(Closed) no thank you yet, should I call

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4485 posts
Honey bee

The most tactful way to approach this is to not say anything. It sucks but there really isn’t anything you can do about it without appearing rude yourself.

Post # 4
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Seems to me like the couple may have already broken some etiquette rules themselves by dictacting their gifts!

I never recieved a thank you from my friend for the wedding gift I got her (I was a bridesmaid). I’m sort of paranoid that she never received it, but at the same time I didn’t want to appear to be looking for a thank you and didn’t mention it. Now too much time has passed to bring it up.

Post # 5
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would say that you should not say anything, at least not yet. I was embarrassingly slow in sending out my “thank you’s” (8 weeks or something!) after my baby shower, because I was always too busy or tired to tackle the task. I realized that I was taking too long, and would be been mortified if someone had brought it up to me…

Give them the benefit of the doubt, as they’re no doubt busy with moving and unpacking! The next time you see them or speak to them (for an unrelated reason than to ask about the thank you’s) bring up to them that you just want to be sure they got the gift.

Post # 6
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Two months isn’t THAT bad compared to some people. I’d give it another month or two. One couple whose wedding I attended took EIGHT months to do thank yous!

Post # 7
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmm… are you close to anyone else that’s close to her, like MOB or a BM?  Maybe bring up to them that you want to make sure the couple got your gift…that way the other person can give them a nudge about your thank you card without it coming directly from you.

According to some other posts here, the couple have up to a year after the wedding to send thank yous…maybe they’ve been otherwise busy.  Hope for the best!

Post # 8
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’d say if you don’t hear from them by mid-July it would be all right to call to make sure they received it. Sure, they’re probably just behind especially if they’re in the process of moving/getting ready to move, but the sad fact remains that sometimes mail gets stolen….

Post # 9
2682 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldnt say anything.  It took us about 2-3 months to finish our thank yous and get them sent out so 2 months of waiting isnt unheard of.  if you dont get a thank you a few months from now you can always bring something up in conversation to allude to the gift without bringing it up directly.

Post # 11
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Oh jeez.  Our wedding was 2.5 months ago, and we still have probably 1/3 of the thank yous to do.  I’d give them a little more time 🙂

Post # 12
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

2 months isn’t that bad. She may be waiting on her photography for thank yous. I’m with Kittyachi – FI & I went to a wedding last Aug & got the thank you in April/May!!

Post # 13
5390 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I gave a gift last year and I still haven’t received a thank you. We were talking one day and she said she received it, but she never sent a thank you note. My mama never received a thank you or a thank you note from a wedding from last year either.

Maybe they are under the impression that they have a whole year to send a thank you note. Some people get confused by this because they think that because guest have a whole year to send a gift, then they have a whole year to say thank you.

Post # 14
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I just got a thank you card for a wedding we attended last September, so there’s a strong possiblity they’re just slow.

However I will say – since I have experience with stuff getting stolen in the mail – that there’s nothing wrong with cehceking they received your card.  If you’re close and speak casually, you could mention the CARD and not the gift like “I really liked the card I sent you and I snatched it up the moment I saw it because it reminded me of you.” or something to see if she knows what you’re talking about. Of course that onyl works if you recall the card or it was remarkable in some way.

Post # 15
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had this happen years ago.  I had friends who got married in Italy, and had the reception at a later date in a city about 4 hours away.  I couldn’t afford to go at the time, so I sent them a check.

It’s like 5 years later, and I never got a thank you.  I know that they got it, because, well they cashed the check.  Needless to say, they weren’t invited to my wedding.

Post # 16
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d give them a little longer….most people don’t get thank you’s out within 8 weeks it seems.

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