(Closed) No Show Bridesmaids

posted 11 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know it’s hard, but I think you need to cut them some slack–especially if they’re out of town.  Weddings are expensive and there is enough chaos going on in every day life that sometimes things come up and you just can’t swing it.  I called my little bro yesterday to say I realized we can’t come visit him at college this semester because I have a major event at work every other weekend until basically December 15.  Do I wish I could go visit?  Absolutely, but I can’t.

In any event, if you haven’t expressed to these two BMs that you wish they were particpating in one of these events, I’d do that.  Maybe you can do something with the three of you, or special with your maids once they’re in town for the wedding, even if it’s a rocking pre-wedding night game of scrabble, not a trip to a nightclub.

Post # 4
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That’s happened in two of the wedding I’ve been in recently. As a fellow Bridesmaid or Best Man and a Maid/Matron of Honor, it’s really frustrating. It’s like come on! You can make it happen for at least one event?

Post # 5
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Sometimes bridesmaids just plain suck. I’d just try not to let it bother you… tough as that will be. You have lots of people who love you (2 showers!) and what sounds like a fab MOH!

Post # 6
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i dont want to make generalizations, but are these 2 BMs younger, like under 22? I think sometimes, younger BMs dont really know all of the expectations. Or, are you the first in your social circle to get married? They really just might not ‘know’. like bach party night before the wedding? seriously? im gonna be up all night drinking befor ethe wedding i have spent the last 6 months working to look perfect for? maybe have a light hearted discussion with them about how disappointed you are…but in general, dont stress yourself out with only 1 month to go.  Take hert in the fact that one day they’ll get married and be embarrased by how crappy they behaved as BMs.

Post # 7
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

It sounds like it might be a case of them just not knowing what’s typically expected of BMs (expecting the bachelorette to be the night before the wedding is a huge red flag). Money concerns may also be an issue.

Having a talk with them may sort it out – if it’s a case of just not knowing, then problem solved. If it’s a money thing, you’ll have to let it go – if they are there for the wedding, that’s what matters.

Post # 8
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

As one of the first people in my circle to get married, I felt like some of my friends had no idea what was going on! My husband is 3 years older than I am and I felt like his male friends had a better idea of what was going on than my female friends!!! Talk about frustrating! I found that a quick email to two of my bridesmaids to express to them how I was feeling like they were too busy for me, really helped them to understand what I needed from them.

Post # 9
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry to hear that 2 of your girls haven’t made it to 2 bridal showers and won’t make your bachelorette. Are they from OOT? Regardless, you have a right to be bummed. I would say just enjoy your bachelorette no matter what, and thank goodness neither of these girls are your Maid/Matron of Honor and supposed to be ‘running the show!’

Post # 10
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’ve only been a bridesmaid 3 times, but I have to say that I hate going to bachelorette parties. It’s not just the money I have to spend, it’s such a pain traveling and spending the entire day, night sometimes weekend devoted to the bachelorette party. It’s just exhausting!

That being said, the only bachelorette party I missed as a bridesmaid was when I was under 21 and couldn’t get into the places they were going.  I even attended one where I had to drive 5 hours each way and had an awful case of streph throat! Being a bridesmaid in my opinion is agreeing to be selfless and help celebrate someone you love during the most important time of their lives. I don’t think all bridesmaids ‘get’ this and that is very unfortunate.

Since you asked them and they agreed, I think all you can do is just let it go and don’t expect much from them besides attending the wedding. YOu are lucky to have a great Maid/Matron of Honor and two showers in your honor!

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