(Closed) No social media posts during the wedding…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 122
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would do the sign thing. Ask people to enjoy the ceremony without taking pictures.

Also change your facebook settings so that you need to approve any photos tagged of you (and your fiance).  That way you have some control over pictures that other people post.  If you don’t like a picture you can not approve it.  THe picture will stay up but at least won’t be on your profile.

I’m actually planning on going the other way.  Social media played a huge role in how myself and my SO met and got to know each other (twitter in particular).  I’m planning on having a hashtag so we can see any pictures or messages posted on twitter and instagram.

 

Post # 123
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@RaysBride89:  I completely understand where you are coming from. I am sorry you are getting such negative reaction from other bees. I myself do not have a facebook account because I enjoy my privacy and do not feel the need to post everything about myself for everyone to see.

My sister on the other hand has to post everything and anything on her FB. She once posted a picture of myself and my family without my permission. At the time I had a FB account and when I asked her to take it down her reply was that it is her account and she can do what she pleases with it. Since then I deleted my account.

I get that you cant control what other people post on their FB but as far as photos of yourself, they should not post those things against your will. If I wanted photos of myself floating around the internet I would post them myself. This is a talk I will be having with my sister and I am hoping she is understanding.

On a side note, You do what You want. It is your wedding! Good Luck!

Post # 124
Member
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I put a note in my program that read:

A Note on Photography

 Photos are a great way to remember a wonderful day, and we are sure many of you have brought cameras or camera phones with you. 

 While you are welcome to take pictures, our ceremony is very personal to us, and we ask that you respect that by not posting pictures of the ceremony on Facebook or other social media sites. (This request does not apply to pictures of guests or the reception.)

 We will gladly share our professional photos with guests when we receive them, and we look forward to seeing our friends and family smiling back at us, instead of a sea of camera lenses

It went over fine with the guests (at least no one complained) and everyone respected our wishes.

Post # 125
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@RaysBride89:  do people honestly not know that it’s a wedding not some random thing, and they shouldn’t be posting your big day on FB or anywhere without your permission? wowza. 🙁

Post # 127
Member
6835 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@LadyBear:  That is such a good way to do it.  I might have to follow suit too!

Post # 128
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

you can’t. just make it so you have to approve all pictures you’re tagged in or remove your wall.  wedding day or 3 months after the wedding day, you can’t control if a bad picture of you is put up.

By the way, I get where you’re coming from, but unfortunately this is the world of social media.  It’s not right that people can put pictures up of you on the internet against without your permission, but I just don’t know of any way to combat that.  Unless you ask people not to take pictures of you at all.  Again, not sure if that is feasible either. 

Post # 129
Member
656 posts
Busy bee

WHY IS ANYONE going to a wedding of people whose wishes they won’t respect?

Who rolls eyes at someone’s wedding?

Who does this?! Why are people celebrating a day with people they roll eyes at and ignore?

OP you are not being rude. It is perfectly acceptable for you to ask people to not put pictures of you up on the internet.

I like a lot of the ideas PPs have given.

Post # 131
Member
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@RaysBride89:  Glad to help! This is something I really struggled with expressing until I hit upon this wording.

ETA – A few of the guests with nicer cameras still took pictures and took the initiative to post them on snapfish and send us a link, which as nice while we were waiting on pro pics.

Post # 132
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Miss Jackrabbit:  Sometimes people can be really down to earth, and then when it is their wedding they do/say things that make myself and others roll their eyes. 

Post # 133
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t really ever take pics at weddings. BUT if I wanted to, I would still do it even if you told me not to. Like if I’m at the perfect spot and it would be a great pic– I’m taking it… and putting it on facebook probly. I would never tell people to not take pics where they want. I’m not the camera nazi. 

Post # 134
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Eva Peron:  +1.  I don’t even have Facebook (GAASSSP), but I know that there are tons of photos of me floating around out there posted by friends and family.  You definitely don’t have to be “tagged” to have them out there.. evil I tell you. 🙂

And for those who are saying that people out in social media don’t care about you and your life and you are not a celebrity.. that’s really not the point.  The person who is IN the photo cares, and that’s what matters.  Just because you wouldn’t care if photos of you are posted everywhere on the internet doesn’t mean everyone feels that way.  

However I do agree with PPs that it’s difficult to say don’t post photos without my approval.  How are you going to approve the photos?  I think it will have to be a request to not share photos at all.

Post # 135
Member
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

I like the chalkboard idea. I’m all over social media but totally don’t get why people think it’s their RIGHT to post whatever pictures they take. I mean, ok maybe it is their right, but it’s not NICE to post pictures of people who don’t want them posted. I have a friend who doesn’t want any pictures of her kids on the internet and even though her friends and family would LOVE to post pictures holding her babies, no one does because we’re all adults who are able to respect the wishes of others. 

Ask for an “unplugged wedding” in any way you see fit, modify your FB settings so you can’t be tagged, post a status update asking people to check with you before posting pictures OF YOU. That’s all you can do. If people think it’s rude to try to control YOUR picture on public forums, that’s on them. 

Post # 136
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

im glad you posted this and not me bc i was wondering the same thing (cant believe it got heated). i have thought the same thing about not wanting people posting a bunch of pics on fb. not bc i think it will ruin ppl seeing pro ones (i wont be putting them on fb) but bc its my wedding and its private.

Here’s a tangent question:  Let’s say your best friend (or sister) just gave birth to a baby.  You quickly scoot over there and take pictures.  She asks you NOT to upload pictures of her child to facebook.  Do you comply or just think “Screw her.  She’s being UNREASONABLE” and upload the pics anyway?


SO RIGHT! whats the diff?! they are both special moments. i didnt feel bad about asking ppl not to take pics and post them of my son so idk why i feel bad now …hmmm

 

 

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