Post # 47
Post # 48
@LemonyItch: Yes, a person is engaged if asked/accepted, regardless of whether there is a ring or not.
And if your family knows that he put up a lot of $ to move y’all, then I have a hard time believing they’d make faces and comments about you not having a ring yet. If they did, then they are people I wouldn’t want to be around, personally.
I know it’s probably disappointing to not have one, but you’ll get one at some point, right? Get a stand-in for now, and save for the “real” one. Berricle has some really nice ones.
By The Way, I was proposed to without a ring.
Post # 49
I don’t know. It’s just strange that they feel that way and yet not one of 27 people commented as to why. Who knows? I still think it’s a legitimate, special occasion, ring or no ring. 🙂
Post # 50
I think it’s a person-by-person or couple-by-couple thing. My FH didn’t consider us engaged until there was a ring on my finger, even though we had already planned an approximate time for our wedding, and he had asked me to marry him I don’t know how many times.
But if a couple decides they’re engaged without a ring, then they’re engaged. No one can tell them they’re not.
Post # 51
Rings to me, indicate seriousness. I was “engaged” ten years ago, planning the wedding, etc. he called it off twice. Came home one day & said he couldn’t marry me. Found out yr later he had been cheating on me. And guess what? She got a ring mere months later & he married her.
Since then…no ring, no engagement. I don’t play that game.
Post # 52
I don’t think you need a ring to be engaged! Being engaged is about getting married, that you have decided to spend the rest of your lives together. A ring just simply tells everyone “Hey, I’m getting married!” My parents got engaged without a ring. They were together for so long they just sat down and decided to get married and started planning a wedding. A little while later, my dad did surprise her with a ring. He walked by a pawn shop and saw it and knew it was perfect for her. BUT my mom never wanted/needed/asked/expected for a ring. I think the ring is a personal choice. Look at how many poeple are married and don’t wear a ring. My dad is one of them, he hasn’t been able to fit his on his giant hands in probably 30 years, but they are still married! I think a stand in ring is also a fine idea. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that!
Post # 53
- Wedding: December 2019 - City, State
You can definitely be engaged without a ring, IMO! It’s just a symbol. You can use a cheap ring for now or get a ring later or both. I agree with you, the pupster is definitely more important!
Post # 54
I was engaged for 7 months without a ring. I also told FH that a ring wasn’t important. We were looking at buying a house, FH/s truck needed pricey repairs and we just felt that we could wait to buy a ring. I bought a stand in from Berricle because I did really want a ring on my finger and eventually we ordered my moissanite.
There’s nothing wrong with you wanting a ring, but a stand in may make you feel better until you can spend the money on something more permenant. Berricle is good and their rings are of good quality, Amazon, Overstock and ebay are good too.
ETA: I also don’t think you have to have a ring to be engaged. When my aunt and uncle got married, he proposed to her with a necklace. And my grandmother never got an engagement ring. A ring doesn’t make an engagement any more real.
Post # 55
Anyone who says someone else can’t be engaged without a ring is an idiot. That’s something you can decide for yourself, but you can’t decide for another person. If a couple says they’re engaged, they’re engaged. The end.
I’m currently engaged without a ring. We’re going ring shopping in about three weeks.
Post # 56
Why don’t you get a small plain band for now and add the big bling later?
Post # 57
I think an engagement is totally legit with or without a ring. However, the very first thing people did after I said I was engaged was grab my hand. I know I wouldn’t be able to handle explaining the decision to not have a ring to people over and over, so if that would bother you then I’d consider getting a stand-in.
Post # 58
You don’t have to have a ring to be engaged. An engagement is a new step in a relationship that officially states that you will be getting married! That is something that is between you and your significant other, and if you are engaged, then that’s all that matters.
That being said, be prepared for others to not see your engagement as official. I have seen several couples who just decide they are engaged one day for the sake of it (usually without a ring), but never begin planning a wedding or anything. In that situation, I don’t believe an engagement is legit. BUT if you are engaged and you’re planning a wedding, I think it is legit with or without a ring.
Post # 59
I showed him some rings on Berricle and he wasn’t exactly over the moon about them. He seems to prefer either a real ring or he’s dipping a twist tie in glue and rolling it in blue glitter (joke I made but I think it’d be cute in the mean time although probably not too sturdy now that I really think about it . . . )
Some money has been freed up and a couple of the applications I’ve put in for paid internships look promising. I’m also taking the advice of a professor and exploring selling my photographs and a couple of photography accessories I’ve been making for myself and a few of my classmates. Even if I don’t have a ring when we first get engaged, I think I’ll be fine. It took me a little while to realize the issue isn’t about what I would think and feel but what the expectations, assumptions, and judgements of others (mostly those immediately around me) would be.
As of right now, 116 Bees think it’s fine to be engaged without a ring and 41 think a ring is necessary. While I understand what one or two Bees said about a ring symbolizing a commitment, I think that the fact that he’s helping to move me and my pup across more than 8,000 miles and into his home is a bigger commitment than a $2,000 ring. I want to thank everyone for their honest opinions and input, it really helped in making me comfortable with the situation and realizing what the issue really was for me.
Worst case scenario, I draw one on my finger and tell them I got a tattoo!
Post # 60
All my international friends (non American) have gotten married without an engagement ring. In fact, I think the concept of proposals and engagements is something pretty anglo.
If it is that important to you, I’d pick a cute cheap ring from Target or wherever else and wear it on my ring finger for now.
Post # 61
The only issue with that is that I have a nickel allergy so I need to be careful. I’ll be good waiting for the “real” ring he wants or maybe it’s more affordable now that some circumstances have changed.