(Closed) No Sex On Honeymoon?

posted 4 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 31
Member
6495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I think there’s an issue if you are already planning to avoid sex for an 18 day “honeymoon.” A honeymoon is supposed to be celebrating your union, which usually makes people want to have sex. Is the campervan the issue? Would you feel more likely to engage if you had better accommodations? If so, then change that. I don’t think it is fair to him at all to be planning to have a no-sex honeymoon. You don’t need to be up half the night every night, but I think it is fair for him to expect a fair amount of sex.

Post # 33
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

roses1400:  I think it doesn’t really matter what other have experienced…if you are expecting no sex and your Fiance is expecting lots I think  you are going to have a problem. 

I think you and your Fiance should talk more about your expectations for the honeymoon and find a trip that works for what both fo you want.  I also camp a lot and wouldn’t be interested in having a lot of sex without access to indoor plumbing.  But if sex is a high priority for your Fiance maybe you should change the plans so that you are in a more comfortable place to do so.

Post # 34
Member
949 posts
Busy bee

roses1400:  Our wedding night was definitely in my top 5 sexual experiences, ever. So yes, there is something magical about the wedding night. At least it was that way for us.

I had hoped that our honeymoon would be similar (we went somewhere new for both of us and splurged on our hotel). It probably would have been, if it wasn’t for the fact that I found out that one of my immediate family members had been diagnosed with a serious illness. I spent most of the trip either on tenterhooks for news about how things would proceed, and/or guilty for bailing out on the family at a time like that.

Post # 36
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

roses1400:  celebrating romantic love by doing the most intimate thing there is: sex.

Post # 37
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

You don’t HAVE to do it in the campervan and seclude yourself – sounds like you are going to some fun/outdoorsy places. Maybe surprise him and suggest enjoying some of your favorite places in a different way. 

Post # 38
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

“I would die if I missed anything”?  My partner and I recently went on vacation we stayed in a tent and went hiking most days. Apart from when we went hiking we had complete screen free time (didn’t use them hiking but took them anyway) we had nothing to do but keep each other company. We layed down for an hour at night after a long day just talking to each other, Too Much Information we broke our camp bed from having sex (not easy in a tent) had to sleep on the ground (not comfy) then hike again the next morning but I would have died if I didn’t have any intimate time with him , it really made our holiday.

I get that some people don’t have high sex drives but do think if you really can’t face it, you should have a little more consideration for your FH, what about what he wants? And not only that you would die if you missed seeing the sights than have sex with your new husband on your honeymoon, WHAT? 

Can’t you just please him? give him an awsome blow job, give home a nice massage after him walking all day? Have him give you one? Even if you off limit sex (which i dont agree with for hus sake if he wants it) at least please him. How old are you guys? 

Post # 40
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I agree with everyone’s comments on here. It sounds to me like this is YOUR bucket list vacation, so much so that you are planning ahead of time to disregard sex completely from your honeymoon because you don’t want to miss anything. I think that you need to look at the bigger picture. The entire point of the honeymoon is to spend time with you’re new husband and celebrate and feel connected to him, both physically and emotionally. This does not mean that you need to have sex all the time, but especially for an 18 day long honeymoon, it is reasonable for your SO to expect at least some sex during this time. I find it odd that you are already planning ahead and thinking about not having sex at all during this time. Relationships take work to maintain and that means that even when you are tired, you try to make an effort to make your partner happy and also yourself. How can you even anticipate being too tired for sex way ahead of time? I think maybe you need to seek therapy with your fiancee to try to rekindle your sex life before the honeymoon so that no one ends up unhappy or disappointed and you can both enjoy your honeymoon filled with both adventure and intimacy. 

Post # 41
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

roses1400:  ok basically you either have always or just in recent years due to hormonEs do not desire sex or enjoy it that much. That’s fine a lot of people are the same and I’ve gone through that whereby I almost rolled my eyes when a partner smiled a cheeky and what at the time I felt annoying smile and went – sexy time! But I realised I was irritated when hugging was leading not just to a hug and intimacy like that but sex. I think that’s what you feel. The thing is he doesn’t and compatability in all areas, your views, your hope and dreams, wether you want public displays of affection or not do matter and do either create a unity or chip away at the foundations.

i kind of feel sorry for him as it also sounds like he is so excited as he thinks NOW you may finally be to. He reveres you and your body, loves you physically, you are still attractive after years togther to him and turn him on, remember that and value it. I think rather than thino how not to have sex think about ways to get you in the frame of mind and mood to have it occasionally …you are abroad, a special trip that for you is about the place and for him it’s about you and the place so let him also get his dream holiday and in the process maybe you will fall in sync with his Rythem and actually enjoy that connectedness. 

Post # 42
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I would loooovvveeeee an 18 day long trip with only my husband out in the wilderness! So fun

I have a pretty low sex drive and so does my husband but we are going on our honeymoon in June and its packed with activities and going to be pretty tiring but we are DEFINITELY going to be having intimate time!  It’s our honeymoon!  Most of our trips are full of adventures and we aren’t too romantic but we are making a point of turning this into a romantic trip to celebrate our marriage!

Just be open to it and go with the flow

Post # 44
Member
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

And thisbis why Fiance and I are plannimg to not have sex for like a month before the wedding cause by the time the wedding rolls aroumd we will be living together 5 years… so if we create a sex deficit for like a month well be so much into into after the wedding 🙂

Post # 45
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

roses1400:  One question you don’t seem to have answered: is your unequal sex drives an ongoing theme in your relationship? Does it cause other problems? Surely your Fiance knows by now that you prefer doing almost anything else to having sex, so I wonder why he thinks your honeymoon is going to be “sex sex sex”?

As to the issue of a no sex honeymoon, I cannot sympathise. But of course it isn’t a problem if both partners are on the same page. Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

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