(Closed) No wedding gift for Bride & Groom..?!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
15 posts
Newbee

I would actually love to get a memory book! It takes time to put together and I think it’s very sweet and thoughtful. It sounds like a great idea.

Post # 17
Member
6516 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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miss-sydneysider:  everything you are doing is a gift! 

Post # 18
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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EllyAnne:  I hate most poems out there. We said the following on our invites: 

What should I bring as a gift?
Not a thing! The most important part of our day is that we get to share it with you. However if you would like to offer a gift, a monetary gift is truly appreciated.

We had one of our inserts in our invites be a FAQ. So it had “where should we stay? what should we wear?” etc, hence the “what should I bring as a gift” at the start. 

Post # 19
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - The George, Christchurch

I flew from new Zealand to UK to by my friends Maid/Matron of Honor. I wasnt expected to give a gift. She paid for my dress and accessories and gave me a gift but me flying all that way was enough for her.I however chose to gift something small and meaningful from my country. Glass coasters and matching plate with kiwi designs. She loved them and was totally unexpected. Your idea of a memory book is a lovely idea and will mean more than money towards something they need. Good luck 🙂

Post # 20
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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Thrburko89:  So, you told them not to bring anything but cash basically? I feel like if you wouldn’t say it to someones face you shouldn’t put it on the invitation. And I would never tell people what to bring or what not to bring to my wedding. Gifts aren’t even supposed to be mentioned because it’s not like people are required to give a gift; monetary or not. If would be very put off if that was written on an invitation that i received. 

Post # 21
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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daniellemc:  I’m not sure where you live but in Australia, it’s very common to have attire, registry details, and all those other things that etiquette says you shouldn’t have on your invites.  

And I would say that to someone’s face. When our save-the-dates went out, I had people ask. I said to them “no, no, you don’t have to bring a gift! but if you’d like to, we will have a wishing well available on the day”. 

If we do get gifts other than monetary, of course we will happily accept them! But we honestly believe everyone will give us money if they choose to give a gift. 

For us, it’s just the norm now. The last few weddings I’ve been to, the couple didn’t receive any gifts other than money – the only exceptions were when the MOB bought the dress, or FOB bought jewellery for the day, etc. We have a life together – and our family and friends know that. We have our own home, we don’t need any of the “typical” presents. 

And registries aren’t done where I live – there’s no where TO register! 😛

With whatever money we do receive, we’re going to take note of how much from whom and spend it on our honeymoon and then in our thank-you cards, tell our guests what their money helped us do/buy/etc.

 

Post # 22
Member
3031 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

You don’t need to give a gift. Write them a nice card! Those were my favorite!

Post # 23
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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amberback:  Ditto! A really heartfelt note (and gorgeous home-made gift) is amazing! 

Post # 24
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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miss-sydneysider:  No, do not tell her you are not getting her a gift! The books ARE the gift. You are in deed over thinking this. =)

I am not expecting any gift from my Maid/Matron of Honor, and have expressed many times that I do not want her to get us anything. For us, having our dearest family/friends standing next to us on the best day of our lives IS the gift.  I would be shocked if any bride or groom expects a gift from their wedding party!

Post # 25
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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BrideK2Wings:  I personally disagree. I get the notion behind not “expecting” a gift from your bridal party but I have paid for their dresses, the hotel rooms, and they only need to pay for their hair and makeup (if they want it) which was $75. I’ve done all the DIY without help, it takes most of them a week to get back to me, and I had to plan my own bachelorette. Which is fine – because it’s my wedding and my wedding shouldn’t take up their entire lives. 

But if I don’t get a card, I’ll be annoyed. 

Post # 26
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I didn’t expect a single gift from anyone on the bridal party. Some gave, others didn’t and i look at them no differently. My braidesmaids paid a ridiculous amount for my bachelorette and paid to get their dresses etc,… thats good enough for me!

Post # 28
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I agree with all the girls- memory book and no explanation needed. <3

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