(Closed) No shower and no bach party? :(

posted 6 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Should I ask my BMs to host a shower and a bach party? (Please read the post)
    Yes, talk to BMs : (18 votes)
    78 %
    No, avoid bringing it up : (5 votes)
    22 %
    Host your own shower/party : (0 votes)
    Other, I will explain : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee

    You said that your sister is your Maid/Matron of Honor, right? Can you tell her that you want the “American” wedding with a shower and bachelorette and let HER bring it up to your BM’s? It sounds like they would fully support it happening, but perhaps need someone to get the collective ball rolling!

    Your sister or one of the BM’s could hold an intimate shower at somone’s house – your Maid/Matron of Honor should be the one spear-heading the planning process though (my Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister and she is planning the shower – that’s perfectly acceptable these days)!

    Post # 4
    853 posts
    Busy bee

    I think you should let them know that you would love to have a shower and bachelorette! Say that you looked into it though, and that it’s considered rude to host your own, and that traditionally, the bridesmaids or Maid/Matron of Honor host these events. I would explain that because your Maid/Matron of Honor is not in Canada and it wouldn’t be possible for her to host, if they would be willing? I think that you can do this in a polite way, and sort of leave it up to them, if it’s something they would like to organize.

    Post # 5
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    yes, talk to them. by your own admission, you are all learning North American customs, and so it’s not something they expect. if you want them to throw you these parties, you are going to have to ask. If it maybe seems like too much, combine them!

    you can all meet in the late afternoon or for dinner and do the “shower” part, and then go right into an evening or bachelorette festivities! then people might feel less time committed. 

    but trust me, be clear, and be asserive, without being rude or bossy, because that is the only way they will know what you want, and it will be better for eveyone.

    Post # 7
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    This is tricky, right? I was kind of on the other end of this last year – one of my best friends is Romanian, and had planned a traditional Orthodox ceremony and a traditional American reception. There were more Romanian traditions that she used than American, so we were all very surprised when she said that she was upset that we hadn’t planned a shower or bachelorette for her.

    You have plenty of time to explain the tradition to them and why it’s important to you – you might have to help plan more than you’d expect, but I’m sure you’ll have some awesome parties 🙂

    The topic ‘No shower and no bach party? :(’ is closed to new replies.

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