- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
So FI told me about a month or so back to start planning the wedding. We have discussed the proposal, I don’t have a ring yet. We decided either no ring or that I’m waiting for the Amora Gem to come out, as long as it comes out this Nov.
My friend, who I’m MOH for, got engaged in April. I’ve helped her a ton already, she’s picked out the date, venue, dress, etc. Pretty much, everything but limo and DJ and BM dresses. I have another friend who is single.
When I started discussing wedding plans with them, I got the same response: “wait for a ring.”
I got really upset and told them both that I’m not waiting for a ring because we might not even be doing that. I didn’t discuss the possibility of Moissy or whatnot, just that for what I want out of a ring, I’d rather have that or not have anything at all if it means affording a better house or a new car or whatever, because these are things we’re going to need (we’re sharing 1 car now and it’s old and we’re going to need a 2nd car and this car will have to be upgraded – not necessarily a “brand new” car, but we’re going to have more expenses very soon).
So, now.. I’ve put my planning on hold. For some time, I just planning by myself, but lately have decided I’m no longer sure what I want and don’t feel supported by family and friends (other comments were said – we were discussing doing a destination wedding at first, then changed our minds, whatever the case may be, what I don’t want is a traditional lavish affair in a hall that costs $50k – which is normal in NY).
I am IN LOVE with the Enzoani dresses. I have not gone dress shopping, yet. I wanted to wait until my friend had hers before I talked about mine. I don’t want to “steal anyone’s thunder” by any means and I felt like maybe she was doing that because SHE had a ring, and I did not. However, there’s a trunk show coming up in Sept and my FI said that for my bday, he would take me dress shopping at the trunk show. I have NO problem going w/ my FI, in fact I’ve always said I wanted my FI to be there and help me pick my dress because I love his taste in clothes and I just can’t imagine picking a dress he ends up hating (I know, he’ll love it anyway – that’s not the post).
Essentially, I feel like I’m not really allowed to be planning my wedding or going wedding dress shopping just because I haven’t officially gotten a ring. I don’t feel like anyone is taking it seriously.
What should I do? Should I resume the planning? Should I go wedding dres shopping w/ FI and essentially, no one else? I think if I ask my mom to come, she will come. But my friends won’t be there and I feel like I would have liked that. Also, not sure how they’re going to react when I come back and say “I bought a dress” and they weren’t even there. I know I would be super offended if my friend went without me (her MOH) and bought her dress without even telling me and giving me the opportunity to come (not that she has to arrange her schedule around me, but would love to be there for that moment!).
Anyone else been in this position? Any words of advice or encouragement?