(Closed) No social media posts during the wedding…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 152
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@BooRadley:  I understand, but I wanted to address the issue for safety. I felt it needed to get out there. Smile

Post # 153
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I don’t mind if people post pics of themselves at the reception, but not to post pics of my wedding during the ceremony.  It’s something I myself or my FH would like to do on our own (he is a photographer!), so I understand the poster’s concern.  Plus, I think it is extremely rude for people to be checking their phones constantly during the ceremony.

I actually had an incident when I became engaged.  I was engaged on Christmas, and my sister was there.  She took a pic of the ring, and posted it to Facebook before I had a chance to say a word!  These days everyone seems to think anything that happens is their news to tell.  Manners are still manners.

Post # 154
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh my word.

What if the bride isn’t on facebook (I stopped reading after page 3)?

There is a bride who has posted her dress regret story on the bee and its ALL OVER. All over Pinterest, all over the internet, etc. Regardless of the fact that she posted it herself, this could happen to anyone. Its a common courtesy not to post pictures of other people without their permission. How would you feel if you just had a new baby and those coming to see the baby took pictures and posted them online? I, personally (as a mother), would feel incredibly violated. There are a lot of people who don’t live by facebook, so its understandable they prefer their pictures not be posted (coming from someone who could give a rats behind if guests did). Even if they are, its a reasonable request and honestly its sad that people have to be told this :/

Post # 155
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with you. I dont want people taking pictures and posting them on social media at my wedding either. I will have an unplugged sign as well as have our officiant make an announcement. Just because I’ve invited you to share in my wedding doesnt mean you can share it online with all of yours friends. However, I am private and dont post pictures on social media anyways. 

Post # 156
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Totally NOT controlling, I completely plan on having an unplugged ceremony as well. If you’re doing programs, just print something on it there… the whole, “Please enjoy this intimate moment with us” kinda thing and call it a day.

We’re not doing programs, but the ushers will ask everyone to not take pictures as they seat people, and the officiant will ask the same before the processional begins.

Good luck!

Post # 157
Member
452 posts
Helper bee

Wait – I don’t think the OP asked whether she SHOULD ask people, she asked HOW she should ask people. I wish this place was a little more supportive, it makes me afraid to post something if people are going to give their 2 cents on something someone didn’t even ask about!!!

If you want to know HOW to do it OP, I think the chalkboard idea is the cutest. I won’t give my opinion on whether it is controlling or lacks etiquette or not because you didn’t ask for it. Smile

Post # 158
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I read most of the responses, mostly becuase I think it’s kind of funny how snippy people get. I have a very different take on the issue than most posters. This may be becuase I am a “baby bride” and have grown up with  everything being posted to social media. I have always lived wjth the fact that if pictures are being snapped they are probably going onto facebook. I have never been asked my permission if someone can post my picture. Most of my friends don’t post pictures of eachother looking awful though, so there is some discrection. 

Maybe because of growing up in this world, I don’t have that large of a concern about this issue. As long as my address isnt posted aling with my photos I am fine. Like I said, I expect anywhere I go where pictures are taken that they will end up on social media.

Post # 159
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cantonbride:  You made me laugh. Lol. 😉 

View original reply
@RaysBride89:  Hmmm… I’m totally torn on this! In your own home, I could see asking people to do something. But you are in a public place, save an old church with relics that cannot be photographed. Like you don’t own the space. It’s like the creepy men that take pics of women in public… They can’t be arrested because their subjects are in a public place. 

But I also see your point about unflattering pics. 

 

I like the idea of an “unplugged” wedding if you like, but a reception might be pushing it. But then again it’s your body, face, etc. 

 

I hope you figure something out that works for you! 🙂

Post # 160
Member
32 posts
Newbee

i don’t think the OP’s request makes her controlling. she just doesn’t want HER pictures plastered in several sites without her permission. she’s not saying that guests can’t upload pictures of themselves. i think it’s a legit concern.

 

i like the please unplug notes/signs! 

Post # 161
Member
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s legit to ask people not to take photos during the ceremony and not to post photos of you to social media. Beyond that, you probably are overstepping your bounds. There’s certainly some people who may disrespect your wishes, but I would think most people will understand. I post a ridiculous amount to FB/IG/Pinterest and I would certainly comply with that request.

Post # 162
Member
1502 posts
Bumble bee

What this is really about is being a polite guest.  People have different views on things and that is what makes the world go round- we should respect people’s views and differences even when we don’t always agree with them.  To me, if I am a guest at your wedding and you ask me to not post photos of you, I am a rude guest if I don’t comply.  It’s not my wedding, so my opinion doesn’t matter- I should honor your wishes.  It’s the same as when a bride leaves disposable cameras on the tables and asks me to take photos… If you want photos, then I will take photos because I am YOUR GUEST.  If you don’t want me to post photos, then I won’t post photos because I am YOUR GUEST.

My father is a minister and he actually gets upset by people taking too many photos during religious ceremonies.  To him, it detracts from the spiritual element of the ceremony.  People may have serious reasons for no photo policies, as well as shallow ones.  It’s not our job to judge their reasons.  As a guest, our job is to be supportive. 

If you don’t like someone enough to respect their wishes, why are you at their wedding?

Post # 163
Member
24 posts
Newbee

Of course you can do this! It’s your wedding, and it’s a matter of respect. I asked people not to post on FB, especially since there were elderly family and children, and people who just wouldn’t want to have their pictures on social media.

Unless people are petty and only think of themselves, they will not think your request unreasonable.

Post # 164
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Ok, I also have to state my opinion.

I think it is incredibly RUDE to post pictures of a special event to facebook, twitter, etc if it is not your PERSONAL event. If you are posting of yourself at the event, totally different story. It is your page, you can post your own image. I think the whole social media scene has completely changed what used to be considered proper etiquette and completely disregards privacy. If I was asked not to post pictures of the ceremony on facebook I would never see that as controlling/bridezilla behavior. The OP did not say she did not want them to take pictures, but rather just not post them. How is that considered being rude?

and @JaneyDcat +111111111111111111111111111

Post # 165
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Love this post.  I’m getting married in 21 days and an unplugged wedding is exactly what I want for the day.  I don’t need to have 50 of my closet friends plus 500 of their closets friends who I don’t know, being nosey and being able to see what happened on my day. 

Post # 166
Member
10284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m shocked by some of the responses here And yes, i read them all. fyi, Facebook used to claim to own all of the pictures posted on it, and can use them for any purpose — I just got a notice from some lawsuit against fb about this issue, not sure where it stands now, but for safety, I don’t post anything there that I don’t want the world to see.

 Clients and employers search your fb. 

OP, Its your wedding, do what you want. I would leave out the part about your approval, and just ask that pictures be shared intimately and with respect for your privacy. a site with a password is a great idea. a private fb group is not really private, just fyi. While not everyone cares about this, it is not a guests position to determine for her hosts whether or not they should have their intimate, private life advertised on fb. A pp made an excellent point about her  abusive ex as another possible reason for privacy. I don’t feel this needs to be explained to guests. A simple request should suffice. 

 I think it’s rude to show disrespect for the hosts of any event that you have chosen to attend, so I don’t get why anyone would deliberately   do exactly what the bride asked you not to do. 

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