(Closed) No RSVP date – on purpose?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think I read on here somewhere that not including the RSVP card is an old school thing.  Like people would write a letter back saying if they could come or not.  Maybe it’s a throw back to that?

Personally I want to make it as easy as possible for guests to RSVP, it’s hard enough to get them all in!

Post # 4
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Hmm that is strange, never heard or seen it before. I think @Natalieh86: could be right though that this is how it was done back in the day? 

Post # 5
1698 posts
Bumble bee

The only thing strange about this is that the request for a response was on a separate card. It would normally be on the bottom corner of the invitation card itself. It is not either a NYC thing or a new thing: it is an over-the-top formal thing. Those of us who routinely have formal non-wedding affairs never send response cards, and we routinely expect hand-written responses. In fact, certainly into the nineteen-eighties, even thoughresponse cards we common they were not everywhere and many folk found them rude.

If you want to impress yourfriend with an oh-so-formal reply, youwrite on the inside of a plain white fold-over note card:

Miss Stannie Sixteen

accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of

Ms Hostess

to attend the wedding of

Miss Bride and Mr Groom

on thus-and-so date.

You get extra marks if your formal name and optionally your address are engraved on the outside of your notecard. The lack of Rsvp date reflects the hostess’s expectation that you will reply as soon as you can, and not wait to see if a better offer comes up.

Post # 7
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We actually forgot to put it on our invitations, but FH found a way to add the date on the inside of the envelope with a clear label… Crisis solved because I was about to cry!

Post # 8
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

This is definitely a very formal thing to do. Just respond as soon as you can.

Post # 9
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Stammie16:  Definitely a formal, old fashioned way of responding.  You simply pull out stationary and mail a reply…graciously accept, regretfully decline.  I also think dates are considered uneccesary as you should reply as soon as you can. 

Post # 10
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

TECHNICALLY, proper etiquette says you’re not supposed to include RSVP “reply” cards, and that guests are supposed to write a letter accepting or declining the invitation, in a timely manner.

Never heard of it actually coming into practice, but seeing how many RSVPs don’t get returned anyways, I’m betting it won’t be much more of a hassle for the bride. : )

Post # 12
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

It’s super traditional. From what I understand, we use RSVP cards and dates because people can’t be trusted. Lol. You did well!

Post # 13
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Stammie16:  As some of the other bees have already correctly answered, NOT including any type of response card or response envelope is the very formal, traditional manner in which invitations are sent. I wanted to do this, but even the high-brow wedding etiquette experts with whom I consulted did not think that would be a wise idea in today’s world. Instead, I took this approach with the one couple whom I knew for sure would KNOW what to do (because that couple did this for their wedding), and I sent response cards and envelopes to every other guest/couple.

If the invitation you received contained an actual response card and envelope — but the response card was blank except for the wording you mentioned, this is considered to be a modern twist on that traditional idea.

Post # 14
43 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

This is all great information.  Thank you sooo much for posting and all the responses.  Noted in my mental filing cabinet. 🙂


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