Post # 1
…is this normal? My shower was last weekend because my mom and sister could fly out over Easter weekend. (I don’t live where I grew up). They put together a great shower for me, which was hosted at the home of my fiance’s mom and grandmother! 🙂
My sister is my Maid of Honor and she was absolutely fabulous. She and my mom did the whole thing and it was awesome– book-themed, because I like to read, and totally decorated in my colors etc.
My sister-in-law couldn’t come but she sent a gift and provided the shower favors (fancy bookmarks :)). My one in-town bridesmaid came and is sending a gift with another friend (it got delayed in the mail).
My other four bridesmaids all live out of state and I didn’t expect them to come to the shower but I thought they might want to be involved somehow. My sister asked them if they’d like to particpate and sent them an invite but never heard anything, not even a “no” RSVP (except for one of them who she bugged because I’m closest to that friend and we thought she might be in town for the shower but she wasn’t). I had a great shower and am trying to focus on the positive but I’m a little hurt that they didn’t even text or send a card etc. I don’t know if this is normal or if my girls are flakey or what?
Post # 3
since most bridesmaids have to shell out a lot of cash for the wedding (dress, alterations, travel…) they’re usually not expected to give a gift.
we told our wedding party not to give us anything, but my bridesmaids gave us gifts anyway.
but i understand feeling a little upset that your bridesmaids didn’t seem to care at all- i’d be a little hurt too.
Post # 4
I think your bridesmaids should have RSVP’d, but bridesmaids already commit a bunch of their time and money for your wedding, So I don’t think they are responsible for buying you a gift.
Post # 5
Ok this is good to know, I feel better now. 🙂 I have always gotten a gift for my friends whether I’m their bridesmaids or not, and contacted them on the day of their shower to say “I hope you have a blast and I’m sorry I can’t be there,” so I thought it meant they weren’t thinking of me.
I am having them wear their own black dress and buying their shoes and accessories, and paying for their hotel room the night of the wedding, so as not to financially inconvenience them.
However most of them still have to buy plane tickets and I know those are pricey! I guess I should have titled my post differently because it’s not the gift I care about so much as the recognition/thought, to let me know they’re thinking of me, however I know they are or they wouldn’t have agreed to be bridesmaids and be in the wedding. 🙂
Post # 6
I think a text saying have a fun shower would have been nice, but I wouldn’t expect a monetary gift or multiple plane trips within a short period. Try not to take it personally maybe they just blanked on the day.
Post # 7
As a bm even if I contribute $300 towards a shower I still bring or send a gift. I think its super rude that they didn’t even bother to rsvp.
Post # 8
@SWwed: I understand you being hurt that no one reached out to say that they are thinking of you on the day of the shower. It truly is the thought that counts, so I understand feeling hurt that they didn’t call or say they wish they could be there. Please try not to feel badly though, because some people simply aren’t as thoughtful as others, and it may have never occurred to them to reach out. If that is the case, it is more of a reflection of their own preoccupation with themselves than it is a reflection on their feelings about you.
Post # 9
It is usually expensive to be a bridesmaid, so gifts from the bridal party are not expected.
Post # 10
Yes they should have RSVP’D but I think that because of the money bridesmaids spend for the privilage I don’t think you should expect a gift! And they have agreed to be there for your day, to FLY out to your wedding, so dont feel like theyre not thnking of you.