(Closed) No ring proposal/engagement

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you consider someone to be engaged without a ring?

    Yes

    No

    You're being selfish and/or crazy

    This is a normal feeling, don't fret

  • Post # 17
    Member
    8682 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @Hyperventilate:  THIS and I wouldn’t care if anyone thought I wasn’t really engaged bc I had no ring. I see a lot of married people without rings so *shrug*

    Post # 18
    Member
    666 posts
    Busy bee

    Yes get a stand in!  I’ve been engaged since May with no ring and most people don’t get it.  It’s always a bit awkward to explain, but since I didn’t think of a stand in right away I figure its late in the game now for it, so I’m tough ing it out!

    My coworkers are always checking my hand too to see if I’ve gotten it yet!  That gets old.

    Post # 19
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I agree get a stand in if you’re uncomfortable with the questions, but I think the ring is totally unncessary. I’ve also seen people who are “engaged” and HAVE a ring (albeit usually a cheap one) who have no imminent or future plans to wed, just some sort of vague agreement that they will marry. So no, I don’t find the ring particularly meaningful. It’s a piece of jewelry to which many women have chosen to attach a tremendous amount of angst and expectation.

    It’s all about what makes YOU comfortable. If you feel totally cool shrugging off the questions, then do it. If it makes you uncomfortable, then get a cheap stand-in if finances allow.

    Post # 20
    Member
    3315 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    We never had engagement rings, and we’ve now been married for three years.  I find it a bit hard to wrap my head around the concept that we were never engaged since we didn’t have rings.

    The whole engagement ring thing started as a marketing ploy by De Beers to get people to buy more diamonds.  I find it appalling that people listen to advertising so much that they now can’t envision an engagement without a ring.

    Post # 21
    Member
    4787 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My uncle was in med school when he proposed to my aunt and couldn’t afford a ring. He promised to get her one later, but she didn’t care – they never did get an e-ring, but that doesn’t make them any less married, which is the point, right? They have been happily married for 30+ years… clearly, an engagement can be “real” without a ring – just be prepared to answer questions from people because someone will be rude enough to ask “If you’re engaged, where’s  your ring?”.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My parents did not have an egagement ring, and they are going on 37 years married now. He bought her a HUGE solitaire for their 25th anniversary!

    Post # 23
    Member
    625 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think an engagement is legitimate with or without the jewelery, BUT I would also be bummed if I didn’t have one. It’s very special to me and I realize it’s a societal thing and doesn’t really matter to the relationship, but I am a definitely a product of the culture, lol. That being said, I don’t think anyone should break their budget for a ring. Many people have suggested cz or moissy (personally, I want to UPGRADE to a moissy, lol – I love the look of them) but you could also simply go for a smaller stone. Some have a problem with that but Fiance and I were students in college when we got engaged and didn’t have much money. He presented me with 1/4ct solitaire and it’s absolutely beautiful, but didn’t break the wallet, you know? I think it was under $600 and granted, I don’t know the Cs, but I can say it sparkles more than many other bigger rings I’ve seen in person.

    My point is, you can still find a “real” (although I think all rings are real) ring for a very affordable price.

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    1293 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think that there are more important things than the ring.. even though I understand your desire for one. I dont think what others consider normal or right should affect your decision and your choice to get engaged or not. If you are planning a wedding and are in love and consider yourselves engaged, than who cares what others think.

     

    If you didnt more or didnt have the rescue dog because you bought a ring instead, how happy would you really be?

    You can buy a ring when you can afford it, until then just remember that the ring isnt what makes you happy, what it represents does.

    Post # 25
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    You obviously don’t need hardware on your finger in order to make the decision to marry, but I certainly don’t think you’re selfish for wanting an engagement ring!  I’m in favor of having a stand-in ring until you can afford the lifelong ring you want.  Maybe you could get a promise ring, they’re smaller/less $, and as far as I know, there’s still a large selection.

    Post # 26
    Member
    8434 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    View original reply
    @Hyperventilate:  +1, very well said.

    Post # 27
    Member
    2266 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m wondering why 15 people who said “no” aren’t speaking up. I’d like to hear your thoughts.

    Also, why do 8 people say that the OP is selfish or crazy? What part of this is crazy?

    Just for the record OP, it’s okay to want a pretty shiny. You shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting something like that. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    868 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @LemonyItch:  I’m engaged without a ring!! It’s not a money issue, I really wanted to pick out my ring and I also thought it would be romantic for us to ring shop together. I have not decided what I want yet….so when people ask I say “I’m still picking out what I want” and it’s the truth! People seem to love that I get to pick out my own ring. No one thinks it’s weird at all. I got engaged a few weeks ago and I think we’ll pick out the ring in february.

    Post # 30
    Member
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I was engaged with no ring for almost 2 years then he reproposed with a ring. I thought I was engaged but only told a few people, and the people I did tell didnt really see us as “engaged” particularly my parents. They were the main reason he even got me a ring ( i didnt really need one but it is nice) I didnt start officially planning the wedding until he got the ring. So it wasnt that wierd for me and I see people all the time without engagment rings and just wedding bands

    Post # 31
    Member
    3106 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    So you say a twist tie is fine but you don’t really mean it. I think this is pretty common. A ring is necessary for most of us. 

    Why not get a stand in simple cz ring & upgrade when appropriate. 

    The topic ‘No ring proposal/engagement’ is closed to new replies.

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