No shower, no bachelorette…what to do?

posted 1 year ago in Parties
Post # 31
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Don’t let the wedding industry tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Not everyone has a Bachelorette or bridal shower and not everyone wants them! Personally, I am having a non-traditional bachelorette and going camping with a few of my friends. I never saw the purpose in bridal showers and skipping this entirely!

I will say though, having no friends at all is not a good place to be, whether or not you are on the spectrum or feel like you need them. It’s not healthy to rely on your SO for all your needs, and we all need people we can rely on occasionally. It sounds like your childhood was rough, and you’ve had some bad experiences with people who turned out to be less than genuine, but that’s no reason to stop trying. It’s a numbers game, making friends- you have to put yourself out there over and over until something sticks. 

Post # 32
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My shower and bachelorette were like 80% family, 20% friends. Do you have relatives that you enjoy spending time with? (Aunts, Cousins, Etc)

Post # 33
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

View original reply
lovelyeveey :  I didn’t have a bachelotte or bridal shower and I didn’t miss it or feel like I missed out on anything. I don’t think you’re going to feel like you missed out on anything.  They are just extra parties and expenses. Don’t feel pressured to have one just because others had one or someone thinks you should have one.

Post # 34
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I didn’t want a shower or bachelorette and made it very clear to my friends and family not to throw me any extra parties. There was nothing to cope with since I didn’t want it in the first place.

What is bothering you about this? It doesn’t sound like you have any interest in these parties either so just don’t do it and enjoy your wedding! 

Post # 35
Member
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I had no shower or bachelorette, due to the logistics of living in a different country from most of my family and friends. It was honestly no big deal.

Post # 36
Member
2723 posts
Sugar bee

It sounds like you don’t really WANT those parties, but feel the absence of them because they’re common. Bachelorettes and showers are definitely not obligatory, and they’re not fun for everyone.

I didn’t want to have a shower because I hate the attention, but I was pressured into it by my family and lo and behold – it was awkward and uncomfortable and a lot of work that I didn’t want to do.

On the other hand, my husband and I both think bachelor(ette)s are kind of dumb so we just had a weekend away together with our closest friends. I had way more fun with our joint bachelor(ette) than the shower because we made it into something that felt like us, rather than just doing what’s traditional.  

Figure out what YOU want to do and who you want to celebrate it with. You can create alternative versions with your dad or other family, or you can create alternatives with your fiance.  

Post # 37
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
lovelyeveey :  I didn’t have a bridal party, didn’t have a bachelorette, didn’t have a shower. In my opinion there is nothing to “cope” with. I didn’t want them. I didn’t have them. I moved on with my wedding planning/life.

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