Post # 1
My fiance’s co-worker got married almost two months ago, and we attended the wedding. I ended up writing the gift check to the couple. I had just opened a new bank account, and had been given a few starter checks from the bank – none of which had my name on it. I signed it, but my signature is very difficult to read.
We included the check in a card signed by us and the check was cashed a week or two after the wedding. However, to date, I have not received a thank you card. I know they received the check because they cashed it, but my concern is that maybe they separated the checks from the cards and then did not realize it was from us when they cashed it (since check did not have name on it and signature was probably ilegible to them).
I am concerned because I don’t want them to think we didn’t give them a gift and totally cheaped out, when in fact we gave them a fairly nice-sized amount of money.
But they may not realize the check they cashed was from us. I’m surprised I haven’t received a thank you card, because we were out for dinner with the couple last week and the bride casually mentioned how her thank you cards had matched her invitations. I am thinking of asking a mutual friend who was also at the wedding if they received a thank you. If they did, and I did not, should I or my husband reach out to the couple to make sure they received our check (obviously we know they did because it was cashed) but just to make sure they knew it was from us? Or is it possible the bride hasn’t sent out thank yous yet – although two months after the wedding, I would assume she would have gotten around to it by now.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2011 - Clark Gardens
It took me almost 3 months to get the lasts of my Thank You cards out in the mail. I ran out halfway through, had to order more, had to get more stamps, etc. I sent out batches of them at different times.
I’d give her a little more time, if you can! I’m sure she’s trying to get to them and feels horribly about the delay. I know I did.
Post # 4
I think there’s a large possibility she hasn’t done it yet… we once got a thank you card six months after the wedding! But you could check with your friend to see if she got one!
Post # 5
I’d give it a little more time.
I got married 2 1/2 months ago and I’m only half way through my thank you cards. So some people have received thank yous where others are still yet to be written.
Maybe wait until Jan or Feb (since you know they got it) and see if a thank you materializes.
Post # 5
I didn’t get my thank-yous out until almost 3 months out. I just got a thank you this week from a wedding in mid-July. They probably don’t have them finished yet.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t say anything. The fact that she brought up thank you’s means that she’ll probably be sending them out soon. Many brides take quite a few months to send thank you’s. I’d give it a few more months!
Post # 7
Thanks, all. I didn’t realize it could take so long to get all the thank yous out. I will give it some more time 🙂
Post # 8
Also, it is rude to point out others etiquette blunders. Letting them know you didn’t get a proper thank you is pointing it out.
Post # 9
So something like this happened to us. We gave DH friends a very nice gift with multiple kitchen appliances/utensils. Our thank you card on listed one or two of the items. I ended up emailing th ebride and low and behold they had become seperated and they had no idea who they were from.
I would give the bride a couple more months, you know they got it so its not lost, and then have Fiance casually mention it to the co-worker, just to make sure that it hadn’t gotten seperated or something.
Post # 10
@andielovesj: I see your point, however not sending one is just as rude. I’ve been to 5 weddings in the last 3 years for DH best friends and not one of them ever sent out thank you notes. I found that completely rude and yes after #5 you bet I said something! 🙂
Post # 11
It is absolutely rude to not send a thank you. But pointing it out is equally rude. Stooping to be rude to just point out their error is possibly even worse.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2011 - Blossom Heath
We just finished addressing all of our thank you cards for our late August wedding. So she just may not have gotten them all finished yet.
Post # 13
I don’t see anything wrong with asking if someone got a gift. If I didn’t receive a thank you, I wouldn’t automatically point out that I didn’t receive a thank you.. I would just ask if they recieved my gift. It’s a polite way to point out a thank you wasn’t received which means they didn’t get the gift or they haven’t sent thank you’s.
Post # 14
Out of the 6 weddings I’ve been to (4 of which I was actually in the bridal party), I have only ever recieved 2 thank you notes. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m satisfied if I at least get to see the couple face to face, and they thank me for coming before I actually leave.
That said, I still plan to be old-fashioned and send out thank you’s when my wedding is done.
Post # 15
I looked up the proper etiquette, and the couple has up to a year. We went to a wedding, and 11 months after the wedding we got a thank you. Weird.