No room for friends in the bridal party?

posted 9 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
2794 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Why can’t they be invited to your hen if they are not bridesmaids? 


Id stick to just your sisters. They will understand family only bridal party. 

You can then ask them to support in other ways / have other roles. They could be witnesses or do readings in the ceremonies, act as MC during the reception etc. These are all honour roles that don’t require much if any work or for you to get them an outfit. 

Post # 3
937 posts
Busy bee

My SIL just had family members in her bridal party, but then asked her close friends (so your 6-7 friends) to all dress in  a bright red (which was the color of the bridesmaids dresses). Her friends weren’t required to do this, but it allowed my SIL to honor her friends that she was unable to have standing up in her bridal party.

Post # 4
6580 posts
Bee Keeper

I would keep your sisters as bridesmaids, but include your friends in a bachelorette. Why is it going to cost them so much? If you’re worried about costs, just do something local. 

Post # 6
47188 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have five sisters too. I didn’t ask any of them to be a bridesmaid because I would have had to ask them all. I asked my closest friends. My sisters were happy to be able to wear whaever they wanted to the wedding and not having to devote a good part of their day to getting ready and wedding party pics.

Post # 7
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Your bachelorette party does not need to require your guests, bridesmaids or not, to travel or spend an exorbitant amount of money. I had my cousins as bridesmaids and did not include any friends because I did not want a large bridal party. My friends still participated in my bachelorette. Some stayed in a hotel in the city, others just came in for the day. It was about an hour from where all friends live and no exorbitant costs involved. I’d temper your expecations about a destination bachelorette regardless of whether your friends are involved or not. 

Post # 8
3381 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I agree that 12 is just way too damn many.

I’d go with either all sisters or all friends, no combination.

But if you do choose to include friends, I’d reeeally think about who you are *actually* that close with. I don’t know how old you are, but women in their earlier 20s tend to think they have a big group of besties, because maybe you all hang out all the time and talk about all sorts of stuff, but the reality is that out of those 10 girls you think are all your “besties”, by the time you’re 30 you normally are only all that tight with a couple of them. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just normal. It’s just not realistic to sustain meaningful friendships with that many people. 

I can’t tell you how many of my friends and family members who got married under the age of 25 no longer hang out with half their bridesmaids. Some of them had falling outs, but most of them drifted apart. One of my cousins had a falling out with one of her bridesmaids like a month after her wedding before they’d even gotten photos back!

The more people you involve, the more likely you’ll find that there will be issues with some of them, whether between you and them or between each other.

Regardless of what you choose, there is no reason why you can’t have the other women at your bachelorette party. I’ve been to several bach’s that I wasn’t in the bridal party for. I’m pretty sure that’s the norm. 

And as for getting ready the morning of, there is no rule to say that only the bridal party can be in the room with you. If you wanna make a girls morning of it, do it!

Post # 12
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Just be honest with your friends and keep it to your sisters. But invite the girls to your bachelorette and maybe even a mani/pedi right before the wedding.

Post # 13
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

catqueen92 :  I had 11 bridesmaids. Everyone said I was ridiculous. But I couldn’t imagine my wedding day without all of them by my side. Was it ridiculous? Yep. Was it worth it? Every minute, every stress, every ping of anxiety, every extra dollar. It was all worth it. Given the opportunity to do it again, I wouldn’t change a thing, except telling them to find a floor length dress in the teal family, but that has nothing to do with the enormous wedding party. Also, we were looking at having 4 groomsmen to my 11 bridesmaid, and I was just fine with that. We ended up with 8 groomsmen, but it wouldn’t have mattered either way. 

Post # 14
3381 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

catqueen92 :  I think in your situation I would probably stick with the sisters-only then. Your friends will totally understand! Maybe morning of you can invite the friends to join you and your sisters for a couple hours before the ceremony for brunch and photos? I would probably try not to overdo how much to involve them in the getting ready routine though. Maybe you and your sisters get ready early, then you have the other girls join you in the bridal suite for pastries, fruit and mimosas and take a few fun photos before all heading out to the wedding 🙂

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