- 5 years ago
Regular bee going anon due to sensitivity of topic.
My SO and I have been together for over 6 years. We recently moved in together. The problem is that we haven’t had sex for 6 months. In that time, a lot of things have happened, health wise and stress wise. SO was diagnosed with a couple of health issues that can affect libido, and which frequently leave him in pain. He also now has a hernia which needs to be addressed, but we’ve been so busy with the move that it hasn’t happened yet. We have had similar dry spells in the past – he is prone to depression and is a stress head.
I’m not climbing the walls in frustration like I was at that point (I think my own, previously high libido is plummeting), because I understand that his health problems are not his fault (genetic), but he also hasn’t been totally proactive in sorting them out either. I’ve been on his back to go have blood tests etc for his sake because I want him here for a long time, but he has extreme needle phobia which makes things hard. His condition/s will involve a lot of blood tests.
Our relationship is great otherwise, he’s very thoughtful, loyal and attentive, he really is a great guy. It was his idea for us to move in together. I miss the intimacy though, I’m not feeling at this point like I ‘need’ sex for the physical connection, I just miss that bond that is special for all couples, and I have no idea how to bring it up in a sensitive way in which he doesn’t feel attacked or pressured. He has a reverse wake/sleep cycle to me – he is a night owl, so it’s not like we’re laying in bed together with nothing happening – I’m usually asleep by the time he comes to bed.
How do I bring this up? Maybe something like ‘I miss being intimate with you’ and leave it at that? Because if I don’t say it, he doesn’t know, maybe he thinks I’m happy to just plod along? It’s a delicate situation and I’d appreciate some advice.