Post # 1
I’m feeling a little upset today. We are less than a month out from the wedding, and only a week away from our RSVP deadline, but less than 1/3 of our guests have RSVP’ed. I understand that people might lose the invitation, forget to respond, or hold off until the last minute, but this is a lot of people! I feel like I wasted an invitation on relatives/friends who don’t even care enough about me to respond to my invitation.
Also, this Saturday is the first of two bridal showers (one by my mom, one a work shower) and almost nothing is bought off of our registries. I don’t feel bad that we won’t get a lot of gifts, but I feel like the hostesses (my mom and my boss) are going to be disappointed if lots of people don’t show up. Hardly anyone has RSVP’ed to either of these events, and my mom said she is going to call people today and tomorrow so she’ll have a ballpark figure for Saturday. She keeps going on about how this shower will really "set us up" and how we’ll get tons of presents because all of the people invited have gotten multiple wedding/bridal shower/baby shower gifts from our family. I feel like she’ll be really disappointed if people don’t show up or if we don’t get enough presents because she feels like it’s her responsibility to guarantee those things for her own daughter’s wedding.
I know this irrational, and that people not RSVP’ing probably has nothing to do with me personally, but I feel rejected. It’s like the people we thought strongly enough of to include in this big moment in our lives aren’t reciprocating those feelings. And I feel just terrible about my mom because she wants to give us this big experience, and I’m afraid it won’t live up to her expectations. The same goes for my boss if no one RSPV’s for her shower.
Have you had these moments where "no" RSVPs or late/missing RSVPs feel like a personal rejection? How do you deal with those momentary feelings that those special people in your life don’t care about your life or your wedding?
Post # 3
Hello Mrs. Spring,
I am so sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed and upset. Based on personal experience, I know for a fact that most people forget to send their rsvp back AND most people do not purchase shower gifts until a week before the wedding/event. Everything will be fine, believe me. You will get a ton of gifts and a ton of people will be attending your wedding. Most of the time, the people that can not go to events will rsvp immediately. The other people who plan to go, just wait until the last absolute minute to send in the rsvp card or do not even mail it back.
You should not be worrying about this right now. Your mom and maid of honor are the ones who needs to be making those calls to your fam and friends asking them if they plan to come to the shower & wedding.
Be happy. 🙂
Post # 4
For the showers- I don’t know what to say about people being rude and failing to RSVP, but in my experience, the vast majority of people wait until the last minute to purchase gifts for them (like Saturday morning before the shower). So seeing no change in the registry doesn’t mean people aren’t coming/aren’t bringing a gift.
As for wedding RSVPs- my wedding was a little unusual. It was kind of a desination wedding so I had communicated with all of my guests ahead of time to figure out how many rooms we needed, etc. So when they got the invites most of them already knew it was coming, had started making plans, etc. Otherwise I think it woudl have taken longer to get responses since people sometimes need to figure out their plans.
Do you have e-mail addresses for them? Could you shoot out a reminder about your deadline?
Post # 5
I’d give a couple more weeks to see if the RSVPs roll in. If not, call those you invited to confirm their attendance. I know this is what the RSVP is for, but some people honestly do forget to send them in. Remember to breathe!
Post # 6
Lol sounds like my wedding shower and wedding! Almost all of our gifts were bought 2 or 3 days before the shower! I was starting to uhhh ‘gentley stalk’ where we resgistered at. It helps not to look at it, even tho you might be REALLY curious, it will help cut down on the stress. And about half of the people didn’t RSVP to my up coming wedding, so I just guessed 80% of the guests would show and stopped stressing about it. Good luck and coongrats! Everything will turn out fine. Just like Mr. Chapel said Remember to breathe!!!
Post # 7
Awwwwwwwww that’s really sucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We handed out our invites 2 weeks ago and have only got 4 replies back. I personally hate it when people don’t RSVP to things…especially wedding things!!!! Even when I send out Evites for parties and stuff nonwedding related you can always see who’s viewed the invite but it’s like…why don’t you REPLY!!! If you’re unsure you can always hit the ‘maybe’ button you know????? I totally feel what you’re feeling!! I’m crossing my fingers for you and hoping that your guests are just last minute people! People should RSVP especially if they do NOT plan on attending. That way the bride and groom can send invites out to OTHER people to fill in the seats!!! Makes me MAD to think about how unresponsive people can be towards other people’s big day!!! *hugs*
Post # 8
Mrs. Spring, I can totally relate to how you’re feeling. Our wedding is less than one month away and our RSVP deadline was yesterday. Well, about 1/3 of our guests haven’t RSVPed! We did an online RSVP on our wedding website, half thinking it would be more environmentally friendly and convenient for everyone, but also recognizing that some guests might have issues with getting online, etc.
Well to our knowledge no one has really had issues with RSVPing online… We anticipated that alot of my FI’s family members couldnt make it since he’s from across the country, but I still expected RSVPs out of courtesy…no luck. Lots of people that I know are coming havent RSVPed either. I think most are just procrastinators who forgot the deadline was this week. Who knows.
At any rate, my mom is following up with the stragglers this week. It definitely sucks to have put that much time into making invitations and developing a website just to find that so many folks don’t even RSVP or look at the site, AND to have to spend time calling them to see whether they are going to make it…but they are important to me and I guess that’s reality.
I think alot of this planning stuff is purely for the bride!
Post # 9
Thanks for the support, hive! A good night’s sleep and then reading all of your replies this morning did make me feel a lot better. I think I’ll be taking some of your advice and 1) NOT checking my registry anymore! You’re right that the number of items bought does not mean no one will show up. 2) I will send out a reminder email, rosychicklet. I think that will kinda ease my mind (and provide a little less work in a week when our RSVP’s are all due!). 3) Let my mom deal with the wedding shower. If no one shows up I know she’ll take it personally, but I can probably distract her by having a really good time. Plus, hopefully if I keep playing up what a great shower it was, she won’t concentrate on the quantity, but the quality of guests.
Good luck to all of you who are dealing with this, too. I hope people get off their butts and start mailing back those RSVPs!
Post # 10
I Used to work at a kitchen store where we had registries, Sat morning before a girls shower we would get a bunch of things off the registry take the price tags off them and wrap them. Then when ALL the shower guests came in 2 hours before, they could pick something off the list and be good to go. It was like a pre shower shopping party sometimes!~
Post # 11
Lol, that’s pretty funny, vistagirl! I do feel a lot better that other people have had experiences where their shower gifts weren’t bought until a day (or hour!) before the party. Thanks for the reassurance!