Post # 1
One of my good friends I have known since I was ten is getting married in a few months and I am getting married next year. When I found out about her wedding she was excited to share details ect she’s even been helping me plan mine. She mentioned I would be invited to her engagement party, but ended up cancelling due to a personal family matter. Then i have been invited to the bachelorette party as well, but so far have not received a wedding invite. I’m starting to think I’m not invited as other guests got their invites weeks ago. Other close friends of mine (who I wouldn’t consider closer with the bride) have already RSVPd. And I attended the brides bday with just her best mates and fiances family the other day and they said see you in a few months, meaning the wedding. I’m a bit hurt as I was going to invite her to my wedding, and it makes me think we aren’t as close as I thought. For her bachelorette it is an all day and night event. I live quite far away so I’m expected to travel and find over night accommodation, pay $150 for the night time event, and then the day event is at a winery so drinks and food for that, then transport to the city over an hour away for the night event. I’m also a new mum, breastfeeding so I can’t drink or even be away long from my baby. I’m just wondering is it normal to invite guests to a bachelorette but not a wedding? I thought it was a faux pas. And am I right to feel offended? I think if I went it would be awkward with all the wedding talk. I should also mention she is not having a small wedding it will be around 160 to 200 ppl. She has shown me the invites because I asked her for the name of her lady who did them. She said all of my guests got this with a silver envelope for return. Then sent a pic of them. I don’t think she would do that if I was getting one. Now it’s really awkward.
Post # 2
That’s so strange…I have a really hard time believing you wouldn’t be invited to the wedding. You’re invited to the bachelorette, for christ’s sake! I would ask her – it’s possible it got lost in the mail or something.
Post # 3
It couldve been lost in the mail, or maybe she didn’t think you needed an official invite since you guys are so close. Just ask her.
Post # 4
I would ask before being offended. When my sister got married, she had to send 2 invoted to my dad, he never got the first one. Since you were invited to the bachlorette, it would be super poor etiquitte on her part to not invote you to the wedding.
Post # 5
I would just say, “Hey, this is embarrassing, but, while I know I’m invited to the bachelorette party and we’ve been helping each other plan our weddings, I just wanted to check: am I invited to your wedding? Because I haven’t gotten an invite and want to make sure it wasn’t lost in the mail.”
Post # 6
tamara.rawhiti: I know in the UK it’s common to invite everyone to the hen party even if they’re not invited to the wedding…. in the USA we don’t think that’s proper etiquitte unless the bride is having a super small family-only wedding. Inviting people to a shower or bachelorette party w/out an actual wedding invite is tacky and gift-grabby.
Post # 7
Thanks for the replies ladies. I decided to just ask her and I am currently awaiting a response. Hopefully it’s just a misunderstanding, and if it isn’t I’ve decided not to be offended. I have my own wedding to plan and I’ll probably still extend her an invite to be polite. I won’t attend the bachelorette party though, it’s too much of an expense if she wouldn’t spend that on me for a plate at her wedding.
Post # 8
yupmarried: i think that’s because we don’t give gifts at the bridal shower or hens in the UK and Australia. Well, maybe something token for a shower if there even is one.
Please let us know how you go. I am so hoping it’s just a mix up because it would just seem so odd for her to include you in so many other ways and not invite you. I’m glad you’ve processed it and are taking it well.
Post # 9
tamara.rawhiti: Do you think maybe she is just assuming you are going and do not need an invite? I am curious to hear what she says
Post # 10
tamara.rawhiti: if it turns out you’re not invited and you decide not to be offended you are a much, MUCH bigger person than I am! 😉
Do you know if children are invited? Maybe she has a complete ban on kids and knows as a breastfeeding mum that you wouldn’t be able to attend without baby… (although I would still find that incredibly rude that she didn’t have that conversation with you prior to sending out invites). Good luck. Keep us updated!
Post # 11
I recently heard from an invitee to my own wedding who never received her invitation. I am POITIVE that I sent her one. I’m so glad that she reached out in confusion, rather than conclude that she was being snubbed!!!!
Post # 12
Sending you a pic of the invites definitely makes it seem like she knows you didn’t get one in the mail 🙁
Post # 13
It’s good you just asked her – Let us know what she says. It may of been lost in the mail!
Post # 14
Update us with her response. In addition to getting lost in the mail, it’s possible your invite somehow never got addressed or stamped. I only sent out about 45 invites, and I cross referenced my envelopes with my list like 3 times because I was so afraid I’d miss one. I think it would be really easy to miss one with a larger wedding.
Post # 15
Yeah — getting lost in the mail is most certainly a high probability. I sent out the mail 2.5 weeks ago. Of course I forgot postage on my mother’s and my FI’s mother never got hers. (Of all people, right? But of course, crazy Uncle Joe got his before EVERYBODY else!!!) It just happens that way. Don’t make assumptions!