(Closed) No Shower?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am alittle confused also with your parents not wanting you to have the shower.  I like the ideas that the two of you came up with and I would just go ahead and have your shower.  Don’t let someone else convince you that you don’t need one, it is one of those things that so many brides look forward too.  Don’t cheat yourself out of it.

Post # 4
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Have they said anything else? I’m wondering if they know something you don’t?

Post # 5
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I really have no idea.  I’m not sure why your parents don’t think you should have one – maybe they really are serious about not wanting people to buy gifts, but that’s not their decision to make.  It’s up to the guest.

By the way, if you haven’t sent the invitations yet, please don’t actually put “no gifts” on them.  Like I said, it’s up to the guest to bring a gift or not, and mentioning gifts at all on an invite is kind of taboo.  You can definitely have your maid of honour call a few people and spread the word that gifts aren’t necessary, though!  (Then again, isn’t the point of a bridal shower to SHOWER the bride?)  Maybe she can theme the shower in such a way that the gift options will be much cheaper for those who insist on bringing one?

One more thing, just fyi, you mentioned that you assumed anyone bringing a gift to the shower wouldn’t bring one to the wedding.  I don’t know what’s typical where you live, and I certainly don’t monitor the gifts people bring to showers and weddings where I am, but for what it’s worth, I personally don’t like to arrive empty-handed.  I bring gifts to both.  Does that help?

Post # 7
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Well, it is kinda close to the wedding, but really as long as you don’t have a ton of out of towners (and no one is FORCING people togo, you know?) a recipe party seems like a great idea. I was thinking more along the lines of maybe they’ve been talking to people and “people’ haven’t been big on the shower idea. Who knows.

Post # 8
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My first thought was maybe they are planning a surprise shower. But if you really don’t think that is them then I don’t understand their feelings. But IMO a shower is also something you only ever get once so I don’t think you should miss out on it because your parents don’t think you should have one. You should go ahead with your plans and have a great time. And by the way I definitely don’t think the dates are too close together.

Post # 9
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@tseay: You’re welcome! 

I don’t think the dates are too close together.  It’s closer than I usually see, but I honestly don’t see why it matters.  I think it’s nice you’re getting a shower, you should enjoy it.

Post # 10
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Can Maid/Matron of Honor not use the word shower on the invites?  Use ‘Recipie swap for Tseay!’ instead.

Maybe your parents have gotten comments from people?  Or heard comments about other peoples showers?

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a shower in our current economic climate, but then I also don’t feel pressure to bring gifts (or expensive gifts anyway).  So I don’t think you need to feel guilty!  And having a recipie swap sounds like a great idea 🙂

Post # 12
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

What about hosting it as a kitchen tea? Then people bring recipes or a small gift for you like tea towels or measuring cups etc. My cousin did this. And play posh lady games lol

Post # 13
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@tseay:  i totally understand how you feel about wanting a shower, not to be showered, but to play shower games, be excited about your wedding and have fun!  i am having a shower for the same reason.  i can’t get tangible gifts because i just moved out of my hometown and am having my shower during the holidays. i certainly cannot bring gifts back on the plane with me!  i almost considered telling my Maid/Matron of Honor not to plan a shower for me, but in the end i was in the camp of “its only once in my life that i get to have a shower”

to solve the gift issue, my Maid/Matron of Honor is asking for contributions for a nice camera. that way people can give money for it or not and in whatever amount they wish to do.  and i can easily pack the camera to take back home. it also “fit” with my wedding theme since i am having a destination wedding and i will need a camera to take to Jamaica!

so basically i think you are fine to have a no gift shower. but seriously, like PPs have said, its the guests to decision to come to the shower, to bring a gift or not, and how much to spend.  no one forces anyone into anything. i also, like a PP, bring gifts to both. but also i am full time student and so spend as little as $20 on the shower gift. but at least i am giving something, right?!

Post # 14
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

oh and i don’t think feb 19 is too close to the wedding, i never of rules about how close to the wedding to have a shower!  i went to new zealand for a wedding a couple of years ago and the shower was less than a week before because the brides family and friends were only able to attend when they flew down for the wedding. and for non-destination weddings i have seen showers and bachelorettes on the same day very close to the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Sounds great!  I’m glad you’re at peace with it.  Sounds like a good time 🙂

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