(Closed) No Shows? RVSP No and showed?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We had a couple of people back out at the last minute- thankfully just before we had to give the venue the final numbers.

We also had one guest who kept saying, "maybe" and then didn’t wind up coming.

Otherwise we didn’t have anyone come at the last minute (except for a cousin who said her babysitter cancelled and brought her son that I had repeatedly told her was not invited when she rudely asking if she could bring him).

We also didn’t have anyone show up unexpectedly.  I think it helped that our wedding was a semi-destination wedding- a minimum 2 hour drive for out closest guests.

But I have been to several weddings where many of the guests were local and at 2 different weddings there were lots of people (a dozen or more) that just didn’t show up at the last minute.  Some people had emergencies and sent word to the bride and groom.  Others were just jerks and said nothing.

However, the majority of local weddings I’ve been to have had nearly 100% of guests show up.  I can’t recall people unexpectedly showing up.

People not showing up just stinks and wastes money.  A few people showing up at the last minute is not that big a deal.  Just have someone tell the catering manager where to put a few extra seats.  There’s usually enough extra food to go around (and chances are a few people will cancel last minute, so the unexpected guests could just take their places).

Post # 4
31 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

It is a constant problem…

At my daughters wedding: 5 now shows for 165 total.  We lost all the $$$

At my own wedding 3 no shows for 60 total.  We lost the $$ too

Just count on this happening.  Do not let it get to you!  (that is the most important thing).  Unless they have a VERY good excuse (I mean they are in the intensive care unit of a major trauma hospital) I would not consider them my friends for the future.


Post # 6
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

I had about 25 people RSVP yes and then either didn’t show up or cancel the night or two before (which is too late to revise the meal count).  However, my reception was in December and there was a forecast of a major snowstorm.  While the snowstorm did not hit until a little bit after midnight, some people stayed home because they were nervous, some were traveling from areas where the snowstorm has already hit (and couldn’t get out), and some had holiday plans to fly the next day after my reception and were forced to switch to earlier flights (before my reception).  If you only count the number of people who completely "flaked" out (didn’t show up and didn’t even tell us that they weren’t showing up), it was about 10 out of 260 attending guests.  We didn’t have people who RSVP’d ‘No’ and then showed up (and no wedding crashers either). 

Post # 7
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

One person out of 48.  She didn’t show to my shower either and it really ticked me off that she didn’t come to the wedding.  When you only have fifty people total in your venue and a guest (+1) doesn’t show, your table has a huge gap.  She didn’t even have a good excuse. 

Post # 8
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I had one guest that did not make it due to last minute passport issues. My photographer was suppose to bring one assistant but ended up bringing two, so that extra meal went to him. Worked out great.

My wedding was very small to begin with – 35 guests.

Post # 9
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am already anticipating frustration over this.  I live in NY but my wedding is in my home state.  I think the issue will be with family who live about an hour and a half from the wedding site.  I can see some of them RSVP’g yes and then deciding the day of that they don’t feel like making the drive.  Some of them didn’t show to my cousin’s wedding and it was in the same town where they live.

If someone is still on the fence leading up to the wedding, I think the chances of them actually coming are slim.  I am not going to count those people in the numbers. 

Post # 10
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Our wedding is in England, and 90% of the guests are coming from the States, so unless they decide to book a plane ticket the day before…I doubt we’ll have any unexpected people showing up! Ditto with people not showing. I mean, who would buy a plane ticket and then not come?!

Post # 11
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m hoping that this doesn’t happen for my own wedding, but there is always the chance. I was mad for the bride at a recent family wedding (she is my cousin) because there is a cousin and his wife (who she invited) that randomly RSVP’d for themselves, as well as their son, his wife, and their two kids! This cousin is not particularly close to them and imagine her surprise when an RSVP card for 2 came back with 6!

Here’s the kicker: She was a great sport about it and treated the situation as "the more, the merrier". However, only my cousin and his wife (the original ones invited) and one of their granddaughters showed up. So they RSVP’d for 3 people not on the invite, who didn’t ultimately end up showing up!! I’d be furious if I had included them in my count! (and I actually was pretty upset with my cousin that night – I didn’t know people in my own family would be THAT impolite!)

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