(Closed) no shows… and no card, no gift… and no card/gift from wedding party people

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Are the guys single? Because the lack of a card would not surprise me at all if thats the case.

I’m the same way as you about cards so I get why you’re disappointed but I still wouldn’t say anything. 

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would let the bridal party thing go. They probably didn’t consider how important a card would be to you, and I think a lot of people do assume that the tux rentals/bachelor party or whatever else they did covers their gift.

I’m not sure what your relationship to your musicians is, but I’m guessing they’re not just your vendors, right? 

I know it’s disappointing when you don’t get gifts/cards from people you expected them from, but I wouldn’t say anything. Just try to move on.

Post # 5
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Some people just don’t know wedding ettiquette. Hey, I didn’t even know a lot of it before I started planning. Don’t bring it up and I wouldn’t take it personally. Some people just don’t know better.

Post # 6
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

None of our groomsmen got us anything, but it doesn’t bother me… I actually didn’t realize it until I read this post.  Each of them expressed how happy they were to be a part of our big day and that means a lot to me.  I understand your point tho.  It’s nice to have the cards as a memory. I don’t think guys think about that stuff, honestly.  I think you should try to not let it put a damper on the memories of your happy day! 

Post # 7
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - The Old Field Club

My Fiance was in a wedding this summer and if not for me being his date he wouldn’t have known to bring a card (though we ordered a gift off the registry before the wedding).  Guys just don’t know…

Post # 8
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Miss Wallaroo: “I don’t really care about material things. If they considered being a part of the wedding their gift to us, that is fine with me. But the LEAST you can do…….”

 

lol..?

Anyways. I don’t see that it’s a very big deal.

Post # 9
Member
46411 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think this is just a reflection of the genereal increasing disregard for etiquette. Ther are many bees who have openly stated they are ignoring many aspects of traditional etiquette.

It is no surprise to me that our guests will do it too.

Post # 10
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@leafgum: agree and I also agree some bees are right in saying not everyone knows the wedding ‘rules’, especially singles or people who have never been to many weddings. Awkward, yes a little. True. Absolutely. I bet this happens to every bride if not ever other bride in some way or another. 

 I would just extend these people some grace, especially your pregnant friend. If I were tossing cookies all night or day or whatever happened, I certainly wouldn’t be in the mindset I have to let so-and-so know I’m missing their wedding. Rude, maybe a little bit. But I think that’s a legit excuse. 

Post # 12
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’ve had the same thing happen, both ppl not showing up and not giving a call or card. Rude, nothing you can do.  Not everyone realizes how important “our day” is in all reality.  You have to just let it go.  I have finally.

Post # 13
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Miss Wallaroo:

Calm yourself. The quote was funny because it seemed like a total contradiction. Now I see that you’re talking about gift cards. Anyways with an s, I just think you’re being a little picky here. You don’t care about gifts or anything but you expect at least a card. Why expect anything besides their lovely presence? It’s not like they’re trying to be rude, so why is it such a big deal?
We are obviously in two different worlds here, so anywayssssss…..just doesn’t make much sense to me why you can’t just you know..get over it

Post # 14
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Carolyn72: I second this. We live in a very selfish culture, not all wedding guests are going to realize their actions are rude or insensitive. I’m sorry this happened. but it did :/ I would just tell myself they didn’t know how they were offending you and move on. Focus on the wonderful people that DID make your day so special, including your family/friends/husband. 

Post # 15
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

I really get tired of people giving all men a pass on not knowing anything. Don’t they ever think to just ASK somebody what they should or need to do for a big event?

If they really don’t know, maybe you’d be educating them by mentioning in an offhand way that you were surprised they didn’t think to get you a card for your memory book. I’m guessing that maybe the next time they get invited to a wedding they might be more thoughtful.

Post # 16
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@jo.lee: I agree. I was a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding a few years ago, and honestly, I didn’t even think to get them a gift. But then again, I was 18 at the time and not very aware of wedding gift ettiquette and whatnot. All three of us BMs pitched in and threw her a bachelorette party, so I guess we kind of considered that her gift. If it were now, I’d probably get the couple a gift anyway.

I’m sorry that your feelings are hurt. I would definitely be upset about the RSVP-yesers and then no-shows.

The topic ‘no shows… and no card, no gift… and no card/gift from wedding party people’ is closed to new replies.

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