(Closed) No wedding invite..

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I still be friends with the bride, or is this giving me the middle finger?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    29 %
    No : (39 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    919 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    That’s so strange…I have a really hard time believing you wouldn’t be invited to the wedding. You’re invited to the bachelorette, for christ’s sake! I would ask her – it’s possible it got lost in the mail or something.

    Post # 3
    Member
    294 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    It couldve been lost in the mail, or maybe she didn’t think you needed an official invite since you guys are so close. Just ask her. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1295 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I would ask before being offended. When my sister got married, she had to send 2 invoted to my dad, he never got the first one. Since you were invited to the bachlorette, it would be super poor etiquitte on her part to not invote you to the wedding. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1488 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would just say, “Hey, this is embarrassing, but, while I know I’m invited to the bachelorette party and we’ve been helping each other plan our weddings, I just wanted to check: am I invited to your wedding? Because I haven’t gotten an invite and want to make sure it wasn’t lost in the mail.”

    Post # 6
    Member
    1788 posts
    Buzzing bee

    tamara.rawhiti:  I know in the UK it’s common to invite everyone to the hen party even if they’re not invited to the wedding…. in the USA we don’t think that’s proper etiquitte unless the bride is having a super small family-only wedding. Inviting people to a shower or bachelorette party w/out an actual wedding invite is tacky and gift-grabby.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3169 posts
    Sugar bee

    yupmarried:  i think that’s because we don’t give gifts at the bridal shower or hens in the UK and Australia. Well, maybe something token for a shower if there even is one. 

    Please let us know how you go. I am so hoping it’s just a mix up because it would just seem so odd for her to include you in so many other ways and not invite you. I’m glad you’ve processed it and are taking it well. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3586 posts
    Sugar bee

     

    tamara.rawhiti:  Do you think maybe she is just assuming you are going and do not need an invite? I am curious to hear what she says

    Post # 10
    Member
    462 posts
    Helper bee

    tamara.rawhiti:  if it turns out you’re not invited and you decide not to be offended you are a much, MUCH bigger person than I am! 😉

    Do you know if children are invited? Maybe she has a complete ban on kids and knows as a breastfeeding mum that you wouldn’t be able to attend without baby… (although I would still find that incredibly rude that she didn’t have that conversation with you prior to sending out invites). Good luck. Keep us updated!

    Post # 11
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee

    I recently heard from an invitee to my own wedding who never received her invitation. I am POITIVE that I sent her one. I’m so glad that she reached out in confusion, rather than conclude that she was being snubbed!!!!

    Post # 12
    Member
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Sending you a pic of the invites definitely makes it seem like she knows you didn’t get one in the mail 🙁

    Post # 13
    Member
    727 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It’s good you just asked her – Let us know what she says. It may of been lost in the mail! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Update us with her response. In addition to getting lost in the mail, it’s possible your invite somehow never got addressed or stamped. I only sent out about 45 invites, and I cross referenced my envelopes with my list like 3 times because I was so afraid I’d miss one. I think it would be really easy to miss one with a larger wedding. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Yeah — getting lost in the mail is most certainly a high probability.  I sent out the mail 2.5 weeks ago.  Of course I forgot postage on my mother’s and my FI’s mother never got hers.  (Of all people, right?  But of course, crazy Uncle Joe got his before EVERYBODY else!!!)  It just happens that way.  Don’t make assumptions!

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