Post # 16
breatheandrelax: that’s actually what prompted this thread. I
Admittedly I was laughing hysterically, then sad, then like :
“What? “, then laughing again… then my fiance and I talked about it because he was reading the speeches thread with me and we kind of said yeah we don’t want to do that. But I love that thread! so funny to see you on here thank you.
Post # 17
As everyone is saying, don’t do a sign and just tell the MC not to allow anyone to grab the mic, it will be fine. I had no speeches at my wedding and it was awesome. DH did a quick welcome type toast that was maybe 30 seconds and that was it.
Post # 18
We didn’t have toasts/speeches at our rehearsal dinner or at the wedding. I’m glad we didn’t, for various personal reasons. I don’t think anyone missed them either.
Post # 19
athenalex: Yeah. We had some family get a little liberal with their speeches. My younger brother gave his after promising not to make a scene, and true to form, was hilariously embarrassing despite our pleas to be normal for just one day. My husband leaned over at one point and told me we should have positioned a sniper on a grassy knoll.
Post # 20
speeches are my favourite part of the wedding!!
i love hearing the couples background or how they felt meeting the parents for the first time etc.
Post # 21
I never even thought about it… no one is going to give a speech/toast at our reception, or I don’t think they will!
I think you should just personally tell people “we’re not doing toasts/speeches”. Telling the DJ is probably okay too. A sign sort of seems odd to me.
Post # 22
It is so good to read this thread! We were thinking about no toasts/speeches, but I wasn’t sure whether that would be too weird, or would people be like, oh, poor couple, no one likes them enough to give a toast. But it sounds like we’re not the only ones considering this! Yay!
Post # 23
A sign on mic might be good idea. You know your crowd best.
Post # 24
Were not doing speeches either! We have just told all the usual people (MOH, Bridesmaid or Best Man, dad) that we dont want them to do a speech or toast. I hate giving speeches and get very nervous so I think its probably a huge relief to them. I dont think you will need a sign, just tell the DJ not to let anyone take the mic.
Post # 25
athenalex: not crazy at all! we did all of our toasts at the rehearsal dinner the night before because we figured that nobody at the reception really wanted to listen to them anyway. Our wedding coordinator actually recommended this and it was the best idea ever!
Post # 26
athenalex: if I was your Maid/Matron of Honor, I’d kiss you. I have having to make a speech/toast. When I’m not having to give the speech, I really couldn’t care less about listening to them. So I’m all for this idea.
Post # 27
H and I did not have any toasts given at our wedding. No one, not even H or I, spoke at our wedding. I don’t think anyone missed them.
I know as a guest, I find toasts, mainly if they are long and filled with a lot of inside jokes, to be very boring. Now if someone stood up and said “I am so happy for the both of you and wish you nothing but joy and happiness. Congratulations!” then that is perfect. But when you start getting into stories about when you were both 5 making mud pies in the backyard is where I start glazing over.
And it certainly is not rude to say “no toasts” to your friends and family. Just tell your DJ that no one is allowed the microphone and if anyone asks about doing a speech/toasts just tell them thanks but no thanks.
Post # 28
I think the bigger thing will be explaining to the people who are probably expecting to give speeches (parents, best man/moh) that you don’t want them in advance. A lot of people want to give speeches to honor the couple (it’s the first thing my dad starting talking about after I got engaged) and you can’t very well have them put time at effort into it and then have them show up to find out you don’t want to hear it. Even then they may try to surprise you anyway.
I totally get not wanting speeches, especially in your situation. But you might have some hurt feelings among people who really want to talk so be prepated for that.