(Closed) No ring proposal/engagement

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you consider someone to be engaged without a ring?

    Yes

    No

    You're being selfish and/or crazy

    This is a normal feeling, don't fret

  • Post # 77
    Member
    2742 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

    My best friend never had an engagement ring she had an engagement contract, that is what she wanted. She and her husband dont have wedding rings they both lost them nor do they care.

    Another girlfriend of mine had an engagement ring she hardly ever wore it due to her job. They decided together since they were in the same field wedding rings were a waste. Neither of them wears a ring.

    They are both married now and happily.

    I’m engaged I have a BIG RING. I wanted a ring and the symbolism, he wanted it big. I didnt have one in my first marraige just a stone that was never set, and a wedding band. My fiance knew that was important. We are very happy. We were engaged 5 months before he presented the ring and we told most people our intentions to get married. We wanted time to ourselves first.

     

    Bottom line is this a ring does not make for a commitment, or for happiness. Loving each other and agreeing to be married, and setting a date together does. A ring is a thing that can symbolize your love and relationship if you choose to have one, it is not neccessary to have that though to have the real deal. I would have said yes to a twist tie, in fact we agreed before any stone had been bought or setting chosen. We knew together what we wanted and that is what mattered. Making a shiny together was just fun and allowed us to express that easier to others.

    Post # 78
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee

    When my hubs and I decided to get married, I had no ring–and like you, I had trouble coming to terms with feeling engaged until I had one.  Mine is coming this week, but I really think a stand-in would definitely help.

    I’m not one of those women that ask “where’s your ring?” when I hear about someone’s engagement because I don’t particularly care if they had one or not, but I can’t speak for everyone else.  Everyone and their mom has asked me where my ring was, and I think that contributed to my feeling of incomplete-ness.

    Don’t fret dear, get a fun stand in! You are engaged because you have committed yourself to marry the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, ring or not, it does not change that.

    Post # 79
    Member
    62 posts
    Worker bee

    I haven’t read through all of the other responses, but to share my opinion and experience: yes, you can be engaged without a ring! When my fiance first proposed marriage, he did not have a ring. We still considered ourselves to be “engaged” because we had decided to commit to marry each other. You don’t need a ring for that.  However, our experience was different than yours. He proposed very soon into our relationship and, while he had been thinking about marrying me, he never brought up the topic prior to asking and I think he asked before he even put thought into getting the ring. He told his parents the next day that we were engaged (they scoffed that we weren’t “really engaged” because we didn’t have a ring), but we kept it a secret from most other people for awhile because my fiance wanted a chance to talk with my father first (he did things a little backwards). Shortly after getting engaged, we went to a jeweler to find out my ring size. He picked out a ring without me, without any input from me whatsoever (but it is PERFECT!). It took him some time to pay off the ring, but I had it 10 months after the initial proposal.I didn’t mind not having the ring for that period of time, but if we had to go back in time and do it over, I wish he had proposed with a ring initially only because it would have shown that he really put thought into the decision. I think in your situation, it shouldn’t be a big deal if you don’t have a ring. He loves you, he wants to marry you- you’ll get the ring eventually! 

    Post # 80
    Member
    593 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 1993

    Check out QVC.com. I love their Epiphany line. They have some beautiful rings. I had one for years before I got a diamond and no one knew. I always got compliments on it.  It is not about the ring. It is about the 2 of you (and your puppy). Good luck

    Post # 83
    Member
    12242 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would make life easy on myself and just wear a CZ until he CAN afford one!

    Post # 84
    Member
    5184 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    An engagement is an intention to be married. You do not need a ring to prove it, nor should you feel bad in any way about not having one. Don’t give it a second thought. 

    Post # 85
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    The ring is just a bonus, it doesn’t make or break the commitment!

    Post # 86
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @joya_aspera:  +1 this.

    engagment without a ring is still 100% real but something small and cheap is ideal if it bothers you! 

    Post # 87
    Member
    428 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    If there was absolutely no money for an engagement ring, I would wear one of my other rings on that finger.  Because I would want something, anything there.

    Post # 88
    Member
    1853 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @LemonyItch:  I love that you’re being a responsible pet owner and putting your dog before yourself. hats off to you.

    How about he proposing with a wedding band. You use it for the wedding and ring shop for a e-ring together. A band is “something real”, and it will make it that much more special.

    Also, JTV.com has amazing deals on stuff. The mossinite is from C&C and i think is a better price.

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