(Closed) No visitors for 4-8+ hours after labor & delivery – is this unreasonable?

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 91
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Definitely not unreasonable! My waters broke at 3.30am and bubs wasn’t born until 4pm that day, so after a full day of labour and a stressful delivery the last thing I wanted was visitors! Luckily visiting hours were only until 8pm and we didn’t get moved out of the delivery suite (no visitors allowed) until 7.30pm, so we had a good excuse.

We did notify our immediate family after he was born (birth details and a photo). Mother-In-Law was disappointed that we did not tell her we were in labour, but I felt if we told them that we would be fielding questions all day of “is he here yet”. 

I don’t think it would be unreasonable to wait until bubs is born and then see how you all feel. If it is a long drive for them to get to the hospital, they might plan to stay longer than you think!

Post # 92
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

Unless she’s in your body helping you to push that baby out (or however baby is coming out), then it’s up to you to decide your recovery preferences. It’s not a walk in the park. It’s her first granchild, sure, but it’s your first CHILD. She has already experienced childbirth (presumably, if she didn’t adopt) so to ask you to share such an important time in your life when you would prefer to do it differently is self-centered.

Understandably she’s incredibly excited and may not even realise there’s a boundry she’s crossed, but a gentle reminder that this is YOUR time and she’s had her own experiences might help her see better. She’s grandma, not Ma.

Post # 93
Member
4534 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not unreasonable at all.  could you maybe have a chat to her one on one. Say something like….

We are so excited and truly thankful that our little boy will have a grandmother who will love him as much as we will.  I understand that you are disappointed but it is my first baby and I am a little hesitant, unsure how it will all go and how I will feel during and after the birth. I know myself enough to know I will need some alone time and bonding with baby and SO to process all my feelings and thoughts.  I promise you as soon as we are ready to introduce baby, you will be the first person we want through the door.

Post # 94
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

You are not being unreasonable what so ever.  The time right after birth is you and your DH’s time to bond with this perfect creature the two of you created.  If you want that time alone everyone should give you your space.

I was only 19 when I had my daughter and a heard of people barged in right after her birth.  I was blessed to have a wonderful doctor who kicked them all out for me and I spent the next 6 hours alone with her.  That time was amazing and I would not trade it for anything. 

Post # 95
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

This is an awesome idea that I’ve never even thought of, you’re absolutely entitled to bonding time with the two closest people yo you. Thanks for the suggestion! 🙂

Post # 96
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Mrs. Boa Constrictor:  They’d be staying in a hotel if this happened to me. And no visiting until the 2 weeks was up, as inititally requested. They can either accept that, or cancel their flights and respect your initial wishes. That’s absolutely unacceptable, IMO, and is only setting a bad precident for future “events”

Post # 97
Member
8957 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

MrsGAM:  There’s no right or wrong way. One of my loved ones gave birth a couple years ago and she invited a bunch of people to be there the whole time. Her labor and delivery was a big party and she loved it. It was amazing and I’ve never seen anything like it. It didn’t interfere with her breastfeeding or bonding, and afterwards she said she felt so loved and supported and it meant a lot that so many people were there to welcome her baby into the world. Fortunately her doctor and hospital were on board and she had a fairly easy, complication-free delivery. Her baby is now a happy healthy toddler and they love each other to death. That’s what worked for her. You have a different idea of what you’re hoping for, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As long as you know you’re not being controlling, that’s what matters and your Mother-In-Law will be happy to see the baby when you decide it’s time for visitors.

Post # 98
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

MrsGAM:  Just note that the nurses in OB/GYN are wonderful liars. They will gladly pretend there is a policy in effect or make up some excuse that people cannot visit. Just let them know what you want, and they will make it happen. They do it all the time because of situations like this.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  NLbride.

The topic ‘No visitors for 4-8+ hours after labor & delivery – is this unreasonable?’ is closed to new replies.

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