(Closed) No RSVP cards – How will they know the deadline?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

In my experience designing invitations all of my clients have requested that I put a “please kindly rsvp by” or something to that effect on the RSVP card or the invitation itself. As long as it’s worded nicely it doesn’t really detract from the invitation and if it’s designed properly it will just blend with the rest of the wording. 

Post # 3
3606 posts
Sugar bee

I would include a line on the invitation saying something like, “Please RSVP at [your website URL // RSVP tab]. The favour of a reply is requested by _____, 2016.” Alternatively, you could do a small insert with that information. I tried not to put too much text on my invitation because I didn’t want it to look cluttered, but I’m also doing a traditional mailed RSVP card. If I were doing online RSVPs I would probably opt for a separate insert with the information.

Post # 5
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Miami

View original reply
marriedtopizza:  If you’re using an online RSVP, I’d put the deadline wherever you’re putting the website.

Definitely do give a deadline. There will be some who don’t reply by it, and there are also some people who think not replying at all is how you decline. But for the most part people will reply by the deadline. But if you don’t give them one, you’ll be chasing down a lot more people for answers. Trust me,  you dont want to do that.

Post # 6
1692 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
marriedtopizza:  In theory, polite people already know that a) they have to actually reply to any invitation with a clear yes-or-no replay, and that b) they have to make that reply promptly, which means as soon as they have had a chance to check their social calendar. In this slightly-delusional theoretical world where I live, you don’t put “R.s.v.p. by 14 April” in small print on the bottom left corner of your invitation because that would suggest that your friends aren’t polite people, and you certainly don’t include R.s.v.p. cards and stamped envelopes because that would suggest that your friends are too indigent to provide their own stationery.

People who are more practical and less delusional than I am started putting “R.s.v.p.” in the lower right corner of invitations some time in the 1950s, and seem to have moved it to the left corner and added the due date some time in the 1970s. They started adding the rare fill-in-the-blank paperwork with stamped self-addressed envelopes in the 1960s and the practice became ubiquitous by the 1980s.

It is interesting to note that, as you yourself comment, none of these innovations has actually mitigated the deteriorating response rate, but it gives you a range of fully-traditional options that don’t involve response cards. I personally find that my 50+ crowd all send prompt notes of acceptance even without the “R.s.v.p.” reminder on the invitation, and my 25- crowd all send prompt text-messages or emails of acceptance. The in-between generation is less predictable.

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