(Closed) no sex for sometime before the wedding? would it make it more special?

posted 10 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We’re definitely waiting. I said we’d stop a minimum of one month before, and I preferred 3 months. He was markedly not thrilled and thinks it won’t make a bit of difference in how special it is. Luckily, he got a job 1100 miles away so we won’t see each other again between now and the week of the wedding. It sucks, but no fighting about sex if we’re too far away for it to be an issue.

It was really important to me to have that wait. I can’t explain WHY, I just know it would take a lot of the special-ness out of it for me. I don’t want this to be just another night, except in a fancy hotel room, you know? Guys don’t seem to view it that way though. I wonder why such a difference?

Post # 4
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Everybody is different.  It’s not important to me and I’m not a guy 🙂  We aren’t doing any kind of hiatus — I figured, eh, we never wanted to wait for sex until we were married in general, and going without will probably make me MORE stressed the week/month/whatever before our wedding, haha.  I could see how to a lot of people taking a break would be very exciting and help them mark the occasion, but for us, it’s a non-issue.

Post # 5
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

We stopped the day after he proposed and are waiting until the wedding night.. so 6 months. I know it doesnt erase "not waiting" until marriage.. or other sins but I feel a little better about it.. plus I think it will make the night amazing.. kind of like rediscovering each other!

He wasnt thrilled, but has been completely supportive

Post # 6
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ha, interesting topic! For me, sex is the way I feel connected in our relationship. Without it, I feel more like a live in friend. I’m afraid that if we took a hiatus, I’d feel really disconnected from him and stressed the week before our wedding!

Post # 7
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We stopped a year before the wedding. I’m not sure if it’ll make it more "special" but with my health problems and crazy periods, I didn’t want to even risk getting pregnant. I know he’s REALLY looking forward to it. I think it’ll be like it was when we first started dating–"like rabbits" at first, probably during our honeymoon, and then we’ll taper off. It’s not that there aren’t other things you can do to keep your relationship going, but that’s just one small facet of it. A lot of my friends took a break before their wedding and they all told me it was worth it.

Post # 8
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We stopped 3 weeks before.  I don’t know if it made it more special, but it certainly made it easier to overcome our wedding night exhaustion!

Post # 10
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m glad i’m not the only one too shy to mention that . YOu all know it’s true…nobody wants to admit it though! LoL

Post # 11
Member
9 posts
Newbee

My fiance and I are both virgins, so yes, we’re waiting! And honestly, I want to wait until a little after that. With everything else going on then, I don’t want it to be one more thing to cross off the list. 

Post # 12
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

I wanted to stop three or four weeks before, but the most I could get him to agree to was 2!

Post # 13
Member
45 posts
Newbee

We waited for about a month, and honestly, I wish we wouldn’t have.  I don’t feel like it did anything for me besides make me more frustrated.  But I’m not that patient, and I have a pretty high libido.  I’m pretty sure that I would have wanted to do it just as much on the honeymoon if we hadn’t waited.  I was hoping it would make the wedding night more "special," but honestly, it wasn’t any different than all the other times that we’d done it.  And the wedding day was so good and so much fun that sex couldn’t even compare to it.  

Anyway, that’s just my perspective.  As someone who instituted this break before our wedding, I can see why other people might also like this idea and choose to go this route.  And, for some people, I’m sure it does make the wedding night more "special."  

Post # 14
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We’re planning not to have sex for 6 months before the wedding.  This starts in a couple of weeks.  I feel that it would make our wedding night more special and I think its a good thing that we get to express our love in different ways rather than having sex . 

Post # 15
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I got him to agree to not having sex for a month before the wedding.  But he’s definitely having his bachelor party before the month starts! 

Post # 16
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Waiting.

We have both been in other relationships and intimacy is important. However, we think that waiting is the right thing to do. We’ve been waiting a year and will wait until our wedding night.

I am 31 and he is 35, so this is a big deal, but he wanted me to feel like he loves me for me and not because of sex. It is actually hard for me as I find sex to a natural action but I understand where he coming from. We didn’t wait for anyone else, but we aren’t just anyone else to each other.

 

We have a whole lifetime ahead of us, but you don’t get to go back and work on emotional stuff. If you wait for the physical part you really cement the emotional part, and it’s that kind of connection that will endure any hardship a relationship throws your way.

 

 

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