(Closed) No support when trying to lose weight

posted 7 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well there are plenty of Bees on here trying to lose weight!  I’m not involved in any but I know there are a couple of threads where people encourage each other and engage in a little friendly competition.  And if they’re laughing at you maybe they just think you don’t need to lose any weight?

Post # 4
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t really have much supprt either.  My mom says “you look fine” and shrugs it off. My Fiance says he’s proud of me for all the hard work, but that’s the end of that.  i don’t have too many female friends, and i’m not really gonna talk to my guys friends about it.  I’ll support you!!!  What are your weight loss goals? What’s your new diet/fitness routine?

Post # 6
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s tough, but your motivation has to come from within you. I don’t get much support with my fitness goals either from my family. So I started posting here and on Sparkpeople.com, and then even started a facebook group for my friends who actually have similar goals, and we check in daily.

Post # 7
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@nhanvey: Yeah they are probably shrugging it off because if someone is lighter than them and says they want to lose weight it makes them feel bad

Post # 8
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@nhanvey: Frown That stinks! Maybe you can tell your SO that you need him to be more supportive, that it’s really important to you. There are lots of people on Wedding Bee that are trying to lose weight, and there’s always websites like SparkPeople. If you want in-person support, are you doing Weight Watchers? I’m not sure what your fitness/diet plan is. Or maybe there are some friends or coworkers that would be really supportive?

Post # 10
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@nhanvey: I find it very hard to get support for weight loss when you are surrounded by people who are heavy.  Either because they don’t think that it is a problem or because they don’t want to address their own problems with weight or they don’t want you to be skinnier than they are.  I had some problems with a former friend who didn’t like my losing weight as it made me look better than her–clearly she is a former friend as I don’t need friends like that!

With Fiance, I have discovered that bringing up the health aspect of weight is more effective than losing weight for looks.  He doesn’t really *get* it re: my wanting to lose weight for looks (since clearly he loves me and thinks that I am the most beautiful woman in the world the way that I am), but when I bring up the health benefits of losing weight–including being able to be a better parent when we have children and being alive longer–it makes more sense.  And makes him want to lose weight also so that he can keep up with his kids when we have them!

Post # 11
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve had similar issues before….esp with Fiance who always says “but babe you look great!” Nice to hear, but in that moment, not what you need!

I’ve found that approaching it from a different perspective can help…instaed of saying you want to lose weight, say you want to eat healthier, be more active, etc. I think it’s true what PP said-weight it something everyone is secure about, so bringing it up makes ppl feel insecure about themselves.

Do you live with FI? Making it something you do together-even just small changes like a salad w dinner every night would be a good way to start that he (in theory) might go for since it’s not a huge difference? Tell him it’s really important to you and you really need his help (guys love to feel needed! lol)

Post # 14
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Try signing up for myfitnesspal.com!  you tell the site how much you want to lose, and how quickly you want to lose it.  from there it tells you how many calories you can eat to meet your goals.  there are boards for motivation and support.  Also, you keep track of your caloric intake and exercise on the site.  They have an app too.  Don’t forget to drink lots of water!

Post # 15
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hey!!

Ok so I understand. When I decided this year ( a month ago) I wanted to tone up, my fiance kind of giggled. Like hey, I said it before, and did lose weight, but I gained it all back. I’m not really sure why he laughed at me, I have always been pretty active, but he did. It kind of sucked.

Anyways, I just told myself this, that this journey is about me, and my personal accomplishments. It’s not about my fiance, or trying to look prettier, or fit an ideal. Its about doing the best I can do physically, and challenge myself in a way I haven’t been challenged before ( I am trying to become a runner).

You just have to remember, that the reason you are going on this journey is for yourself. You don’t have to have support from others, because everything comes from within yourself. And as you make changes, and become a healthier, stronger you, people will naturally support it because you are becomming happier, and healthier. Who wouldn’t support that?

Also, I second http://www.myfitnesspal.com its an awesome site, with great success stories, and VERY supportive people. If you do decide to join the site, which is free btw, let me know and I can add you as a friend, and I’ll support you 🙂

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