
I would also advise the guests about the 4-hour round-trip Jeep ride as I think some might not find that reasonable either. It isn’t fair to not let the guests have a choice in whether or not they spend that kind of time in the car.
As the host, I would imagine you would supply the dramamine and sickness bags but I seriously would have some second thoughts about planning any event, let alone a wedding, where I would risk my guests getting altitude sick, motion sickness, etc.
Make sure you are absolutely clear with your guests about what to expect— that may mean sending personal emails or making phone calls— and give them the option for joining you only for the reception (which I am assuming is in a more traditional setting). Don’t take it personally if some are not as rugged as you are. I’m having a mini-heart-attack currently imagining how the day would go if I were escorting my mother to your ceremony. 🙁
Post # 14
So guests have to drive 2 hours to get to the ceremony and then 2 hours to the reception site? That’s really asking a lot of your guests, especially when restrooms won’t be available.
Post # 15
Sorry OP, but that is way too long not to have restrooms. Not even an option really. I would come up with a plan to provide a restroom even if I had to rent something. I am telling you, IT IS NOT OKAY. I mean, even if every single person was able to not have to go n.2- (which is impossible) – you cannot have people squatting in the woods- esp. if elderly. (I am a very mountain person and have lived off grid, but the way) It is way too long to hold and is not even sufficient for basic human decency at that point.
Also, if someone had to go n.2, you expect them to dig a HOLE? What kind of natural area is this? There are sanitary and leave no trace regs, on top of that being a nightmare scenario. I have also off-roaded for fun and for my job working at the park service and there is nothing enjoyable about it- it is stressful and uncomfortable at best.
This is just not fair to the guests and seems more for you the couple than for them. You need to consider their basic human rights and needs. Then don’t invite them. Why bring them along to torture them. It is not right and it is not fair. It is just a bit too much. Very selfish, imo.
Post # 16
I think if this is where you want your ceremony, that is great, but you need to do it as a private ceremony. Not only is it too much to ask your guests to hold it for that long, it’s also too long to expect them to drive back and forth for your ceremony. If you’re having to figure out the logistics for your guest’s bodily functions then that should tell you right there that it is not a good idea as a hostess.